BELINDA MCDONALD

Originally Posted by cahrens

Jessica, Did you really send her 783 e-mails and messages?

No, that's an over-exaggeration on her part. I have all copies of all e-mails.. as for how messages on King, that information isn't even disclosed by King (I have already tried to get a copy of everything that was said on that site).

Originally Posted by Wolfy-hound

There's about 20 posts in this thread, some with your emails to this wacko, so you ARE emailing her, and you ARE posting tons about it, quoting everything and yet, you say you are over it and moving on, then not, then you're going to do xxx about it, but have an excuse.

Yes, I am aware of that. My point was that yes, I responded to her first couple e-mails, but have NOT responded to any since then. That's all I was saying, I don't see what's so hard to understand about that.

Originally Posted by Wolfy-hound

Don't attack me just because I'm not wailing and holding your hand. I told what I said only to HELP YOU DEAL WITH IT and make it STOP. Your fiance and you are both still having contact, and the fact that you say she is sending 10 emails in one day has nothing to do with the fact that you HAVE sent replies.

I don't need you to hold my hand, I just felt that you were attacking me and not fully understanding where I am coming from. Again, yes I sent replies to the first couple e-mails she has sent, but none thereafter.

Originally Posted by Wolfy-hound

Again. If you want it to cease. Send a email politely saying "Please do not contact me again." Your fiance should do the same. If YOU pay for your site, you should be able to deal with her accessing it, or posting on it. That's between you and your site. If the person is pretending to be you on any site, then go to the site owner, and let them know this person is NOT you. Then ask what YOU can do to prove your own idenity. Don't go into a whole huge long drawn out drama about what she has done. Just state that she is pretending to be you, that she is not you, and that you would like to prove your id, and then do so. Don't contact HER, and don't respond to HER.

I have done this. Of course I pay for my site, and I had no problem deactivating my blog and thus removing everything from the site. I did this before updating anything on this thread. As far as her impersonating me on another site, that was two months ago. I no longer am a member on that site. I'm sorry, I was just trying to explain what was going on, since that is the entire purpose of THIS thread.

Originally Posted by Wolfy-hound

If you are doing whatever you can legally, then do it. Don't threaten to, don't make excuses why you can't, or won't, just do it. Don't email to tell her, don't email site owners to tell them. Just go do it.

I am. Again, I'm not e-mailing her anymore, I haven't sent her ANYTHING besides what was quoted already. I quoted it for the record, that is all. The purpose was to show what had been said.

Originally Posted by Wolfy-hound

Sorry that you're dealing with a wacko. I've dealt with wackos myself. It's frustrating, but the worst thing you can do is reply in any way to them. If you're serious about the issue, then go deal with it in the ways available.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by Wolfy-hound

And I'm not going to read between the lines to figure you out. I can only go on what you post. What you've posted is a ton of long ramblings between you guys, and a lot of confusion. You can either take my advice, ignore my advice, or wail that I'm attacking you. Makes no real difference in the long run on my end. You're the one who is having an issue, not me. My post was to try to advise you on how to solve your problem. Sorry it's short on rainbows and bunnies, but so am I.

Again, I'm sorry, I was trying to make sense of what was going on the best that I could for the purposes of this thread. I am pregnant, and my mind is scattered.. sorry for the confusion. Like I said before, I felt that your post was just a little judgemental, that is all.

I'd suggest you or your lawyer send her a Cease and Desist letter and document it, and have no further contact with her. Just save any further emails or contact, and keep tabs on any further activity by her. If you feel the need, press further with it through legal action or law enforcement. Responding sounds like what she wants. All it does is stress you out and put you down to her level.

Originally Posted by ophidile

This ALSO INCLUDES YOUR FIANCE. Whatever he's doing, tell him to stop. Stop playing at king.com, or at least figure out how to make an account this person can't crack. Most of all, talk to the mods and figure out why his accounts have been deleted - if the mods are on "her side", then he must stop going there. I'm sure there are other, similar sites he can go to that don't have this association.

I will certainly do this, thank you.

Originally Posted by ophidile

Now, just imagine you are presenting at a future court case. You say "this person has been sending me harassing emails". They will then hold up the email where you SPECIFICALLY ASK THEM TO CONTINUE HARASSING YOU. That's a major problem. You need to think logically about how to deal with this person, not just react and lash out at them.

I understand. I hadn't had ANY contact what-so-ever with this person for a few months until she committed libel. I sent her one e-mail to tell her that I caught her, and a few replies back to the first couple e-mails she sent me. Nothing more.

Originally Posted by ophidile

I'm sorry, but as near as I can tell, it's unlikely any enforcement agency is going to pay much attention to this. I see no death threats. There may be an attempted fraud and some libel, but it's really hard to get law agencies to pay attention to such minor things. And like I just pointed out, it's not really harassment when you tell her to keep harassing you. However, report it anyway. If things escalate, you will have a record. Also, are you in school? Communicate with any campus security you have. Communicate with the local police. It'll be hard finding anyone willing to look at this, which is why you have to keep looking for someone who will listen to you - IF *you* feel it is a serious problem, and not just an annoyance.

I thought libel was a serious crime? I will report it anyway, and see what can be done. I do not feel that my safety is jeopardized. It is mostly an annoyance, or at least WAS most of the time. I was trying to move on with my life until she deliberately committed libel. It was then, that I felt this needed to stop, and something needed to be done about her.

Originally Posted by ophidile

If you consider this a serious problem, it's time to take it seriously. Quit shooting from the hip and do some research about the different kinds of stalkers and how to handle them. The first thing to always, ALWAYS try is giving them nothing to stalk.
That means you do not write this person. That means your fiance does not write this person. That means taking down all blogs, etc, from your site - only have the most generic info necessary to communicate with potential customers. Leave what you have up, update pricelists and photos, and THAT'S IT. Give nothing interesting for her to latch on. I understand you've already taken down the blog, so it sounds like you would be willing to do this.

I understand. All of this has been done besides talking to my fiance, which I will be doing as soon as I see him later today.

Originally Posted by ophidile

Maybe, MAYBE send one firm, CALM statement. Something that, if it were read in court, would make you look unquestionably like a good guy. Then - and this is important - FOLLOW THROUGH. An example would be "I am sorry for all the troubles we've had, but whatever's gone on, it's over now. Please do not contact me again." Make no promises. Do not be emotional, do not be personal. Do some research before writing any such thing - the point is only to make it clear that you have told them not to contact you in case it comes up in court some day. And no matter WHAT they say in response, do not say anything further to them. Same goes for your fiance, and any other friends/associates you have online.

Done.

Originally Posted by ophidile

And as someone else asked, are there really 783 e-mails and messages from you and/or your fiance?

Unfortunately even just writing on this thread constitutes "contact" to a certain extent - maybe they don't know about it, but it's a public site, with her name your info etc, and would likely be easily findable with a proper google search. So, my advice, if you really want to try to solve this problem, is keep an eye on it, but ignore the hell out of it. Try to find authorities who you can go to if things escalate. Hopefully after a while of nothing to go on this person will get bored and find something else to do.

If things are as you say, is it fair you have to be the bigger person, that you have to change in order to avoid this aggressor? No, it's not really "fair", but it will be a step towards solving the problem. I guess the question is, is it more important for you to do whatever you want, or for this person to stop bothering you?

That's not a facetious question, either. My point is either this is an annoyance and you can dick around with this person, or it's seriously upsetting you (or may even lead to worse) and it's something you have to be careful of.

I didn't think you were being facetious at all, thank you for your advice.

Originally Posted by FallenAngel

I

Oh, and I also ordered printer ink this morning... .

Have you got your ink yet? Print out what you need and make your report. If the ink has not yet arrived, as a college student you have access, usually at the library, to low cost printing, print what you can and make a report to the appropriate authorities.

Originally Posted by Wolfy-hound

If you are doing whatever you can legally, then do it. Don't threaten to, don't make excuses why you can't, or won't, just do it. Don't email to tell her, don't email site owners to tell them. Just go do it.

This is the best advice in this entire thread IMHO.

While I realize this is an upsetting situation, the way to end it is to make the appropriate reports and cut communication.

Originally Posted by lucille

Have you got your ink yet? Print out what you need and make your report. If the ink has not yet arrived, as a college student you have access, usually at the library, to low cost printing, print what you can and make a report to the appropriate authorities.



This is the best advice in this entire thread IMHO.

While I realize this is an upsetting situation, the way to end it is to make the appropriate reports and cut communication.

The ink did not come today, hopefully it will come on Monday or Tuesday. Getting to my school to print anything is far more trouble that it's worth ($0.10 for each page, along with $2.50 for the city bus, which would also take several hours out of my day). I have so much to do as it is, especially on Monday and Tuesday, so I am just going to wait for the ink to arrive in the mail.

Thank you for your advice.

I am also terribly sorry for my cussing, it won't happen again.