Turkey Day

TURKEY DAY ADVISE
http://margaretandhelen.com/2012/11/...e-family-2012/
Dear Family,
I’m not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.
Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get what’s leftover.
Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.
Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don’t arrive at someone’s house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God I thought you might have learned after two wives – date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.
Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have decided that 47% of you don’t know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I’ll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.
House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.
2. The” no cans for kids” rule still exists. We are using 2 liter bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child’s cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I’ll be paying close attention to refills.
3. Cloe, last year we were at Trudy’s house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time honey. You’ve never been a good cook and you shouldn’t bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the HEB bakery.
4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.
5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That’s nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn’t change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That’s why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy… look at me. I’ve outlived almost everyone I know.
6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.
7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.
8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.
9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the kids. I have nice things and I don’t put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I’ll watch my things.
10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?
11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You don’t need to bring anything means you don’t need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really. This doesn’t have to be difficult.
12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it’s true now that you have kids.
13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

The election is over so I’ll watch what I say and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, we’ll have a good time. If not, I’ll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver. I mean it really.

I prefer staying at home with the dogs. I never have to deal with any of those issues.

I'm staying home with the dogs too, but the kids are coming over for Thanksgiving and frying the turkey

Just me an hubby. And the cat that gets two pills a day.

Good stuff!

http://icanhas.cheezburger.com/tag/thanksgiving/

I'm going to go bird watching in the morning and then take my dog to the park in the afternoon. I haven't seen rough-legged hawks, pine grosbeaks, evening grosbeaks, or Bohemian waxwings in years so I've gotta go track 'em down! I also need to find a snowy owl, never seen a live one. Normally I go deer hunting on Thanksgiving day, but I just started a new job and haven't had time to buy a license and go scouting around for places to go.

We're having our Thanksgiving dinner on Friday. I know I'm having red velvet cake with cream cheese icing for dessert, but not sure on dinner yet. I'm thinking about a slow-cooked venison roast with barley and wild rice. Mmmm, should be good!

The traditional family get-together for us. Typical dinner of turkey, ham, greenbean casserole, sweet potatoes and marshmallows etc Pies for desert. Not very creative. Same as every year, but I wouldn't trade it for the world, you can't beat family and food.
I say the dog isn't supposed to get any table scraps, but I don't think there's ever been a year where she hasn't. Another tradition...? Thanksgiving isn't really the day to worry about that I suppose~

My other "kids" already got their holiday meal. Francisco can be seen here demonstrating the post-holiday bulge I will no doubt have come 24 hours.


"I swear it fit fine an hour ago!"

lol Wishing everyone the best tomorrow! Enjoy! Take a moment to reflect upon all that you have and are thankful for. Then dig in!
And I really hope that you're able to see a snowy owl Vanessa, that would be a wonderful sight~

dad and I already 'celebrated' last week with Mountain Mikes pizza & beer, our typical turkey day, celebrating the raping of this land and it's native peoples, with pizza. wheee


I do hope that people enjoy their family time and feasts tomorrow.

Originally Posted by snowgyre

I'm going to go bird watching in the morning and then take my dog to the park in the afternoon. I haven't seen rough-legged hawks, pine grosbeaks, evening grosbeaks, or Bohemian waxwings in years so I've gotta go track 'em down! I also need to find a snowy owl, never seen a live one. Normally I go deer hunting on Thanksgiving day, but I just started a new job and haven't had time to buy a license and go scouting around for places to go.

We're having our Thanksgiving dinner on Friday. I know I'm having red velvet cake with cream cheese icing for dessert, but not sure on dinner yet. I'm thinking about a slow-cooked venison roast with barley and wild rice. Mmmm, should be good!

Shame you aren't just a teensy bit closer. We had record amounts of snowies in this part of Montana last winter, and surely they'll be back this winter. I know where a couple rough-leggeds hang out because a snake breeder tosses them an extra mouse or two, too. They've always been very close nearby when I've been through there. I haven't seen it yet, but there's supposedly a wild harris hawk up in the northwest part of the state. Not a falconer's bird, and not banded, just a poor guy who's WAY outta his home range.

My personal favorites are our flickers, and those lazuli buntings. <3

April, those tiny puddles of grease are makin' my tummy growl. Yum!

Just Connie and myself. Connie doesn't eat turkey, but cooks one up for me. That is, if it thaws out in time.... We get around 20 meals out of one when she carves up the left overs and puts them in portions in the freezer.

I guess I'll be puttering around in the garage most of the day. Got some fuel lines to replace in the blue vette. Darn ethanol isn't good for rubber lined stainless braided lines. Needs to be PTFE (teflon lined) hose. You would think the guy who installed those lines would have known that.