Life events

Sometimes people give reasons for not completing biz deals which, if true, are really difficult times for them. I have a guy who has some of my money for frog terrarium supplies, he says that he has not sent anything because he is dealing with the death of his daughter. I asked for a refund but he has not sent any money back.
The guy could really be down and out and need time to sort his life out.
What do you do when you are in a business relationship and someone offers a reason like that for non completion?

If the guy's claims were legitimate (have you verified they are?), I'd give the guy a couple extra weeks, maybe a month, to either get me the supplies or a refund. Yes, losing a child is a horrible thing and I wouldn't dare minimize his loss, but at some point he's going to have to start moving on with his life and resume business. I guess a better way to say it is that I would give him a reasonable period to grieve, and what you or I think is "reasonable" obviously can/will differ.

If you're talking about a situation involving a written contract with specific performance deadlines, then unless he asked for, and I agreed to, an extension in writing, I would still expect him to perform in accordance with the terms of the contract.

I'm afraid I believe that business is business and personal is personal with me. Yes I've experienced loss in my life, many times, but you have to continue to work after a couple of days and if you have a business you have to tend to it.
Unless the loss was so devistating that the person has to be hospitalized to cope with the depression they should be honoring their contracts or refunding any monies they have taken in for un-preformed services.

Were I you I would be looking to recover my funds through another means. ie. If you paid through Pay Pal or a Credit Card file a claim.

The loss of anyone close to you is a really heartbreaken event. Regrettably there are individuals (bear with me I'm not saying this is the case) that play the sympathy card way to often. I would agree to give him a few days/weeks and then ask for your payment. Of course if you find out he is conducting business as usual right away, it's only fair to consider that what's owed to you has the same degree of importance as any other business transactions. If that's the case he should be reminded of what he owes you.

I did ask Paypal for a refund, they were only able to recover a fraction. The guy keeps making excuses about sending the balance and I have insisted and even told him I'd take some action.
The thing is, I have a tender heart. If I'm being taken, I can get up and holler with the best of them if I have a mind to.
But if I post his name and it turns out he really did have this happen, I would never, ever forgive myself.

Originally Posted by lucille

But if I post his name and it turns out he really did have this happen, I would never, ever forgive myself.

It really shouldn't be too difficult to find out whether his claims are true or not. If you know where he lives, see if you can access the county records to find out if a death certificate was filed. If that doesn't work, Google his, or his daughter's, name and see what turns up.

Perhaps I'm a cynic but I smell something fishy.
Let's assume for a second that his story is true. Even with something so horrible as the death of a child, I personally would take a few minutes to refund money owed, and explain that if you still needed the supplies in a month or two to get back with me, but until then I was suspending business.
Unless he personally was incapacitated for some reason, there's really no excuse for more that a few days to a week delay at most in refunding the money. If you've had time to go through the paypal process, then I would assume that it has been longer than that.
That may sound cold to some, but I feel my personal crises are not really the concern of my customers and I would just refund any money that was paid in unfinished deals and then get on with what I needed to do.

Now, if he is lying, then he's a pathetic sorry piece of . I would hope that he has no children at all, for if someone who was a parent used that excuse when it wasn't true, then that's most horrible of all.

I'm not real familiar with how to do some of those searches. I'd like help, please.
I decided to start a BOI thread, not naming him a bad guy, just saying he has my money. There is a link to his business, if anyone would help I would be grateful.