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Originally Posted by A_Kendergirl
Yes porn can be an addiction, just as alcohol can be. It can ruin lives when the person isn't in control. But just like alcohol is ok every now and then to the person not addicted, so is porn. Wait..lemme guess...you don't drink alcohol either?
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You are correct. I do not drink, do drugs or smoke. It's a treacherous road that they lead you down. I see you skipped over my numerous points but I won't do you the same discourtesy. I will address yours point by point.
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Originally Posted by A_Kendergirl
As to #4 in your list, I have no illusions as to when he's looking, but plenty of women do. But, just and you're comfortable in your relationship without porn, we are comfortable in ours with it. While I haven't been with him as long as you've been with your wife, I do feel 9 years is quite a statement.
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Shanti, when you are a bit older and therefore wiser, I do not doubt that you will look back on this time with some serious questions. You and your spouse are traveling down a road that will get you where? Just wait, the simple bedroom scene will soon not be enough, for him anyways.
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Originally Posted by A_Kendergirl
And for #5, you have a SERIOUS problem if you're going into debt over porn. With the amount that is out there for FREE, you'd almost have to try getting into debt. I don't have the number of dollars we've spent over the years, but I can say with confidence that it's under $100. A few friends I have spend that in a year, do I think they have a problem? Nope.
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Yet millions upon millions do go into debt soley due to porn and their inability to control themselves. So, I ask you why you would even WANT to travel down a road that has led to the demise of so many people? Why would you allow that into your household? You have yet to answer that questions. Nobody has.
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Originally Posted by A_Kendergirl
I think you are blowing the dangers of porn way out proportion. I'm willing to guess that the number of people out there that actually have a serious problem are about the same as the number of people that have problems with alcohol....or any other "common" addiction. Like I've said in previous posts the relationship problems are caused by the dishonesty....and that is something the person controls, not the porn.
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And I think you are underestimated the effects pornography has on people and our society. My opinion is backed up by tens of thousands of studies. Yours is based upon what? Your own relationship. Again, your relationship is probably not statistically significant as you are only 26. It takes time to take it's toll on a marriage. It will take it's toll on yours. Statistics back that up.
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Originally Posted by A_Kendergirl
And in case you weren't aware not EVERYONE is religious and has religious qualms about porn. That's a whole other issue entirely. But then again, look at all the "religious" people that sleep around (much more destructive than porn), steal, kill people, etc....the hypocrisy is not limited to watching porn. But, again, that's neither here nor there.....and I enjoyed the conversation/debate much more before religion entered (it only serves to obscure things, and isn't a standard that applies to everyone).
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Trust me, you cannot spend any amount of time on the internet with that allusion. I never brought religion up, Nicolai did. But I will respond when someone wants to walk down that path. I agree, Christians do more to harm their religion then anything else.
Shanti, as I said in my previous posting, if you are going to participate then educate yourself first on the FACTS. Do not base your opinions upon what you feel which is obviously what you are doing. You BELIEVE that porn is not wrong because it is something you and your husband currently enjoy. You do not BELIEVE it is ok because of statistics, or facts, or case studies. Rather, it is all about how you FEEL, and you FEEL good when watching it. Hmmmm...isn't that one of the dangers I listed above about Pornography? It gives you allusions of grandeur.
Be careful Shanti, as it still befuddles me why you would want to let another woman into your bed and that is EXACTLY what you are doing.
Griz