Hi all. New here. Out in the middle of nowhere with pretty much no friends, so didn't really know what to do to talk about what's going on or how to vent.
I'm 27, and have been in about 3 serious relationships that lasted 2+ years with the significant other male living in my home with me. After the first one ended because of my heavy involvement with horses and horse shows, I made it very abundantly clear to the next serious prospect that animals come first in my life and always will. They will always have food before I do, if it comes down to it. Thankfully, it never has. The second relationship ended because of money/animals/job relocation/him wanting to be a "swinger", long story - but I have been involved with my current boyfriend for 2 years. I was very up front with him when we got together, about my horse plans, snake plans, etc. I do have a lot of animals, but I have my own large, nice home and a relatively good, stable job. I do have a lot of debt but the house always has food, the electricity has never been turned off, I've never been late on a mortgage. My boyfriend works as a kennel tech at a local vet hospital, and that helps with the vet discount for the cats/dogs/etc, but he makes very little money and I understand that. That being so, he pays for electricity and phone bills, and helps with horse feed and groceries when possible.
Lately we had a bunch of things go wrong with the house that needed repairs that we can't afford. His car desperately needs replaced, my truck had some repairs needed, and a few other things. I've been trying to sell snakes and/or trade them for projects without any luck.
The snake thing has always been my deal, and he got into it when we got together. He's been to two Daytona shows with me, got into the western hognose stuff and last time insisted he needed Leopard Geckos. I've always talked about my projects, the genetics, what it will mean when I have double hets - etc, and have always been open about my plans and he has always been supportive - until yesterday. I guess it started because I did a trade for 9 more baby corn snakes , and then I did another trade where I had to pull $75 out of savings to complete the trade. When i first told him I did this, he was okay with it, and then he had huge problems with it. He started freaking out about feeding the snakes I would be breeding, and the new ones. The discussion continued...and then I guess the truth came out?
He said had he known that I was going to be breeding snakes like this, he never would have started to date me or move in with me. He said if I breed snakes this season, he's leaving. He also believes "we" should sell my horses. He literally said he believes he is "suffering" because of my animals. I was very flabbergasted...especially considering before we started dating, he was living on my cousin's futon, barely working 20 hours a week and was so skinny he looked anorexic because he couldn't afford to eat every day. In the past 2 years, I've bought him Wii/Ps3, a custom built $700 computer...clothes..etc...I just don't understand how he thinks he is suffering because of the animals?
So...1. We aren't married 2. He is much younger than me. 3. I cannot afford to buy him the things he wants (car, extreme dental work, etc), even if I hadn't spent the $75 on a snake trade. 4. He has no desire to go to school or get a better job to make the financial strain a little easier.
I do love him very much, and I've thought this whole time how lucky I was to have finally met someone who values the animals and loves them as much as I do, but now it's all falling to pieces. I don't even know what to say
Sorry to ramble on and on.