You partner looking at the opposite sex??

I was wondering how you felt about your wife/husband/partner looking or admiring others?/ Do you think its a natural thing to look at others?? Do you get jealous when you see them looking or maybe it doesnt bother you at all because it just may be a natural thing to look at others and or admire others. Where do you draw the line??
Does you other half get mad at you if they catch you with a wondering eye??

It all depends. My wife and I are going on close to 10 years of marriage and 16 years of being together. We are mature enough, and comfortable enough in what our relationship is to not even give it a second thought.

For instance, I am in the midst of hiring a secretary for my firm. I flat out told my wife that appearance will be a factor in the hiring decision. While I am not looking for some drop dead woman to fill this role, it would certainly be in their favor if all else is equal. My wife knows me well enough to know the reasoning is purely marketing potential vs bringing eye candy to the table for my sales staff.

You can admire beauty safely in a marriage. Where the problems comes is when that admiration turns into lust. Pride cometh before the fall and that is one factor most people do not recognize until it is too late.

So, long answer to your question. It is only natural to look and there is nothing wrong with that admiration. But, if you do a 180 to check things out then I imagine your spouse has a right to whop you one to complete the 360!

Griz

I used to not let it bother me, but in the case of my ex, I learned something different. She would look and I paid it no mind until the day I came home and found her looking again........... this time while she was on her back looking up at him.

I don't get jealous still. I feel if he is worth admiring, she is better off without me.

I think it is completely natural and very human to look at the opposite sex. Jealousy, IMHO is a lack of maturity in oneself and relationship. When woman would look at Jerry, I would smile, wink at her, and know that he is coming home with me.

The biggst reason I asked this qution is because i live in a beach community. I happen to be down the boardwalk yesterday and there were a LOT of younger women there (18-30 yrs) in bikinis and I happen to be leaning over the railing on the boardwalk looking when the misses came out of the candy shop (with my salt water taffy of course) I made a remark " i guess you would prefer to have one of those over me wouldnt you?". I of course said i was admiring the view of the ocean and waves, but she new better. Later at night she made one more remark " if you are so happy with our rlationship why do you feel it ecesary to look at other women", I of course replied "none of those girls could hold a candle up to you!!", once again I got the "uh HUH" fro her. I dont think its a big deal just to look and i dont mind if she looks, theres no one that doesnt like to look at beautiful things.

I honestly don't give a crap though I may make a smart remark if I am in a bad mood over something else and say "hey go for it dude" or "ya think, hmmm no she way out classes you"

But I could care less, if he wants to be with someone else, he is going too and Im not that hard up that I "need" him. Granted I like him being around but Im just not one of those that thinks the world will end if he looks or leaves for that matter.

He says I am cold hearted, oh well, I call it independent and not able to be knocked down over petty stuff.

It's completely natural to look at a pretty face. When my guy happens to check out another girl, I'm usually looking right along with him. If you're confident and secure with your relationship, stuff like that shouldn't bother you.

Originally Posted by nicolai

The biggst reason I asked this qution is because i live in a beach community. I happen to be down the boardwalk yesterday and there were a LOT of younger women there (18-30 yrs) in bikinis and I happen to be leaning over the railing on the boardwalk looking when the misses came out of the candy shop (with my salt water taffy of course) I made a remark " i guess you would prefer to have one of those over me wouldnt you?". I of course said i was admiring the view of the ocean and waves, but she new better. Later at night she made one more remark " if you are so happy with our rlationship why do you feel it ecesary to look at other women", I of course replied "none of those girls could hold a candle up to you!!", once again I got the "uh HUH" fro her. I dont think its a big deal just to look and i dont mind if she looks, theres no one that doesnt like to look at beautiful things.

Is there a reason for her to feel insecure? Not implying that you have cheated, just curious if someone in her past has cheated on her and this is how it started?

I have never cheated on her. I did however date other girls when we first started dating. Her ex did cheat on her. I dont know if that is a factor in her behavior now though, we have been together for 16 years.

One would think that after 16 years, she would let go, but you know women have the memory of elephants. Nothing escapes them.
{ men have selective memory, we recall what we want to. Ask any woman, she will agree}

I think that I would have, upon being busted like that, made the remark," I wasn't admiring them, I was just thinking I wish you were down there to show them real beauty". Or, " why would I want a child when I have a woman?"Or, invite her to look at the girls and say " aren't you glad you don't look as pitiful and desperate as they do?"