I'm done
 

Sorry for the forthcoming bitching folks but over the past couple weeks I have been in a real, real dark place (that’ll probably be another thread). That coupled with some recent events I need to vent before I snap (which still may happen but hopefully lessened by venting). While the following is minor it was straw 6,7,8 and 9 out of the 12 that collectively broke the camel’s back.

Well, as the thread title says, I’m done. No more Mr. Nice Guy. It’s not worth the aggravation and disappointment that follows. I go out of my way to help others and I end up on the short end of the stick. Be it loaning someone money, extending them credit, setting them up in breeding from construction of a reptile room, building a rack system to breeding projects, trying to help them get their business up and running or bailing them out of jail (to name a few instances recently) I end up moving 5 steps backwards while they move forward. Oh sure, there appears to be gratitude (be it real or not I guess I’ll never know) before, during and briefly after the help but when it comes time to repay what is owed I get little to none and as I said, I’m done.

Just yesterday alone I had two friends tell me they would be getting me the money they owed me and I got nothing, zip, nada, zilch. It’s not the money (yay! Top Ramen soup week) really but hell, when I have someone who tells me they are my friend and I can’t even be given the common courtesy of a phone call to let me know they aren’t/weren’t going to meet as planned, or even return the call I made (actually I have received a call since I started writing this but I need time to process it) or respond to the e-mail I sent (again, just got that and it too needs processing), why should I bother anymore? I’ve been told to “sue me”, ignored completely, lied to, lied about and I have talked to more voice mails then I care to count. The good feeling I get when I help someone is over shadowed by the disappointment that follows. It’s like having sex and then getting kicked in the balls (sometimes repeatedly) afterwards. Again I ask, why should I bother? Would you? I think it’s time to take my bruised balls and become a hermit and leave helping others out to some other poor bastard.

Though, I’m now guessing the masochist I must be, I’ve said this time and time again and yet I still go out of my way time and time again to help someone and then find myself saying to myself, “self, why in the hell do you continue to do this?” I can’t find the answer and I’m not sure it would even matter anyhow. I say this daily and I’m pretty sure every single one of you who reads this has probably have already said the following once or twice this weekend too, PEOPLE SUCK! There seems to be no way around it. I’m just sick of the disappointment after helping someone out.

So I guess in closing this bitch fest, it would not be a good time for anyone to ask any favors of me. DO NOT ENABLE ME!

You are a good person and it is a pleasure to know you. You can still be a good person, just don't lend people stuff.


Here, Shakespeare said it better:

Yet here, Laertes? Aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,(60)
And you are stay'd for. There, my blessing with thee.
And these few precepts in thy memory
See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.(65)
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel; but being in,(70)
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;(75)
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous, chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;

For loan oft loses both itself and friend,(80)

And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell. My blessing season this in thee!

Been saying it for years.

That's why I got my critters. :thumbsup:

Brother if you need anything just let me know. Even if it is just to hang out and vent.

Thanks but it goes beyond lending people stuff. Besides if I'm going to make the change I might as well stop doing all the things that cause me more grief and disappointment then anything else. When I get responses like "Okay, I didnt call. My bad... Its happens.." why should I bother helping anyone with anything, ever? The inconsideration I receive(d) is not only only unwarrented but unwanted as well. I'm going to be like everyone else it seems and have a good time no matter who gets hurt or screwed along the way. My new motto will be as long as I am happy the hell with everyone else. Seems to be working for others.

Thanks Brother but I'm not one to ask for anything. I have and will go without before asking anyone for anything. Again, thanks though.

Man, you weren't kidding about having bad days...I really am sorry to hear it, Dave.
I know that taking comfort in the fact that YOU are a good guy might not be what you want to hear at this point, since that's what seems to have gotten you into this mess, but it seems to be true from where I stand. I hope you feel better for getting it off your chest--I know venting (or getting on my soapbox) always makes me feel better!
On an up-note, have you tried the creamy chicken Ramen-type noodles? They are awesome..................................Yeah, I eat 'em and I AM NOT ASHAMED!

You don't have to let other people take advantage of you, and it's good to be able to draw limits so that they can't.

You've always been a good person and concerned and empathetic towards those who are troubled. Shedding that, will that make you happy, grasshopper?

Not really especially when my friend belittles my disappointment in their lack of common courtesy. I honestly believe our friendship would have been better off had I left their inconsiderate ungrateful ass in jail for the holiday weekend versus bailing them out. Yeah, I'm the bad guy for being disappointed after getting blown off. Well, I have a way to make sure it won't happen ever again, NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!!!!

Since most folks don't know me from Adam I will give you a little look into the mind of Dave (yes, I know it is scary but be brave). When I was younger I worked in a restaurant. One day I (actually not me but some idiot who worked with me) got hot oil in my eye and I had to get taken to the emergency room. Well after being treated my eye patch wearing butt was being driven home and I said pull over. There were two elderly ladies having troubles with a flat tire. I changed their tire and refused the money they wanted to give me. That is me then and was me up until this past weekend. I don't need kudos or a pat on the back. I do/did things to help someone out and do/did so without expecting or wanting anything in return other than the promised repayment. But don't sit there and tell me you are grateful and then completely blow me off and then have the audacity to make me out to be the bad guy because YOU disappointed me. So to beat that damn horse just a little more, why should I bother anymore?

Never tried it nor have I even seen it. I'm not sure they carry it up here. I'll have to really look the next time I hit the grocery.

Yeah well, in order to make sure the line is not crossed by anyone it has to be uncrossable because any sign of charity seems to be treated as weakness and I'm done being taken advantage of.

Right now I am guessing that yes it will make me happy, or at least happier than having my feelings trivialized after being taken advantage of.

I know the frustrations you speak of very well David. Been there too many times myself. Been "done" with it a number of times also. I'm always getting crapped on for helping people out.

Problem is, we need to be who we are. To say to hell with it, and I ain't doing it anymore, will only make you just as aggravated, if not more so, but in a different way. If helping people out is who you are, then you shouldn't change that.

Best you can do is remember the ones who brought you to this state of mind, and don't help THEM any more.

Anyway, from someone who's been there many times....:beer: