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since the males are smaller in size than females i think i better have my focus on a male and i kind of like the sunfire albino lavender retics. they are pretty and i know their not a dwarf but would you say as it got older and i limited the food intake( i don't mean starving it to death lol ) that i could keep it at a managable size?
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Yes - it is possible to keep retics (especially males) at a manageable size without stunting them or starving them. Still it would be best to find one that is at least 50% super dwarf.
Generally people grow their snakes slower - the snakes actually tend to be healthier and live longer. Still in most case the snakes are feed one meal per week(for the 1st year), a rodent that is slightly larger than the thickest part of the snake's body. The feeding schedule can be lengthened to about once per 10 days for the 2nd year, and about once every 14 days for the 3rd year and beyond. The exception to this - when gearing up for breeding, at which time - the food schedule should be increased to once per week.
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but in general stunting by lower feeding with snakes is only poor for the snake and they will generally reach max adult size over time regardless.
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Actually - that is not the case at all. In fact the largest pure mainland retics (23+ feet, over 300 lbs) rarely live to be 20 years old. And to get them that big it takes them being feed as much food as they want for at least a decade or more, to get them to that size.
Healthy retics - be they - pure mainlands, dwarfs, super dwarfs or some combination there of, should always be slim, trim, with very good muscle tone, and very active snakes, which at the full adult size are about average for their species.
You really need to check out the videos by Prehistoric Pets(Jay Brewer), & Reach Out Reptiles (Garrett Hartle).