Life

Most of my posts and polls are lighthearted and funny because I am an upbeat type of person, but occasionally I sprinkle in a serious post and this is one:

Everyone has a recipe for life whether they are conscious of it or not. Sometimes, it is good to sit down and examine what, in our lives, is important to us.

For instance, money is undeniably important, yet blindly chasing wealth is in my opinion, an error and a life not wisely spent, if it is not balanced out by integrity and other factors.

Relationships are important, but too often people, not wanting to be lonely or wanting what the opposite sex has to offer, spend all their time and efforts on the 'packaging and advertising', talking a good game, to get what they want, and find nothing left when they actually get into the relationship. Be honest. (Hmmm, I almost put the old phrase: "Don't let your mouth write a check your a** can't cash" but thought better of it lol). Take the time to be who you are, and when you find that special someone, it will be a true relationship.

For me, I try to live a life of integrity; and do my best to help those who cross my path. We are none of us perfect and that certainly applies to me, but it is good to at least attempt to follow a recipe, and to try to do the things we think are important.

My Dad is one of the finest people I have ever known. As a doctor and professor, now retired, he has given much to the world. I remember the phrase he used most often when talking to me about life, a quote from Shakespeare: "This, above all, to thine own self be true."

What is your recipe for life?

I don't really know if I have a set recipe for life...everything is changing so much all the time, that there isn't really time to worry too much about that for me...

Good friends and cold beer are certainties. A strong tie to the outside world is a must. (being a painter, you can go crazy if you dwell too much on your inside issues, without getting out to smell the roses and see the sights).

Oh yeah, and I really like roast beef.


greg

When I was a child, I was a mouse who did not like or get much attention. I was very moody. I was also taken advantage of once, by some REAL bad guys. THEY went to prison. But I was completely in the very depths of depression (15 years old). Then one day something awful happened. My brother, who had epilepsy, had had a seizure. Whenever that happened someone had to stay home and watch him. It was my turn, so I did. I spent most of the day out in the garden, watching my plants grow, and indoors I would listen to music and check in on my brother. The job required I merely make sure he hadn't moved, and to listen to make sure he had no more seizures. Unbeknownst to me, shortly after his last seizure, he quietly passed away. (he was 13, almost 14). While I was wallowing in the depths over what I had considered to be the worst time of my life, I suddenly found myself in one of the worst days of my life ever. Suddenly, and I take comfort in this as a positive benefit from a negative thing, I realized, like someone punched me in the gut, that life was precious and short and uncertain. I needed to treasure every single moment. My brother's death was peaceful, and I miss him. I don't think of him every day, or ever month even, but from time to time I think of the person he might have become, and I quietly mourn the loss of knowing him now, as an adult. But his loss was one that taught me about life and how precious it is.

I have a degree in statistics. I could make a WHOLE-LOTTA-MONEY with my degree, but I have no desire to do so. I have always wanted to teach. And so I teach. I don't make much, especially since I got married (to a teacher). But I would consider it to be a very upsetting thing to be pulled from the job I love and given a better-paying job that I would hate.

I try to live every single moment of my life. LIVE the moment. Even if it's a bad moment in time, I try to embrace the experiences of life, feel them fully, document them with my senses, and accept them as gifts, because each day, good or bad, is a gift.

I can only feel sorrow for those who try to live each day and each moment only to get to the next one, who don't spend the time to enjoy every little thing around them.

I try to learn something new everyday. I try to make a little moment of happiness in the lives of those around me. Just that little vibration of good zinging through a person. Whether by my smile, or through a compliment (for they are made to be spoken, not just thought), or through some little thing I can do for the other person.

My life has had meaning. I've made an impact on many lives. Were a speeding herd of buffalo to knock me over and kill me today, I would say to rejoice for the life I have live, for I have no regrets. I do, however, plan to remain away from stampeding buffalo.

I know that I have some choices in life. I choose who are my friends, what my actions and reactions are, and what my mood is. The only one who gets me angry is myself. other people make their own choices. I try to share my feelings and philosophy with my students, and a lot of them don't get it. That's okay, I didn't get these things the first or fiftieth time around either. I've come to understand that lack of perfection is acceptable. I understand that I am always on that journey towards perfection, and will never QUITE arrive. I'm okay with that. When I make errors (and boy do I ever) I try to figure out what those errors are, and learn from them, and not make them. Sometimes I'm more able to avoid them than others.

I try to show my students the effervescence of life, encourage them to understand the bigger picture that life has to bring them. I try to understand their own lack of understanding...see their point of view, even when it isn't my own.

I watch the sunrise, and I watch the sunset. I feel with pleasure the fur of my cats, and mice and rats. I watch with awe the process by which my creatures create new life, and I am awed by that new life.

This is, in a nutshell, the person I try to be, and my philosphy of life. The first and most all-encompassing philosophy I ever had...was the desire to live my life so that when I reach old age I will be a cheerful, happy, delightful old woman, that people will LIKE to visit, who will not bemoan the past, or even the present, but instead extoll the virtues of the good things, and quietly smile away the errors of the bad things of both past and present.

Sasheena, you are a VERY beautiful person.....

I would have to say that I am in my own way searching for the meaning of life. As a 22 year old, I still feel like I have a lot to experience and learn from this world, but this is sort of my philosophy thus far:

My biggest and most fundamental core belief is to cause as little suffering as possible. I think this statement is very basic and at times hard to follow. I believe if you are truthful and honest with others, show them respect and be fair, you will succeed in all aspects of life. I believe that all life is connected in some way, we all have an essense or soul if you will and that connects each and every one of us--human or animal. And if we cause suffering to someone else we are essentially causing ourselves suffering as well. That is why we must try to avoid all suffering at all costs. I hold this thought dearly to my heart.

Some may consider me an extremist in this as I am a strict vegan - meaning I do not consume any animal flesh (no beef, chicken, fish, anything) or any animal by-products (no dairy milk, cheese, honey, etc.) or use anything that comes from an animal (silk, wool, leather, etc.). I know many people do not appreciate this way of life but I feel that it not only benefits my body and soul, but in a way benefits the world. I would not want to hurt an animal just as much as I would not want to hurt a human. I know some of my ideals may seem outrageous as viewed in the death poll thread (I'm obviously against it), but I feel that we all (humans and animals alike) deserve to live and we should not be able to take the life of another because they did something wrong or because they taste good.

I try to understand other people's points of view as it is very easy to get caught up in judgements and gossip. It is hard, but I try not to take anything personally. If someone does something hurtful to me or causes me pain it is essentially not a problem with me, but something about the person causing the suffering. Whatever other people say or do to you is because of them, not because of you. It is hard to take yourself out of the situation and look upon it as a by-stander, but I think that is good to not take things personally. (I'm still working on this one.)

Also, I think being impeccible with your word is extremely important. If you can't be true to your word then you have nothing. At the core fundamental aspects of life all we have is our word. If we use our word to damage others or to cause suffering we are accomplishing nothing but pain, but if we use our word to do good, then we are not only benefiting the people around us, but ourselves as well.

I agree with the above comment that we need to live each moment as it comes. I am also struggling with this one. It is easy to look back and dwell in the past, and to also worry about the future but if we do this then we are not living the present. It is hard to do especially in the society we live in today, but I try to live each moment to the fullest.

With that thought, I also try to live without getting caught up with material possessions. Yes, we all need money. I work, I pay bills and rent. I need money to live the type of life that I want to live, however, I try to live as minimally as I can. Everything should not be focused around money. I know some people who all they care about is how much money they make and how much stuff they have. I do not want to live like that. As long as I have a roof over my head and food on the table I should be happy. I mean, it is nice to have nice things, but I would rather be filled with the NON-tangible riches of the world rather than the tangible ones.

What is your recipe for life?

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Y'all are just too insightful for me.

I don't think I have a recipe, and if I did, I'd probably forget an ingredient. My life would end up like a bad batch of biscuits.

I'll have to revert to the words of a wise man. OK, it's not a wise man necessarily. OK OK, so it's Jack Palance's character in City Slickers.....whatever!!

"Life comes down to one thing. You just have to figure out what your one thing is. It's different for everybody."

I work hard. I try to not take my husband, my children, my health, or my job for granted. I'm honest. I try really hard to be kind, but sometimes I believe that the kindest thing to do is be brutally honest with a person. I give my kids unconditional love, but it qualifies as "tough love"....they've each been allowed to wallow in the consequences of bad choices.

I realize that there are no dress rehearsals for life, so I try to not put off happiness until my next vacation, or promotion, or end of a project.

Mostly I try to keep my priorities straight, and remember that 95% of things are as relevant as a fart in the wind.

lucille said:

What is your recipe for life?

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My philosophy is DEAL WITH IT. All the planning in the world can't predict the little or big unknowns waiting for you around the corner. Worry about it after it comes, not if it's coming. Too many things can pass you by if you are too busy looking over your shoulder for what's next.

I think everyone who ponders this question natually looks at their own life and tries to determine the good and the bad of it. Was what you did successful? Are you happy with the outcome? Or is it still too early to tell? When branches in your fate were faced, are you happy with the path you took, or do you think the other path would have been better? NOW is the culmination of all of your past decisions.

I think a lot of things will contribute to a successful life (meaning one you are happy with), but looking back at my life I would have to say that the single most beneficial, and influential, aspect of it all, was that I married the person who is also my best friend. No, she is not perfect, but then neither am I. But I know she will always be there when I need her. And that gives me a measure to live up to in her eyes. I need to always be there for her as well. Each of us is willing to give the other the bigger piece of ourselves.

With a life like this, the worst is never as bad as it could be. And the best is always better then if could have been.

So to paraphrase and expand on a quote already made here:

"This, above all, to thine own self be true."

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I say: "This, above all, to the ones you love, be true."

Wow, lots of serious, sincere thoughts listed already. I guess if I had to boil down my "recipe for life" it would go like this: I am always trying to improve. I consider it a good day if I learn something new. I consider it a great day if that new learning has practical application to my life. I enjoy my animals, don't get caught up in whether my house is spotless (far from it LOL) or if my hair is just perfect or if these shoes match this belt or whatever, I pet my dog, cuddle my cats, check my snakes, talk to all of them, and basically just try to keep my little corner of the world as pleasant as I can...until I feel something threatens it. I honestly believe there are things worth fighting for, that is one reason I joined the Army (well, and the college money!) and also why I re-upped once. Tomorrow I start college again, and this time I will finish it. I try to instill this philosophy in my son, in spite of the other influences in his life. Lemme watch "Don Juan de Marco" again, and I will have the quote I am trying to recall.

My Life

For me life is not just an experience, but it is a test of character for a much bigger picture. Sasheena's post pretty much emphasizes the essence of experiencing life, and I agree with it to the "T". Her post should be read and taken as, “Good advice”. Can you actually elaborate on "life" without also discussing self-improvement, role fulfillment, goals, or happiness? I don’t think it’s possible. As we pass through life, I think we must realize our roles, and our gifts and build upon them. In pursuit of the heart's desires, one must emphasize “being true to themselves". After all, you only live once, correct? Life, here, is what you decide to make of it. Happiness is a choice, and so is success and we must deal with our circumstances as they are given. Continuous self-improvement is also a choice. Nobody will do anything for you, and nobody will care if you give up and fail. As we go through life, we should pursue our own self -improvement, our goals and emphasize our gifts relentlessly. When our goals are achieved, they should be fine-tuned. Realizing our gifts, while striving for constant self- improvement is what allows us to celebrate the uniqueness of our identity, and this to me, is only part of what life is also about.

That being said, I think that achievements in life are noble, but in general, so many are petty compared to the bigger picture that is often overlooked. This isn't to discount anything, but all of us will one day die and kneel before God. At that moment you are at "death's door", it's inevitably clear how meaningless all our worldly values are. These worldly items will not be going w/ us when we pass on. And we WILL pass on. On Jan 4th, this year, I had my moment of clarity, and accountability involving myself, a black mamba, and an "extreme near death, out of body, or whatever you want to call it" experience. It's true. I was completely sober, and I can remember everything that happened as clear as a bell. At that moment, I thought about my life, the better than average possibility of losing it, and all I could think about was how I wasn't ready. I also thought about my family. Faced w/ this situation I also wanted to know where I was going afterwards just in case God decided to pull me out of the game. I have always been outspoken about my Faith, but I am not what you would call an “obedient” believer. I’m also not some religious nut job either. It was a moment of Prayer, clarity, humility (like no other), and enlightenment. . Obviously, it wasn’t my time because I was dying. My heart was responding to the strong cardiotoxic component in the venom and it was beating at over 130 bpm before the helicopter landed. I am privileged and blessed to be able to witness events that most individuals don’t get to discuss until after the fact. God is definitely real.

Life isn’t about how much stuff you get, or social status......big pecs, raises, promotions, big pecs, petty conflicts, leopard gecko breedings, cars, big pecs(lol), fishing, nice clothes, or sometimes achievements. To me it's an experience, a test.......one that I choose to be happy in because I'm in it anyway! Happiness is a choice. Life is a gift. Whether you choose to be happy while you are here, that's up to you. During your life, if you can find someone that you love more than yourself and have and raise a family together then you have fulfilled one of life’s causes/noble treasures. The things that we want in life are often the things we identify as mandatory prerequisites to happiness, but yet so often they don’t matter. As we go through life we should always pursue but healthily balance our heart's desires, against savoring what’s truly important. God, Faith, The Word, Love, Kindness, Forgiveness, Empathy, health, Family and each other, that’s what’s truly important.

Ciao!

Sean

PS Also, I know I have said other things that might make this post seem…….uh contradictory. Just take what I say as being a “playful flirt”.

Sean,
1) You have a LOT of insight
2) Stay AWAY from black mambas...

Oh that quote from "Don Juan de Marco" that I couldn't remember: The Four Questions of life:
1) What is sacred?
2) Of what is the spirit made?
3) What is worth living for?
4) What is worth dying for?
The title character of the movie states the answer to all four is the same.

I keep on checking back for the ANSWERS, someone post them please.....

lucille said:

I keep on checking back for the ANSWERS, someone post them please.....

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I just read this thread and I have to say that my chest hurts. The other responses have left me pretty much speechless.

I really have no real idea of what anythign is or really can be and don't try much (lol much) to make my life any different than it is.

I worked at the same job for 11 years, with lots of 2nd and 3rd jobs along the line, when I was younger I thought that money was the key to life, happiness and meaning.

When my grandfather died, without me being there because I was at one of those stupid jobs alot of things changed for me. I found myself without meaning, without any wealth (the kind that matters) and no idea how to go about life. It took me a long time to even go back to work after that, it was the biggest mistake of my life and it cannot be undone.

I now work at home, when I was pregnant with my first child, life had a different meaning and I wanted to be safe, careful and at home. I planned to go back to work ASAP after he was born, but he was not healthy and had surgery at 5 weeks and I then realized I could have lost him. When a sergeon looks at you and says, "We either do this now and he has a 50/50 chance to make it or we do nothing and he dies", it really changes everything.

I now live for every single minute I have, if my dad isn't feeling well, we go spend the day with him, if its obvious my mom is in a bad mood we wait for her to go to lunch and leave her an adorable voice message at work.

Sure Id have a ton more if Id of gone back to work and my children would have "more stuff" if I had gone back to work, but Id never be able to get back all the moments I get now by being a lot less wealthy but a lot more caring.

I think things happen to us for a reason and unfortunately they are not always good things, but they can create happy endings.

I think you are very wise about life. Living each day for what it is, is something we knew as children, but then many adults lose that capacity as they hurry to get this or that done, or worry about stuff they cannot change.

That is not to say we should not plan for the future, of course that is important; but each day is a gift to be appreciated and lived.....

Ahhh Lucille, I think your insignt and good questions just bring out the best in me and alot of other people too!

Wendy, I think the 'best in you' is always there; and has always been there. Your excellent posts and kind nature have contributed to your popularity; but while many of us like you and want you to do well, in the final analysis it is your own positive behavior that is the reason for your good reputation.

Not recipe, more philosophy.....

Be yourself. Be the strongest, most confident, honorable, satified, loving/lovable, happiest you that you can be. Be large. Be visible. Be heard.

Follow you heart AND your head. Follow your feet too....sometimes they know where to go when your heart and head fail you.

Try to make others happy with out hurting yourself. When anothers happiness causes more hurt than hapiness let them GO.

Don't allow others to believe non truths about you. Even if the non truth makes them happy. Honesty hurts, but lies hurt more.

Love your children as much as you love yourself. They are just as important.

If it doesn't like you you don't need it. You don't need much. Food, clothing, shelter, love. Want is what causes the headaches. Deal with your want, because often it is better to want than to have. Once you have what you want you will find something else to want. This is not satisfying. Only get what you want if you understand that it will not stop the wanting.

Don't look for answers in material possessions......not even books. Use your brain.

Standing up for yourself can be done flat on your back. Let them knock you down.....it doesn't hurt much and you may learn something. Also, the view is different from the floor. Sometimes it's better

Lastly, there is always tomorrow. Even if you die there will still be a tomorrow. Someone will remember you tomorrow no matter what.

What do you want to be remembered as? You cannot control how others view you, but you can influence them. There are people out there who think they know me and have no bloody damn clue who I am. There are other people who know who I am and I think they don't. Do they think well of me? I think so. Do I care how they see me? Some of them yes and others no. Will it matter when I'm gone? It will matter to someone.

I will always matter to someone.

lucille said:

Wendy, I think the 'best in you' is always there; and has always been there. Your excellent posts and kind nature have contributed to your popularity; but while many of us like you and want you to do well, in the final analysis it is your own positive behavior that is the reason for your good reputation.

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Its always there yes, just hard to find and see sometimes. I have tried to be a lot less selfish with my time and be more of a asset to fauna and its members, being selfish doesn't help anyone not even the one being that way.