In the woods

A guy is driving his humvee through the woods when he sees a large grisly. He thinks to himself, "I'm going to kill this grisly, then all my frineds will think I'm a badass."

So he stops the humvee, gets out his crossbow, and takes aim. "FWIT!" The bear falls down. Elated, the man runs over to inspect his kill. When he gets close, the bear jumps up, grabs him by the back of the neck, and shows him a paw full of claws.

The bear says, "Either I have sex with you, or I kill you." The man, not wanting to die, releuctantly agrees to having sex with the bear. The bear gets done, let's the man go, and starts to walk away.

The man is pissed. He runs back to his humvee, picks up his .45, and runs after the bear. Not too far into the woods, he spots the bear agian. He takes aim. "BANG!" The bear falls. The man shouts in delight, and runs over to inspect the corpse. The bear gets up and grabs him by the neck again, showing him a paw full of claws. The bear says, "Either I have sex with you, or you die." The man sighs heavily, and, again, not wanting to die, agrees to let the bear have his way.

When the bear is done, he releases the man, who runs back to his humvee as fast as he can. He pulls out his Winchester pump action 12 gauge. He runs a bit further into the woods and finally spots the bear. He takes aim. "BOOM!" The bear falls. The man jumps in the air with happiness and runs over. Just as he approaches the bear, he is grabbed by the neck agian and shown a paw full of claws. Again, the bear says, "Either I have sex with you, or you die." The man starts to cry, but agrees once more.

When the bear finally finishes, the man runs all the way back to his humvee. He digs around in the back for a moment before he emerges with a sub machine gun. He takes after the bear into the woods. It takes him a few minutes to find the bear this time. When he sees the bear, he takes aim. "TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT TAT" The bear falls again. The man let's out a cry of victory and runs over to shoot the bear some more. Just as he is about to pull the trigger again, the bear grabs him by the neck, leans in close to him, shaking his head, and says, "You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"