Have You Been Cheated On?

Have you ever been cheated on? Ever find out why?

Have you ever cheated? Why?

Have I ever been cheated on? Yes.
Why? Who knows. She was younger, prettier...not all that smart, but who really cares I guess. Does anyone really know why? I doubt it.
Have I ever cheated? Depends on how you define cheating...

Why anyone wants to cheat remains a mystery to me. My ex did it and her only explaination was I worked too much. 60 hrs a week isn't that much. Besides, I married into a ready made family; kids included. Had to take care of them, right?
I made the discovery one day after school { college }. Came in and caught them in the act. It was hard, but her actions spoke for her charactor and I left.

I have not cheated. Never the desire. I see marriage as a promise and those are kept. But, when one steps out of that marriage, there is no turning back. Irrepairable damage is done. Even if it is worked out and beyond, trust has been violated for all eternity. Trust isn't a restoration project, it is given and maintained.

i agree with you 100%...besides...the bible says that the ONLY reason that is okay to get divorce is because of the act of adultery committed by the partner...and if its in the bible.....then its important and should be taken VERY seriously
Hebrews 13:4..and i quote "Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers."

Excellent quote, Rana !!!

To cheat is an insult to the marriage...and one's self.

To use the marriage bed to cheat is the ultimate insult. There is no turning back from that.

Originally Posted by ladyserpent7

i agree with you 100%...besides...the bible says that the ONLY reason that is okay to get divorce is because of the act of adultery committed by the partner...and if its in the bible.....then its important and should be taken VERY seriously
Hebrews 13:4..and i quote "Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers."

Actually, I would have to disagree with that analysis. After many years of studying at Lincoln Christian College and Seminary, studying both Greek and Hebrew, I do not view adultery, as used in the Bible, in the conventional sense of the word. Too often, people assume that adultery means having sex outside of the marriage. I, personally speaking, believe that adultery is more commonly used as cheating on one's vow's.

For instance, a husband beats his wife. That is a direct violation against the vow to honor, to cherish, to...... I do not believe that the Creator of this Universe intended for a woman to lay with her husband each night all the while knowing that tomorrow might be her last breath.

With that being said, I also do not believe that it is biblical to simply walk away from a marriage because one violated their vows. I believe it is our duty to work things out with our spouses if at all possible. If the offending spouse chooses to not seek counseling, or chooses to not realign themselves with their vows, then I say divorce is not only a viable but a biblical option.

Griz

Originally Posted by dutchoven

Actually, I would have to disagree with that analysis. After many years of studying at Lincoln Christian College and Seminary, studying both Greek and Hebrew, I do not view adultery, as used in the Bible, in the conventional sense of the word. Too often, people assume that adultery means having sex outside of the marriage. I, personally speaking, believe that adultery is more commonly used as cheating on one's vow's.

For instance, a husband beats his wife. That is a direct violation against the vow to honor, to cherish, to...... I do not believe that the Creator of this Universe intended for a woman to lay with her husband each night all the while knowing that tomorrow might be her last breath.

With that being said, I also do not believe that it is biblical to simply walk away from a marriage because one violated their vows. I believe it is our duty to work things out with our spouses if at all possible. If the offending spouse chooses to not seek counseling, or chooses to not realign themselves with their vows, then I say divorce is not only a viable but a biblical option.

Griz

I try to hold onto the fact "that everything happens for a reason" I still shake my head, and wonder why he left........but hey, i have some pretty good friends that have held me together......most of them are here!!

I'm with Laura. Everything happens for a reason.
I've watched all my girlfriends get married. Helped them plan weddings, baby showers, then drove them all to divorice court and helped pack bags and furniture. I think people need to listen to their gut, not always the heart, or the head. I've had friends tell me while we are planning a wedding, that something wasn't right, or he isn't this, BUT it would all get better after the wedding. It does, for a about a year or so, then a long slow and painful slope follows. You always think you know someone, then something changes or reality sets in and things aren't so peachy like you thought they were.
So you ask have I ever been cheated on. My head says no, he would never do that. My heart says no, how could anyone do that. But in my gut, lays the truth which someday I have to accept.
Have I ever cheated? No
Would I do so for "revenge"? Nope, not my style.
Have I had the chance to do so and NEVER get caught? Yes.
Would I hate him for doing it? No
Would I ever "cheat"? if the day comes when it might happen, all parties involved will know my situation, I won't lie about it, I won't sneak around, and I'll be ready and able to face the concequenses or make the decisions I need to make.

Laura, stop shaking your head girlfriend, go out and shake you booty! If you knock enough apples out of the tree, you're bound to get a good one!!

Originally Posted by dutchoven

For instance, a husband beats his wife. That is a direct violation against the vow to honor, to cherish, to...... I do not believe that the Creator of this Universe intended for a woman to lay with her husband each night all the while knowing that tomorrow might be her last breath. ...........

With that being said, I also do not believe that it is biblical to simply walk away from a marriage because one violated their vows. .

Griz

Bob, got to disagree with you on this one. Vows to be faithful are one thing (maybe) but your above vow of violence violating the vow to honor and cherish: it is my personal opinion that two people do not belong together if one beats the stuffing out of the other.

The classic sham is the repentant husband who promises never to do it again and then next week, the woman finds herself beaten and it escalates.
Nope, not gonna stay and work that one out.

Originally Posted by lucille

Bob, got to disagree with you on this one. Vows to be faithful are one thing (maybe) but your above vow of violence violating the vow to honor and cherish: it is my personal opinion that two people do not belong together if one beats the stuffing out of the other.

The classic sham is the repentant husband who promises never to do it again and then next week, the woman finds herself beaten and it escalates.
Nope, not gonna stay and work that one out.

I agree here. But, in some cases { not mine} the wife is the aggressor. One of my brothers got the crap beat out him repeatedly by his wife. Once with a coathanger while he was in the shower. A week later, she nearly castrated him with a knife. She he stay and work it out? NO !!

My case was an cheating wife. Not once. We "worked" that out. She worked out a way to do it several more times. I worked my way out the door.

No one should stay in the event of abuse, neglect, or cheating. While they all break the vows made on that day { of wishful dreaming}, they are each a reason to split.
The question remains: what do we need to do to keep it together the way they did it even 50 years ago?