"In the interest of cost savings and environmental responsibility, USPS has offered the new 'scenic route' shipping service. For a low flat rate price, your package will be placed on the next USPS truck that isn't full, going anywhere. When it gets there, it will be placed on the next truck with room, going anywhere. When your package eventually gets to your regional facility, it will be placed on whatever local carrier's truck has room and will be delivered to your address, or one on your block.
Sending something more time sensitive than canned goods or fossil-bearing rocks? Try one of our other services:
Priority Express -- when overnight would be cool, but no problem if it get there later.
Priority Mail -- not really priority when there's a faster service, but we couldn't think of a better name.
USPS Ground Advantage -- our slowest non-specialty service. Whose advantage? You ask too many questions.
Media Mail -- want to ship 16mm films? Player piano rolls? Or do you just miss the
good old days of 1938? Select media mail -- it's the next best thing to the Pony Express!
First Class Mail -- we wanted to call this "steerage class mail" but Congress wasn't having it."
In all seriousness, I get good service from my local USPS, sincerely. Those folks on the ground take a lot of flak and keep on keeping on.