This ones for all the men to reply to.

I am having some problems and need some advice from a man who is or used to be A.defensive and can never do wrong, and B. rebellious to the point your hurting yourself and the effects dribble down to others. Both A and B are my Fiancee, and in the long run he'll break my heart but hes the one living with all of his flaws until the end.

So my question is how do you get a man like this to listen to you?? To see his wrongs? Threatening to break up doesn't work, balling doesn't anymore, and separation isn't an option with our finances. Breaking up would be final. I am SO mad right now!! If I wanted kids and I wanted to do it all by myself I would of opted to be a single Mother.

All of a sudden last night and today its all his money and he doesn't have to pay for what he doesn't want to. In a relationship our views are both right. Its your money but its "our" money at the same time. You don't let your other go without money do you? An you pay your bills for being able to be with eachother. He wants stupid freakin Tarantulas with Income Tax and I want A. Most importantly a car. B. All my other babies token care of FIRST! C. A FEW things for us and our house so that we may live here comfortably, the operative word being comfortable! An then D. Paying a few bills. This should all come first in my opinion.

Hes also having 1 or 2 of these Geckos were taking in. I mean I'm not buying any Snakes I desperately want. I'm sick and tired of it! E. He was of course an only child. I mean I always get flamed on here but people seem to forget I'm not the only Herper in the house and you can't force anything on anybody. HE bought Gex, both Spiders, the Scorpion, and Piccolo! HE wanted Piccolo and never looked up a care sheet first and I told him no. HE wanted to feed Piccolo to the Chilean and when I had to syringe feed he whined and complained and didn't want to help and as I sat there crying when Piccolo was in the Chileans tank for a split second before I felt through my own personal Exotic morals cheered his Spider on all the while me crying.

Don't get me wrong he is a good guy, I've seen a lot worse but he refuses to hear me out or change anything, he refuses a lot and I just can't live like this! I'm not talking about him changing him or his personality just changing some routine things. Things that will better us. So anyways I really need to know how to get a man like this to listen and take into consideration.

Girl, get rid of the boy and find a man.

That or you get to be mommy.

Seriously, he's, if all is as you say, not ready for an adult relationship.

You cant change him. Change only comes from within. And it all starts with being brutally honest with yourself. Until a person is ready to do that, change is impossible.

Somebody, any Moderator PLEASE delete this post!!! I'm embarrassed now. I sincerely wanted the advice, I just shouldn't of posted that much info. I'm calm now. I don't mind any of my babies at all and love having them. I just wish he would put the T's on hold or make them the last thing to get. The two Geckos were getting I told the guy I couldn't rehome or take them in without their setups which is true because I have no spare heating parts let alone nine. As I said its not about changing its about listening and compromising and for the love of the all Mighty can a girl get a few sincere Thanks once in awhile!! I'm just frustrated. I don't think finding a "Man" would help the older guy younger girl scenario is most of the time fruitless and gross. I guess girls just really do mature many years faster then men?

Originally Posted by Leighanne

the older guy younger girl scenario is most of the time fruitless and gross.

ouch, lol

Originally Posted by hhmoore

ouch, lol

Some just know how to kick us.....

Leighanne, you will never change him. Anybody can change but they have to put their mind to the concept. This is like being an addict, you have to acknowledge the problem before you can correct the issue. Dealing with the symptoms doesn't cure the issue and the potential for it to always surface will be there. He needs to realize, and I mean really realize, what he is doing and make up his mind to the idea he is wrong. You can threaten and scream and cry but none of that matters until you can actually put the threat to action.

Age has little to do with being a man.

You asked for advice, you got it.

I would recommend you think a lot more before letting your fingers express themselves. This seems to be a habit of yours.

You too are very young which isn't a fault but you just don't have that much experiance with life like some of us do.

I was sincere. If this is his attitude for true, you'd be better off without him.

I'm out of this one but I was sincere.

Nah Wilomon I see what you meant, and whats sad is he is the most laid back, mature, hard working kind of guy I have ever meet. He just has problems sometimes seeing my versoin, talking in general (hes quit) , looking in the mirror at himself and what hes doing. I can break ALL kinds of relationship factors down, boys versus girls, but I just don't see why he does what he does. Freakin men! Do you guys think me dissolving some Estrogen pills in his drinks would work?

I will tell you this, anything that gets on your last nerve now will get 100x worse after you tie the knot.

These guys have answered the questions you have 100% right the way I see it too.

Oh, we are not getting married for a LONG time.