Man, I guess that's what I get for not keeping up on the latest news regarding my place of residence. I would have been there for sure...
Well, looks like all these years of being an honest, hard-working, law abiding citizen have finally paid off - I GET TO BE A CRIMINAL
YEAH!!!!!!!!! I've always wanted to do illegal
You know, things like breeding Cornsnakes, watering my Ball Pythons, giving hands-on lectures for grades K-12, where the can actually see and touch the crack cocaine, I mean automatic weapons, I mean Bearded Dragons...
So let me get this straight. In Ohio, I can walk through the local dairy with a concealed weapon, send my under age child to purchase alcohol at my local "drive-thru" so I can later consume it behind the wheel while driving under suspension from my 4th DUI, beat my wife or girlfriend (...but only twice - third time they'll get ya) slash tires, steal cars, and even watch as my oldest son is off fighting for FREEDOM in Iraq!! He's willing to make the ultimate
sacrifice for his/mine/yours/our country...as of all of our beloved troops.
...man, what a waste. He'll be pi$$ed coming home to find that Saddam, I mean, Osama, I mean our local govt has taken away his hobby, his passion, our animals...
Hey, I got an idea...after the US gets done dumping BILLIONS of dollars into the middle east, fixing all of THEIR problems (while we basically IGNORE places of interest like hmmmm....the US and all of OUR problems)
and get them trained to kill - just like we did Bin Laden, then maybe I can move over there to get away from all the child abuse, violence, poverty, disease, and oh, let's not forget the Leopard Gecko breeding, and dictatorshit that goes on over here
Tell me we can't find a cure for cancer...
On a lighter note: city schools are doing just fine, crimes against innocent children are on the rise, unemployment is at an all time high in some areas, and we now have over 2,135,000 men and women incarcerated in state and federal funded facilities. 51% of those men and women suffer from an addiction to a "controlled" substance. Non-violent offenders...ahhh...I dream of the day...Prisons filled with herion addicts, potheads, kids that never had a chance, and of course - the dreaded reptile keeper. Soon our streets will be safe. Ran only by the suppliers of those "controlled" substances, child abusers, violent criminals, and crooked politicians.
Haiti, here I come...