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1 Can stop and ask for directions when lost.
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No need, I never get lost. Or, on occasion I take accidental...I...I mean
planned scenic detours (what?...then the women can't complain that we don't spend enough time together...).
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2 ALWAYS puts the toilet seat back down.....
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Why use the toilet for that when there's a perfectly good sink
(my "mythical" woman would always leave the toilet seat
up).
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3 Is not afraid to say "I love you" in public.
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I can't do that otherwise I'd loose street cred, yo
.
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4 Knows how to cook gourmet meals, does so without complaining, cleans up afterwards, and still has the energy to give an incredible massage (along with whatever else that might lead to.)
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Are you looking for a servant or a significant other?
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5 Actaully hears AND understands what you said before saying uh huh
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If I cant understand what you're saying then that's on you....and, if I don't answer with at least "uh huh" then I'm "ignoring" you. Its a no win...uh huh
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6 Never gives an affirmative answer when you ask if a particular pair of jeans makes you look fat.....
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This is one of those times when blindly saying "uh huh" is dangerous.
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7 Has the ability to do laundry without turning any of it funny colors or shrinking it so it will only fit the dog, and actually DOES it!!
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The only reason we shrink & dye clothing is so that you won't ask us to do laundry again.
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8 Yes. One who will go shopping on Sunday Morning.......
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Women love to shop...so I let them do the honors (just be back in time to make me breakfast)
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9 How about one that doesn't think that appreciates the hours you spent planting flower bulbs, and doesn't consider them, "just something else to mow around"?
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I appreciate this very much...I can then go out and get you flowers at a whim
.
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10 Brings roses and chocolate even when it's NOT a special occasion.....
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Please refer to
#9...
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11 And who actually will take you to a plant nursery, not fuss at the purchase of plants in pots with dirt going into his pristinely clean vacuumed truck when you buy 10 potted roses knowing there is no more space in the garden...
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Lucille...I like you but its too soon to be throwing around the word "nursery."
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12 Ok, how about one that can chase that pesky gopher out of your lawn without using anything that does more damage than than gopher?? (i.e. explosive devices and small machinery)
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Naaaa...I like cute little furry animals...matter of fact I even enjoy playing games with them (like soccer).
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13 How about finding a guy who would actually take a whole day to help mulch the gardens?
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Sure...the backyard is a convenient place to dump excess cypress mulch.
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14 I'd be happy to find a guy who LIKED going to reptile shows and pet shops.
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Fine...I'll concede to this one.
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15 How about a guy who doesn't think that airing clothes out on the window is the same as washing them.
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A few sprays of febreze does wonders
.
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16 Oh, and a guy who actually has a butt. So few guys actually have butts these days.
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I have a butt, but its damaged
. When I was a kid I tripped & fell and now there's a crack on it
.
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17 so how about a man that doesn't watch sports!!!! And LOVES anything you cook for him!!!
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A blind ageusic? Whatever floats your boat
...
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18 Not only loves sports, but will take me to the game with him instead of his buddies.
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If there are enough tickets then you're welcome to tag along (after all, someone needs to get the hot dogs during the time outs).
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19 Will talk openly about problems that affect the relationship as a whole.
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...uh huh
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20 Someone that makes me laugh!!........
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Knock Knock...
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21 how about a man who isn't embarrassed to buy female products when he's out getting stuff?
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Nope...if she tells me its
that time of the month, I then skip to the store with a smile on my face thanking God the entire way
.
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22 I would settle for a guy who could refrain from whining like a puppy for a week straight when he has a cold.
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I think whining about an illness is more valid then half the stuff you ladies whine about..."why oh why do I have to have my fathers toes? ...woe is me...woe is me..."
So...did I win?
DISCLAIMER
This is only in jest...well, most...err...some of it (I would never kick a gopher).
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