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Seamus,
I fear it may be too late, but nonetheless I decided to send an email to DHMO as soon as I read their FAQ on Dihydrogen Monoxide. The email follows:
Dear DHMO.org,
Today, I read the information on your home page, and also read your FAQ, about the perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide. If I understand you correctly, this substance is a modern day opiate of the masses which causes needless and numerous deaths and injuries each year. I was overwhelmed to see, based upon your claims, that neither the United States government nor the media has given this chemical substance the attention which it deserves. Needless to say I was aghast that such a lethal and caustic compound is readily available to the youth of our nations in their schools and elsewhere. Shame of the US Government officials who have turned their backs on this peril.
I am quite concerned over the easy availability of this substance; and I pledge to do all that is required of me to help eradicate its wanton misuse in our society lest it become the next apocalyptic plaque of modern times. In light of the serious nature of the problem regarding the alleged misuse of this product, I am considering making a generous donation to your organization, or to the appropriate organization of your choosing, and would ask that you direct me to the proper channels to distribute such a grant. I am not talking a mere few dollars, but for starters possibly would be willing to make a donation of $10,000 (US funds), or more. Please forward me you organizational information to include: organization name and address, name of your CEO, direct contact telephone number of your CEO, account numbers for transmittal of any donations I decide to make (this would be via electronic transfer of funds), contact information for your accounting department, contact information for your legal department. Also, and this is very important to me, please let me know if a donation to your organization is tax deductible (whether it is or not is not likely to effect the amount I would be willing to donate, however before I make a donation this information is important to me in a determination as to which of my holdings to utilize in making the donation). I would, so to speak, like to get the ball rolling on this matter as quickly as possible. I fear the hazard you have explained is already deep rooted within the fabric of our society, and that it will take a Herculean effort to eradicate this insidious threat. Needless to say such an effort will be expensive and will require munificent benefaction. Other organizations to which I have made generous contributions are: The Nature Conservancy, Ducks Unlimited, The United Negro College Fund, The Roger Von Amelunxen Foundation, and The Whittington Center. However, I must point out that none of causes of these organizations has impressed me as being quite so noteworthy as has your campaign against Dihydrogen Monoxide.
God Bless America, and God bless your organization for having brought this frightful menace to light. Please keep up the good effort, our nation depends upon people of your caliber to protect it from harm.
Best regards,
Glenn Bartley
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I cannot wait to receive their reply!
All the best,
Glenn B
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