Doctors Are Sharing Their Stupidest And Funniest Patient Stories - FaunaClassifieds
FaunaClassifieds  
 Sponsors »  Breeders | Dealers |  Importers/Exporters | Caging | Feed | Supplies | Services | Events 
  Inside FaunaClassifieds » Product Reviews |  Classifieds!   | Photo Gallery   | Banner Advertising 
 
  Want to help support this site? Click here.

Go Back   FaunaClassifieds > General Interest Forums > Just For Laughs

Notices

Just For Laughs The SOLE purpose of this forum is to put a smile on the face of a person reading the messages. Anything of a SERIOUS nature will either be deleted or moved out of here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-05-2017, 02:04 PM   #1
JColt
Doctors Are Sharing Their Stupidest And Funniest Patient Stories

When you’re a doctor each day is full of challenges you can’t predict. People come in with various problems and attitudes and you always have to be ready to help them no matter what. Even if their “problems” make you wanna fall of the chair with laughter.

The some of the medical stories below, told by both the doctors and the patients, are so silly, it’s hard to believe they’ve actually happened, while the others will help you realize how grateful you should be for your parents and teachers, who actually took time to inform you about how your body works. Thanks to them you might have avoided a hugely embarrassing story.

(h/t boredpanda)

#1

Guy comes into the emergency department via Ambulance with burns on his lower extremities. His shoes are charred and the bottoms of his pants are definitely burned away but his skin isn’t so bad. He had been trying to use a propane-powered weed burner in his yard (think flame thrower) and things got a little out of control. I smelled alcohol on his breath so I asked the guy if he had been drinking and he looked me directly in the eye and said, “Nooooo”. I got drunk just standing next to him. It was a once in a lifetime set up and I couldn’t help myself. As straight faced and professionally as possible I said, “Sir…liar, liar, pants on fire”. The paramedics all turned at once and ran out of the room they were laughing so hard! The patient just stared at me. He was so drunk it went totally over his head.



#2

Surgeon here. Was doing varicose veins surgery on a very posh middle aged lady. Very cut class accent. There was an anaesthetic that we used that sometimes induced some hallucinations either going under or coming out of anaesthesia and heard some funny things.
Anyway this lady was in recovery just coming out of the anaesthetic. The team were around waiting for her to wake up and gag a little on the tube in her throat (for breathing) so we knew it was time to remove it. She gagged, we removed the tube, she smacked her lips and said loudly, in her incredible accent:
‘That’s the best bit of c*ck I have had in years!’
The whole recovery room just fell about laughing. Luckily she didn’t remember it.



#3

As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky.
“You remind me of my third husband,” she said coyly.
“Third husband?” I asked. “How many have you had?”
“Two.”


#4

When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. But my doctor knew how to calm me down.
“Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. “I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.”



#5

When I came out from having my wisdom teeth pulled I apparently shot up, looked at the doctor and said “Charlatan! I demand you return my teeth! They are mine and I will choose where they are to be spent!” My dad said he couldn’t stop laughing because I wouldn’t leave without them. When I woke up at home I asked my dad why my teeth were in a plastic bag on the table, he told me everything and promptly started calling me Lord Molar for the rest of the night.


#6

“Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. “The bathroom’s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom.
“Thanks,” he says, returning the empty container. “But there was a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.”



#7

Was at a urologist in a hospital and there were a couple of power cuts. Lights dipped out, generators kicked in.
As he’s finishing the examination, mid-sentence, the lights go out again. He gets up and walks out to check on things.
Fifteen minutes later I’m still sat on the bed with my old chap out and pants around my ankles. A nurse walks past the open door and does one of those comedy double-takes.
“….do you…do you have an appointment?”
Turns out the doc had actually finished the examination, and returned to the ward some 15 minutes ago. To the nurse I was just some guy who had walked in and pulled his pants down and left the door open.


#8

Not a doctor, but my human sexuality professor in grad school had some interesting stories. He worked a lot in very conservative Christian communities and so a lot of times people got married with no sex education. One couple was in therapy because neither one of them enjoyed sex or ever had an orgasm. After having them talk through step by step what they did in bed, he learned the guy was just sticking it in and nothing else. He told the guy to move back and forth next time and see what happened. They couple came back one more time to say “THANK YOU!!!!!” and didn’t need any more sessions.


#9

My patient announced she had good news … and bad. “The medicine for my earache worked,” she said.
“What’s the bad news?” I asked.
“It tasted awful.”
Since she was feeling better, I didn’t have the heart to tell her they’re called eardrops for a reason.



#10

I asked a female patient with dementia what year it is. She said, “Oh, my, no, that’s far too personal to discuss in polite company. A nice young lady like you shouldn’t be concerned with such things.”
I didn’t bother pointing out that I’m not a lady. I figured if she didn’t notice the beard, then she wasn’t going to understand an explanation either.
 

Join now to reply to this thread or open new ones for your questions & comments! FaunaClassifieds.com is the largest online community about Reptile & Amphibians, Snakes, Lizards and number one classifieds service with thousands of ads to look for. Registration is open to everyone and FREE. Click Here to Register!

 
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Pics of the patient SPJ Iguanas & Monitors Discussion Forum 3 12-16-2010 12:15 PM
New Patient SPJ General Discussions 2 12-31-2009 09:38 AM
The patient SPJ Ball Pythons Discussion Forum 12 04-23-2008 09:30 AM
Doctors!!!! techgirl SOUND OFF!!! 15 10-15-2006 07:23 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:08 AM.




Ebates Coupons and Cash Back



TESTING!
Fauna Top Sites


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Page generated in 0.02884102 seconds with 11 queries
Content copyrighted ©2002-2014, FaunaClassifieds, LLC