This ones for all the men to reply to.

Well I agree with the third part. Wilomons right I speak then think. My other personal affair is my eye got scratched somehow three days ago and it hurts! I kinda look like I'm on drugs. lol Also a counselor won't help to those who never do wrong and don't listen, and no way in all of flaming underworld would I ever live with the wreck that is my Mother. Bury me first. I aplogize if I made it sound more serious then it is, I was mad. I am still quit ticked about Piccolo so I shouldn't of even brought it up.

Well since I'm like that I'll ask my wife....

She laughed and said she still hasn't figured it out yet.

Truth is, like me, he'll never change. There are worse men out there so look at it like a package deal, you get the good with the bad. Nobody is perfect, and it is better to find someone who is a good friend, and that you can put up with (both the good and the bad).

Were getting our taxes back any day now and I have been eying up a few things myself. Maybe I'll ask her opinion first...maybe.

Now talking as a woman who was in this situation once. Don't make excuses!! He will and always will think of himself first, what he wants second, how he gets it third. You? Maybe when you say something that interrupts his process of thinking. Finances won't allow you to break up? No one is worth staying with because of money. There are friend's couches to sleep on, charity organizations to help you, ways to tighten your belt until you can get back on your feet. You say it will be a long time to marry. Don't. I may be biased in what I say because of what I went through. But I took the hard route and came close to being homeless(which can happen when you have a job). I now am with the man I wish to be with. I have an incredible daughter that I thank God everyday for. I have my critters that are taken care and want for nothing. You need to honestly sit down by yourself and think about how you want your life to be. Where would you like to be? Are you capable of doing it at the stage you are now? If not, why? I am sorry if I chastise you for this but it irks me to hear this when the answer is clear but excuses still come up. Even if he doesn't go for counseling, how about you? Talk to someone, counselor, pastor, etc. You're young, but time will fly by. Think about it.

Originally Posted by Leighanne

the older guy younger girl scenario is most of the time fruitless and gross.

ouch, lol

Originally Posted by hhmoore

ouch, lol

Some just know how to kick us.....

Leighanne, you will never change him. Anybody can change but they have to put their mind to the concept. This is like being an addict, you have to acknowledge the problem before you can correct the issue. Dealing with the symptoms doesn't cure the issue and the potential for it to always surface will be there. He needs to realize, and I mean really realize, what he is doing and make up his mind to the idea he is wrong. You can threaten and scream and cry but none of that matters until you can actually put the threat to action.

Personally, if the taxes are BOTH of yours ( meaning youre now filing jointly, which i dont believe happens until youre married anyway? could be wrong as im not married, nor do i have a fiancee) anyway, if theyre BOTH of yours then you both must SPLIT it.
Im sorry, but that whole, He pays for everything and she makes bare minimum dosnt work in this society anymore.

My boyfriend and i Split everything. Right down the middle. ( cost wise lol ) when we get 120 worth of groceries, we both pay 60 bucks. Same with bills and rent. that way, no one person is responsible for every darn thing. Its something we BOTH work at.

On the other hand, if youre filing your taxes seperately, Thats your OWN money. and its the same for him. Im getting tax returns this year, and my other half, isnt. That dosnt mean he lays claim to the money i get. not at all. Thats MY money, that i worked for, and ill darn well spend it on whatever i want! The same would go for him. Unfortunately for spending that cash, im going to be getting myself a car which is AWESOME, and my grand parents will be co signing a loan for me ( after YEARS of begging somone to...) so ive decided thats where that money is going to go...

You cannot expect him to help you get a car. But. you CAN expect him to help teach you how to drive. a man can only do so much. the rest has to fall on you, and youre willingness to help yourself. the same goes for him, if hes unwilling to help himself, and learn, then you might have to start rethinking things.

Im not asking mine to pay anything for this car im getting, its something that i have to do, for myself. Sure, well probably share eachothers cars and whatnot and help if the other needs help cash wise, but whats his is his, and he wont expect me to pay for it and vice versa.

if you want the boy to listen to you, you need to be able to talk to him about it. Sit him down, on the bed, or couch, and dont BLAME him. Dont point fingers. talk about how YOU feel, and what you think you both should do about it. Blaming a guy instantly puts him on the defense, and hell block out what youre going to say, even without actually hearing it. TRUST me. Ive got a Leo on my hands. ( im one too.. mind you)

Anyway, as for YOUR animals, thats your responsibility. Not his. My animals, are mine. i dont ever ask gordon to pay for rats/supplies for them unless i can pay him back. i never expect him to get that stuff either. Ill ask him to get me stuff if hes at the pet store THAT minute, but if he dosnt have the cash at that moment in time when hes getting a rat for his snake Kamaji, well im tough out of luck, and will have to go back on my own.

now. if this guy is just getting animals left and right and YOU'RE caring for them ( have to meaning..) then you have the right to say "No More!" and if he dosnt listen, then ditch him.
My Boy still has a say on what animals i get because we do Live together, this is our place and we both have to live here. if he ever ended up having to care for my animals, he would have every right to say. Get rid of them. when i get new critters, i ask, always.
At the same time, he understands that my animals are my thing, and so long as i dont go overboard with it, im allowed to get whatever. He has his computers lying about the place too, so its a win win situation for the both of us. Everything in a relationship has to deal with compromise, you have to be willing to work together AND separately on things but most of all, you need to be able to understand the other person and their feelings, and they the same for you.

ive been with my boy for three years, and weve certainly had our ups and downs at times, but its ALWAYS a work in progress.

Sorry that was kinda long...

Webslave PLEASE delete this thread!?

Kristin, I have a daughter your age. While I would not go the relationship issues here, as that is a more complex subject that can be realistically dealt with on an internet reptile site, I would tell you this:

You're young. If it ain't workin' out, then it ain't. Banging your head against the wall will not change that. You still have plenty of time. Don't waste it; once you get older, you don't have that luxury.

I sense you are a little regretful of the info you have posted here. You need not be.

If I had a dime for every time I posted something, then wished I hadn't, I'd have $7.82.

Good Luck.

Will anybody Please delete this thread?

Things dont get deleted from Fauna. ever. Unless it dosnt have your full name on the BOI.

Let it die, and it most likely wont appear again. Thats the best anyone can do for ya.