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Looking for hope, strength and wisdom...

Chris Steele

Chris Steele

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I know this forum says 18+ now, but I really need some words from some people who may have been through this before.

I am a seventeen year old guy and I just broke up with my 7 month girlfriend. I just couldn't be happy in the relationship, it's not that I don't like her, I still want to be close friends and all, but the relationship was just keeping me depressed all the time and I couldn't figure out what to do. I'd been thinking about it for a couple weeks. I just need to know if I'm doing the right thing. I feel really relieved that I've done it now, but I feel so sorry for her because she says she has nothing left without me and she was crying so much. Am I doing the right thing?

Thanks for any help.
 
I can't stand to hurt people and it's eating at me. I don't know what to do. I like her, I just can't be happy while I'm with her for the past month or so.
 
Chris,
Ifeel for you. It is good that you are honest with your feelings and realize that you do not feel good while you are with this person. Each relationship gives us something, and teaches us something; perhaps reflection will bring the reason that you did not continue with the relationship, and that will help strengthen future relationships.

I admire you for looking into and attempting to analyze what happened, because I believe thought and work build the capacity to form better relationships.

BTW yes the LH forum is 18+, I moved your thread here but there are many, many wise people who visit this forum also.

I am hoping for you, an easy recovery: breakups are difficult to go through. I know she is sad also, but you are responsible for your own feelings, and for assuring that your behavior is decent and kind; sometimes sorrow is appropriate and you must just let people grieve. If it seems completely out of proportion, you could have a talk with your parents and perhaps they could call her parents, in case she needs help
 
For what it is worth, I think that it is important to make the break than to let things linger.

When I was in college one of my roommates used to drive me crazy. She was dating this guy and she realized it wasn't going to work, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings so she kept not breaking up with him. He was getting crazier and crazier for her, she disliked him more and more but didn't want to hurt him. When she finally did break it off with him he tried to kill both of them. (Very strange story). I always felt that while he was looney toons, she could have avoided a lot of the ensuing drama by being up front with him in the end.

So I think it's always best when you know it's not the right thing to take the courage to state your situation and break things off.

Of course it's very easy for me to give advice now that I'm no longer dating and have been happily married for 4 years.
 
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