Shlomo Birnbaum was hurriedly walking home from work last Friday evening in Brooklyn when he was hit by a bus and was knocked unconcious. A Catholic priest was attracted by the sound of the sirens just as the paramedics arrived. The priest quickly bent over and, not knowing Shlomo's religion, administered last rites. As soon as he had given the last rites, Shlomo fluttered his eyes and sat up fully concious. The priest then told him about the last rites, to which Shlomo replied:
"Well, I,m a Jew - but what you did father, it couldn't hurt"!
So off went Shlomo, again hurrying home, hardly able to wait to tell his family about his experience. When he got home, he went right to his wife and said: "Sadie, you wouldn't believe what happened to your husband today, come mama to the kitchen let me tell you all about it'.
Sadie only said: "I don't have time, I'm late for a Hadassah meeting. Your dinner is in the oven, see you later" and off she went.
Shlomo then went to his daughter's room and said: "Sweetheart, you should hear from what happened to papa today".
She said: "Daddy, I am on the phone planning a wedding shower, please be quiet and close the door on your way out".
So Shlomo went to look for his son, and said to him: "My son, let me tell you from today what happened to your papa".
The son just put out his hand and said: "Dad, I'm late for a date. I need the car keys and $100. He took the keys and cash and off he went.
So Shlomo went alone into the living room, shook his head, shrugged his shoulders, averted his eyes toward heaven and said: "Here I am a goy - for only an hour - and already I hate three Jews"......