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I believe it comes down to ownership. Who really "owns" your actions? Too many people want to come up with the excuse that they behave they way they do because it was how they were raised. Or, I did this to you because your made me feel this way.
The fact of the matter is, and fortunately for me I learned this early on, I own my behavior. Nobody here can make me behave in a certain way. You cannot make me react in a certain way. I, and only I, can choose how I will respond to a person or situation.
In the case of the situation, we can be as heavy handed as we need to be in order to get across a specific point to the offender. However, until that person owns their behavior they will never be able to change it.
I don't mean to pick on Laura but since she offered up her history here, I will use her. She is a recovering addict. She is "recovering" because she came to the understanding that it was her and only her who could pour that bottle down her mouth. She owned her behavior and therefore empowered herself to change. Something in which I commend you deeply for Laura!
Then, on the other hand, is my brother. He's 35 years of age and should be picking out his prison clothes real soon. He has always chosen the path of least resistance and has always made it a habit to blame others for his actions. He will now have to sit in a courtroom while I sit next to the judge and tell him my story. About how my brother blamed my 6 year old son for making my brother steal my son's PSP over this past Christmas. After all, it was my son's fault for working as hard as he did to earn it. John felt inferior to my son so therefore my son deserved to lose the PSP (it's a $400 handheld game).
That type of person will never change until they own their actions. And, for these type of people, I will not give you a second chance until years have gone by. I will not put myself in a situation where you have to ask yourself what is the difference between right and wrong. I will not allow you the privilege of taking my money.
So, to answer your question. Yes, they can change. But the effort to change will not be anywhere near as great as the effort it will take to make me change my mind about them. Fool me once.......
Griz
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