Why must things be Sugar coated?

It is sometimes a fine line between straight talk and Jerry Springer, but it is a tangible one.

Why do people LIKE to be in a sugar coated protective shell when they are members of forums online? This forum has a reputation, everyone knows it, but i dont think its a BAD one, so much as a "you need to have thick skin to play over in THAT sandbox!" ( which i personally think is a good thing, you know people wont be fake towards you, and will tell you straight up) This forum is also known for its WEALTH of information, and its many extremely experienced members. And Is also known for its members ability to root out the scumbags of this hobby and warn those of us, who otherwise would not know better. Why would people choose to be in a protective happy eggshell over something like Fauna? I just wonder. Feel free to respond, or not. Answer, or pose another question. I dont mind.... But it would be interesting to see some of the members different responses. I LOVE fauna, i love what it stands for and i love the people.

I think, in many cases, it isn't that people want to be in a sugar protective shell so to speak. I think it is more that most people like to be active posters at a place where they feel comfortable making a post without worry of being ridiculed or insulted. I'm not saying that all the active posters on Fauna make personal attacks or belittle others, but that type of behavior does seem to happen here on a regular basis.

Freedom of expression is a great thing on any forum, and intelligent discussion should be encouraged. But threads that deteriorate into knock down drag out exchanges of insults and trolling are not worthwhile for many people, that kind of stuff is a turn off. Of course it is going to happen on any forum, but good moderation can make this uncommon. So I guess what I am trying to say is that personally I enjoy the freedom of expression here on Fauna (I like the site or I would not bother to come here) but I do not enjoy seeing people constantly get ridiculed. That has been common here for quite a few years and it just brings this place down and has caused many people to participate less and less.

No, I'm not going to kill off the freedom of expression here. Just the members who take it to extremes to the detriment of everyone else. I'm tired of being embarrassed that I run this joint. So it can either shape up, or I'm pulling the plug.

That's good news.

The thing about sugar coating is.....there's usually a reason for it.

Often, something that needs to be sugarcoated to be swallowed is much more bitter than things that aren't, when you get right down to it.

I do agree that sometimes people get carried away here. However I love this site. I come here first when I am looking for first hand info and just to browse around.

Although other sites claim to be "more friendly" I can tell you I have seen the mob mentality way more there than here. I would rather be here where people can have there own opinions.

Why do people LIKE to be in a sugar coated protective shell when they are members of forums online?

So they don't get kicked off???

Originally Posted by MauiMoon

So they don't get kicked off???

Thats not quite the meaning of what i wrote. Though, people might sugar coat things to NOT get kicked off, sure, that id get. But its not my intended question.

People are too sensitive. I think. And i dont get why they like everything to be said super nicely to them. I think its pretty cheesy actually.

I like to be told when im wrong, or when im being bothersome, or... if something is a stupid idea or whatever. So long as you are being truthful.

Think im doing something wrong? tell me. Dont glaze it over with "oh this is alright, and its not too bad" Thats cheese. i dont need that. Say what you mean. Just because someone says something straightforward, and bluntly does not mean they are being a big ole MEANIE to me!
I like people to be able to be who they are towards me without worrying about if they MIGHT hurt my feelings. So thats why i dont get why other people need that fluff.


( the obvious answer to some of this is... not everyone is going to be thick skinned, But i sure as hell wish they were. )

Originally Posted by KelliH

I think, in many cases, it isn't that people want to be in a sugar protective shell so to speak. I think it is more that most people like to be active posters at a place where they feel comfortable making a post without worry of being ridiculed or insulted. I'm not saying that all the active posters on Fauna make personal attacks or belittle others, but that type of behavior does seem to happen here on a regular basis.

Freedom of expression is a great thing on any forum, and intelligent discussion should be encouraged. But threads that deteriorate into knock down drag out exchanges of insults and trolling are not worthwhile for many people, that kind of stuff is a turn off. Of course it is going to happen on any forum, but good moderation can make this uncommon. So I guess what I am trying to say is that personally I enjoy the freedom of expression here on Fauna (I like the site or I would not bother to come here) but I do not enjoy seeing people constantly get ridiculed. That has been common here for quite a few years and it just brings this place down and has caused many people to participate less and less.

Youve made really great points.

But i dont see why someone cant feel comfortable in a place where... well... people might be a bit more honest. Dosnt it make something work out better in the long run? I can see necessary tact and such, but to a degree. Some people need a couple kicks in the shins to get the idea in some respect. You know what i mean? sort of? Anyway... Tact definitely is needed.

Like for instance... and this helps with what im trying to say i suppose... is there are some sites out there that also do NOT approve of even a negative comment about a user. Say you had a bad transaction.... and a member of that forum was scamming people... wouldnt you want everyone to know??? But no... people delete the posts, and pretend nothing ever happened. I mean... Come on.

When does the nicey nicey end, and where does reality kick in?

Originally Posted by The BoidSmith

The problem is some people think freedom of expression is being able to say whatever they like in whichever circumstance which is a falacy.

I agree...
I think freedom of expression has limits. There are plenty of ways to say what you want to say, without degrading the quality of what is said, or the other person.

For the most part, I see PASSION, and not necessarily mean spiritedness. Although we find quite a bit of mean spirited passion on the BOI, most of the other sub-forums here are for the most part friendly. I think the ability for members here to let there passion shine through is one of the best qualities here on Fauna. I also think the mods do a pretty good job curtailing most negative posting before it goes too far (with the exception of some extra freedom on the BOI).

When I see members calling each other out for poor husbandry or ethics, I think about the other sites I've seen where people post pics of their animals in obviously sub-optimal conditions...to put it mildly...only to get no responses or "nice snake...have you had any problems with the housing?", after which the subject is dropped. For me, that's a huge draw.

Originally Posted by captnemo

When I see members calling each other out for poor husbandry or ethics, I think about the other sites I've seen where people post pics of their animals in obviously sub-optimal conditions...to put it mildly...only to get no responses or "nice snake...have you had any problems with the housing?", after which the subject is dropped. For me, that's a huge draw.

THAT is a HUGE thing for me! Im glad someone else mentioned this!

There are SO many places out there that people will post pictures of... not just an old shed or urate or something ( Everyone that keeps snakes knows you dont ALWAYS get to that stuff right away! it dosnt mean your animals are kept sub par at all. ) or an enclosure that dosnt quite meet YOUR standards , but im talking FILTHY caging, and Horrible stuck sheds and get comments like you said, and then nothing happens. Where do standards get set?

What if people have tried comments like you said, to nicely point out caging, and their posts dont change? what then? It bothers me.