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Well you don't have enough options for me to place a vote on the poll.
But I think if the buyer wants the male then you should pay for shipping on both snakes since it was your fault. But I don't think you owe him anything extra. You are just trying to make this right.
If the buyer wants to keep the female then I think it's a done deal and he owes you nothing. It's not his fault that you shipped him the wrong snake. Sometimes as a seller you have to take the hit on your mistake.
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