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Having read all the texts back and forth, what the OP received was admittedly not what she bought. The "bad business" comes into play because apparently the seller has no standards about shipping an animal that isn't well-established and has a real chance of dying during transit.
Can't use the excuse that Jeremy's brother did it and not him, it was allowed to be done from Jeremy's business. I think it's unethical to ask the buyer to ship back a baby that small if there's a good chance of it not making the trip.
Refund. If you have her wait until it's big enough to ship back, that's time, effort, and resources that the OP has now put into that baby that she'll never get reimbursed for.
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