Stardust

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YAY!!! Another red-head!

No fair - showing a picture from 25 years ago!

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Well, as the father of a fast approaching teenage daughter I am fervently hoping that five of the girls you are raising are of the non thermoregulating variety. Other wise, man oh man are you in for it. Ha Ha Ha.

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Don't guess you could post a copy of that application??? Although I doubt it would have as much effect as my husbands idea of meeting all prospective suitors at the door with his deer rifle and a sharp knife. I have a 12 year old going on 25. Luckily she has 2 brothers and still thinks boys are grossuke: LOL Just hope she keeps thinking that for the next 40 years or so!!!

Colette Slavens

Here is the application.




APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical report from your physician.

1. What is your name, age, social security number, IQ and boy
scout rank?

2. Do you have one male and one female parent?
If "No", explain:

3. Do you own or have access to a van?

4. A truck with oversize tires?

5. waterbed?

6. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?

7. Do you have a tattoo?

*If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue
application and leave immediately.*

8. In fifty words or less, what does LATE mean to you?


9. In fifty words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

10. In fifty words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

11. In fifty words or less, what does REAL PAIN mean to you?

12. Church/Temple you attend?

13. How often do you attend?

*If answer to 13 is less than twice per week discontinue application.*

14. When would be the best time to interview your mother,
father and priest/minister/rabbi?

15. Please fill in the blanks:
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded
would be my ____________________________
If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be
my ____________________________
A woman's place is in the ____________________________
The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is
____________________________
When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her
first is ____________________________

*Note: If answer to last question begins with "T" or "A",
discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and
running in a serpentine fashion is advised*

What do you want to be IF I let you grow up?

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my
knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or
mental abuse.

Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father _____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/minister/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative ______________________________
Signature of Governor ____________________________

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if
approved. If denied, please never apply again.

Don't call me, I'll call you.

just gotta love that, ROTFLMAO

Oh my!!! That is TO funny. Add that to the deer rifle, sharp knife and a very large angry looking man and we might have something there. I am in the process of making a couple hundred copies of this. I wonder if there is a graphics program on this thing that has blood splatter or something equally gorry I can add to it! Glad I only have one girl...although looking back on my "girlhood" mabey I need to come up with something similar for the boys.

We did something similar at halloween last year. Mike took my Burm and draped it over his shoulders before answering the door with the bowl of candy. First time I can remember having left overs!!!


Colette

oh dam...

i was just surfing the forum... one thing led to another... and i stumbled upon the Dating Application. you might want to hand them a pen... pulling the top off and placing it on the reverse end of the pen... as if to imply "here you go, make it legible." than leave the room without making eye contact. maybe come in a little later to see if thier done. any guy who doesn't have sweat beaded on his forehead is dangerous and has probably filled out a couple of these before.

i think its great and commend you on a witty sense of humor!

p.s. if i fill one of these out can i take out the 18 year old? just kidding.

bridge!

What?

Your in you 40's, no way! You look around thirty, AT MOST!!! Someone is a lucky man. Take care.

Dallas Quarles