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James Bear
My Brothers Final Bite
As with the first two bites, my brother understood the dangers involved dealing with his passion. On January 24th I received a text message from my wife asking me to call her ASAP. I was teaching in Albuquerque at the time and received a second text informing me that my brother had been bit by a snake. I called my brothers wife and she said my brother had died but was brought back through shocking his heart. I felt in my gut that this was not good. I called my wife and she was on her way to the hospital to be by my brother’s side. He was being flown by helicopter from Deming, New Mexico to El Paso, Texas. I immediately left my work driving the 4hr trip to try and get to my brother. My sister was in Phoenix when she was notified and she was on her way as well. When I reached the hospital and met up with my wife and sister, I saw my brother in ICU hooked on different machines.
My brother was swollen from the bite but not as bad as he was on the first bites and that was sort of a relief. My brother was on a ventilator to assist him with his breathing. He was initiating only 4 to 5 breaths on his own. While standing by my brother’s side, I held his hand and rubbed his forehead telling him to pull through this. I knew deep in my heart that as the doctor cautioned my brother on his last bite, he would probably not make it through this bite.
As the minutes and hours went by we began to have hope that he may battle through this, because he would move his thumb and his respiration would increase as we talked to him. Our hope was yet again shattered when the next morning the Doctor came in to assess my brothers condition in dong so she opened one of my brothers eye to check for a response and the only response was he began to posture. This is when the extremities of your body quickly withdraw inward in a curling motion. The Doctor informed us that she did not get any response from his eyes and that was not good. As the minutes and hours continued to pass us by my brother was still unresponsive to our voices and touch. Through the many tubes and IV’s my brother was in our eyes still with us.
A day came when the Doctors informed us that the state in which we now see our brother was the best he would get. The doctors gave him less than 1% chance of doing anything. My brother would never speak, open his eyes, laugh, talk, or move in anyway. The doctor said that due to him going into anaphylactic shock his brain was deprived of oxygen for a period of time. Technically the only part of my brother that was working on his own was the brain stem. My brother kidneys were failing, the liver was shutting down, and his breathing was not adequate on his own. The family was faced with a decision to leave my brother in his present state or to remove him from the life support.
The doctors said that he could be kept alive as long as he was on a ventilator. But what is life if he could not and would never see his own children, touch a guitar, hear the joys of the Holidays, taste a cold coke, smell the fresh air in the mountains. My brother had conveyed his wishes before he was silenced, that do not leave him as he was, let me go. The day came when we had to release the angel that was trapped. When all the artificial life support was removed, the rise and fall of his chest was no more. I held his hand and felt the strong pounding of his heart. As the heart rate decreased I squeezed his hand harder. Within minutes my brother had become my angel.
The Nurses and Doctors took care of my brother knowing that the end result was he would pass. Words can not express the extreme thoughtfulness and compassion from the nursing staff in the ICU. This was a feeling that touched our heart in more ways than we could ever express. The ICU staff made the situation easier, not to say that death can ever be easy, but from the comfort of the ICU staff we know they cared for my brother as well.
My brother was a very active person, his smile would light up a room and his humor could be felt for days. My brother had gone through many hard times in his short 37 years. We almost lost him twice when he was a child due to asthma. My brother lost everything he owned in a house fire. My brother lived life like he wanted. I admired his talents of painting, playing the guitar, his writing of songs and his way with words. I don’t think he ever knew how much my sister and I really looked up to him, our baby brother.
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