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Is this possible, or does it all have to do with how often you hold them from when they're young as they grow?
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Yes it is possible and no .. chameleons generally do not like to be handled, so breeding has nothing to do with "holding" them. Your female is a "total jerk" because it is the norm for them to be "total jerks". They are solitary and private creatures.
Breeding comes with age of both the male and female .. one year
minimal for both. Sucessful mating has much to do with the female's size and health.
Breeding results if husbandry is perfect, they are healthy and are not regularly housed together nor do they feel competition for housing, space, privacy or food. They don't even like to see one another in nature, let alone in captive environments.
Finally ... good luck!
It's awesome when you see those eggs hatching out after so many months of babysitting them!
Let your male get older, stop handling both & and stop putting him in front of mirrors. Wait until your females display their mating colors and then try again.
Feed them well and gutload their crickets/worms/roaches with fresh greens & fruit. Make sure they get proper hydration, supplements, UVB and ample room (and privacy) in their enclosures.