S 2011: Sports Safety Modernization Act

S 2011: Sports Safety Modernization Act
A Bill to prohibit the playing of any sports game by non professional players. This bill would prohibit the play of any organized sport activity to include football, baseball, martial arts, basketball, hockey, soccer, tennis, golf, and any and all related activities by individuals who are not paid professionals of organized and sanctioned professional United States League teams organized by the NFL; MLB; UFC; NBA; NHL; MLS; ATP; PGA and related professionally sanctioned organizations.

No individual of any age who is not directly contracted by professional teams of the above national organizations may engage in any sporting activity.
After thorough review of the risks involved resulting in numerous injuries and play that may cause long term disability, life threatening injury sustained during play, and or possible death, all sporting activities not on the professional level will be prohibited. *

After thorough review of the disturbance of natural habitats, native wildlife, and ecosystems sustained by the construction of the enormous amount of athletic fields and venues within local communities and all 50 states, all sporting activities not on the professional level will be prohibited. **

Any transport on a team bus or any other travel of a non professional team/player over state lines to play in a sporting event will be punishable as a felony violation with a fine of $5000 and or one year in jail.

No sporting event that is not directly contracted by professional teams of the above national organizations may be held at any venue at any time. Any violation will be punishable as a felony violation with a fine of $5000 and/or one year in jail.

Any elementary, secondary, high school, or collegiate participation in a sport will be punishable as a felony violation with a fine of $5000 and/or one year in jail.

Any manufacturer, retail, or wholesale outlet of sports equipment and related sports products can only sell inventory within each state. Out of state internet trade or in state purchase of equipment by a non state resident is strictly prohibited. Transport of inventory over state lines will be punishable as a felony violation with a fine of $5000 and/or one year in jail.

Any construction of any field, building, or other structure that would enable a sport to be played, unless specifically run by a professional sporting authority management and zoned per direction of the Department of the Interior or its state representatives is strictly prohibited and will be punishable as a felony violation with a fine of $5000 and/or one year in jail.

Funding of enforcement of these measures upon passage of this bill will be provided by the budget outlined in this Bill. Additional staff for enforcement and research will be hired by USFWS; USGS; HUD, HHS, Department of Commerce, and the Department of Education.

*”An independent study commissioned by the Department of the Interior by all “professional” entities that attract viewers of live and recorded professional sporting events.”

(For statistics see: http://www.childrenshospital.org/az/...geS1112P0.html)

** “An independent study commissioned by the Department of the Interior by all “professional” entities that that benefit from the control of all lands and wildlife.”

(For statistics of increased field demand see: http://www.wsyacy.com/archives/land.html)

(For statistics of conflict of habitat preservation vs. field demand see: http://ekoscommunications.com/node/334)

[Please note that though this Act is theoretical, the data available shows sports to be responsible for statistically significant injuries to young and amateur athletes. The huge amounts of land used for sports negatively impacts native wildlife and ecosystems. The “Sports Modernization Act”, as written, is exactly parallel to the action being taken by USFW in placing large constrictors on the Injurious Wildlife List. This USFWS action will effectively ruin thousands of U.S. businesses as well as potentially turn as many as one million U.S. citizens that own these animals into felons. This USFWS action is based on data that has not been shown to be statistically significant, is prejudicial, and based on opinion. There is no justification for the USFWS action based on science or law. If the USFWS regulation can be enacted then it is not beyond the imagination that, even without statistical manipulation, a regulation as has been outlined in this “Sports Safety Modernization Act” could in fact be put in place.]

Wow, talk about interesting. I read this to my wife and she about freaked out...lol. It is sad that once you change a few words to mean something other than what is being put on the block is, you get a reaction... I will send this to my representative and see what they think....

and they wonder why the US is full of fat people

What??? So no one could go to a park and play softball on the weekends? WTH is that about??

What next? No one can own steak knives or scissors due to the large amount of injuries occuring due to sharp things. No amount of fluid can be sold over 1/2 tsp due to the high possibility of drowning. No cars sold because thousands die in car accidents. I swear, I was reading this and looked back at the date thinking it HAD to be a April Fools posting.

Sorry, disclaimer wasn't clear enough to me. I thought it was just comparing the stupidity of each.
And I'm only vaguely awake. That's my excuses and I'm sticking to them.

Aparantly the disclaimer on this wasn't clear to my representative either. I got a call a couple of days ago from one of his aids assuring me that nothing about banning sports was in the works. I told her that if she has read my email to re-read it, and tell Senator Udall that it is a mirror to the reptile ban, and that he should put a bug in every ones ear that this is what it feels like to those of us in the reptile community. I am now waiting another phone call, hopefully from the Mr. Udall himself. Though I doubt that I will get a call directly from him. It is still good to know that this little bill shook some leaves.

Absolutely brilliant analogy Jonathon! Thank you.