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Just For Laughs The SOLE purpose of this forum is to put a smile on the face of a person reading the messages. Anything of a SERIOUS nature will either be deleted or moved out of here.

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Old 03-24-2012, 06:55 PM   #1
crotalusadamanteus
Cowboy Poetry

I ain't much for shopping, Or for goin' into town
Except at cattle-shipping time, I ain't too easily found.

But the day came when I had to go - I left the kids with Ma.
But 'fore I left, she asked me, 'Would you pick me up a bra?'

So without thinkin' I said, 'Sure,'How tough could that job be?
An' I bent down and kissed her An' said, 'I'll be back by three.'

Well, I done the things I needed, But I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing - I worked me up a sweat

I walked into the ladies shop My hat pulled over my eyes,
I didn't want to take a chance On bein' recognized.

I walked up to the sales clerk - I didn't hem or haw -
I told that lady right straight out,'I'm here to buy a bra.'

From behind I heard some snickers,So I turned around to see
Every woman in that store Was a'gawkin' right at me!

'What kind would you be looking for?' Well, I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before,'Thought bras was bras,' I said.

'Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Follow me,' I heard her say, Like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley Where bras was on display.
I thought my jaw would hit the floor When I saw that lingerie.

They had all these different styles That I'd never seen before
I thought I'd go plumb crazy 'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate, And that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel Like you ain't wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in When you start off when you're small.

Well, I finally made my mind up - Picked a black and lacy one -
I told the lady, 'Bag it up,' And figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size I didn't hesitate
I knew that measurement by heart,'A six-and-seven-eighths.'

'Six and seven eighths you say? That really isn't right.'
'Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive - I measured them last night!'

I thought that she'd go into shock, Musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust Was the same as my hat size.

'That's what I used to measure with, I figured it was fair,
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am.' This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered And they all was crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat,To measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured, I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store, Tipped my hat and said, 'Good day.'

My wife had heard the story 'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women Who called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin' But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop For women's underwear.
 
Old 03-25-2012, 10:42 PM   #2
~Just Curious~
Thanks for the laugh, that was good!
 
Old 03-25-2012, 11:42 PM   #3
Wilomn
That was pretty good. Did you write it?
 
Old 03-26-2012, 06:25 AM   #4
crotalusadamanteus
Nah, I ain't quite that good, or hick enough to come up with something like that. LOL
 
Old 03-27-2012, 12:29 AM   #5
SamanthaJane13
That wouldn't-by chance-be Waddie Mitchell, would it??

I LOVE that guy!!
 
Old 03-27-2012, 06:46 AM   #6
crotalusadamanteus
Just something me mum sent me. I used to dabble in poetry, so she sends me some good ones sometimes. Didn't catch the author.
 
Old 03-27-2012, 07:00 AM   #7
~Just Curious~
I'm not familiar, but I Googled some lines and most sites I found said that it was written by Bill Hirschi of Rexburg, Idaho. However Waddie Mitchell has preformed it before.
lol You've got quite the eye for cowboy poetry it seems!

Thanks for sharing, I had to foward this to my mum too!
 
Old 03-27-2012, 12:52 PM   #8
SamanthaJane13
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Just Curious~ View Post
I'm not familiar, but I Googled some lines and most sites I found said that it was written by Bill Hirschi of Rexburg, Idaho. However Waddie Mitchell has preformed it before.
lol You've got quite the eye for cowboy poetry it seems!

Thanks for sharing, I had to foward this to my mum too!
Thanks for the info!! A new poet for me to read!!

LOL-I read a lot of different stuff, but remember seeing Waddie on The Tonight Show many years ago...back when Johnnie Carson was still on.

He cracked me up!!
 
Old 04-08-2012, 08:31 AM   #9
rcarichter
Sorry, posted in the wrong place.
 
Old 04-08-2012, 11:06 AM   #10
Tim Cole
Good one Rich!
 

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