It's the Real Thing

A lot about this forum has to do with finding and meeting that Right Person, either for an evening, a relationship, or for a lifetime. It is all about getting there, and getting (well, whatever it was that you were looking to get,lol).

Most of what I write has to do with jockeying for position and running the race, not what happens after you cross the finish line.

It would be good to hear from some of you that have had successful long term relationships, (at least a year) and how you found that person and what were the Real Things that kept you in the relationship.

What does a 'solid relationship' mean to you? If you have ever had one, or have one now, try to describe your insights on what is important to you.

Originally Posted by lucille

It would be good to hear from some of you that have had successful long term relationships, (at least a year) and how you found that person and what were the Real Things that kept you in the relationship.

What does a 'solid relationship' mean to you? If you have ever had one, or have one now, try to describe your insights on what is important to you.

Lucille,
Does beining married for 19 years and together for 22 years in to the same person in the first go around and still married count for a solid relationship?
can a relationship like this participate in this form.

Randall: It certainly looks like you have a successful life and a wonderful marriage. I wish there were more like you.....

My last relationship was almost four years. To me it was work. Work to keep us romantic, work to keep small things from becoming daily little bickerings, work to keep growing together.

It ended when I realized I Was the only one doing any work and I was too tired to go on.... if I ever find anyone I will be sure not only to back off a bit (towards the end I was his "mother") but also to not keep hanging on when it becomes obvious the other person doesn't want to share the workload. "Work" may be the wrong word, but I think you can understand

No, work is the right word, just as it's work to raise up the hatchlings into beautiful adults. Relationships are like any other living thing: it requires work to keep it healthy and growing. Not everyone wants to hear that or acknowledge it, which is part of the problem with so many relationships dying.

Yeah, it takes a lot of work. My two year relationship just ended, and it was because neither one of us where putting in enough time or effort. We both worked different hours and days, we would always say "lets go to the movies on ________" and then it wouldn't happen......... I would have to work or she would................... I used to buy her little presents all the time, but that eventually stopped (new-ness wore off?)............ I would also meet new people (other girls) and become slightley interested in them, of course I would never cheat........ But things just changed. It sucks now, because after being broken up you see everything that was wrong, but its too late to fix it.......... It really is a bummer.

Matt

I'm enjoying an unanticipated X-mas alone, too. I just broke up w/ my gf. It was relatively short term, come to find out...I'm "the other guy" in a marital love affair, and I didn't know. What a sucky soap opera. It's amazing sometimes how things present themselves and the truth surfaces......kind of like my court room here on the BOI.

I guess I can't blamer her for wanting to lie to her husband to be with me. Afterall, she is only human. She had "all this" in front of her....she probably did what any normal woman wants to do (sigh):-D ROFLMAO

I haven't ever been married, but I am more than qualified to take the poll. All of the above should be an option.

js

That is hard when you find out an entire relationship was based on a lie. And for you that was a VERY big one! If you're in my area stop by for a lonely Christmas drink

I think that "commitment" and "focus" need to be thrown in there with "work", as those specifics are every bit as important. Just as in growing a reptile business (just to use something that many of us here can relate to), there are days (weeks?) when you just don't feel like giving any more time or money, but you think about the long term and you do what you've committed to do. LTR's are bound to go through those times when you wonder if it's worth it....but if the commitment is still there, those times usually pass and you realize why that person was so important to you as a partner in the first place.

One other thing that I've noticed is how people in a relationship can stop showing general courtesy to one another. If a perfect stranger holds a door for you, you most likely make it a point to say "thanks" and give them a big smile...if your partner makes that same polite gesture, do you acknowledge it and say "thanks", or just expect it?

Thanks for the invite. I'd take you up on it, but unfortunately I'm a ways away. Maybe some other time ;-)

Yep. T'was quite the lie. Lucky me...he's also a Sheriff's Deputy. Apparently his intentions were "to not" share his wife, and I have heard he isn't thrilled...can't say I would be either. I even busted him following me one time.

I sent her an e-mail today, asking her if the three of us can sort this out on "Jerry Springer", but I haven't heard anything yet. :-D There should be like an online BOI for relationships. "Anybody Ever Date: Jane Doe?????", or...."(thumbs down) Jane Doe - Bad GIRL!". Stuff like that could save a guy some trouble (lol)

Jason Shephard