my dumb a** ex

so, im checking my mail today and i have an email from my loser exfiance quoting a poem that i once gave him...i had written it when i was really young and i had found it once when we were together and dedicated it to him...........this piece of sh** put me through so much crap......the NERVE of thinking he has the right to just email me like that wanting to be friends again...heres the email...........

You are my rose,
You are my flower.
You are my destiny,
You are my power.
You are the wind that blows through my hair.
You are my life,
You give me air.
To breathe, to walk,
To talk, to run.
You are my moon.
You are my sun.
You are my heart,
YES, you are the one.

remember when you found that and wtote it to me?!
it's a nice poem. i like it a lot. listen Rana, i want
you to remember that before we were anything we were
friends and still to this day we are spiritual brother
and sister, don't ever forget that. i still love you.
i always think about you and your family, and how you
are all doing. i still care, so much. i hate the fact
that we can't speak. i don't know if it's easier for
you to just want to shut everything out and forget all
our memories, but i want you to know that i wont
forget. i can't pretend like i never knew you. Rana,
you played a huge role and getting me out of the world
and to where i am today. i really needed you. and i'll
always be thankful to God for that. i hope you are
to.

i really want to know how you're doing and also how
you feel? please write me back.


love,
michael

can you believe it.....he has the nerve to write love, michael...i hate that.... after all he put me through and he still wants to be friends... and he makes it seem like nothing ever happened....oh if you only knew the situation...and you know what..im not the type at all to ever hold a grudge..im telling you..you could do something to me that really kills and apologize and the next day all is forgotten..i hate having enemies...but you know what..there are some ppl out there that are just unforgivable..im sorry but thats how it is...i used to hate him with passion...and then it turned into pity.....and now...i dont know what it is..but i know that i dont think i can ever look him in the eyes again without and im sooooooo not writing back..to think he would even ask me to... i shouldnt right back..right? yah..or course i shouldnt..he doesnt deserve to hear from me....

Rana,
I can relate to your situation. I left my ex-wife because she repeatedly cheated on me. After eleven years of trying to work it out, (I didn't want my three kids from a broken marriage), I finally left her. It was surprisingly easy because I didn't care for her at all. She was actually on her hands and knees begging me to stay and I calmly said, "I don't love you anymore. I don't want you to be my wife. There is nothing you can do or say to make me change my mind." Well, that's when she got the big picture. I know what I did sounds harsh, but keep in mind she kept sleeping with her sisters husband.

My point is that I think you should let him know how you feel. Wait until you are not angry and then either call or email him. I would be clear, to the point and leave no room for doubt. The truth hurts. He needs to hear it so he can move on and leave you alone. Just be calm and honest and shorter is better.

Good luck, Art

I dated a guy for a month my junior year in high school, he was my first bf and lived across the street. He cheated on me in front of his house on my birthday while I was waiting for him so we could go out to dinner. You'd think that would be a relationship that ended smoothly. Well, no. The whole time I was dating my next bf, my stupid x sat on his porch and would threaten us from across the street. Then the idiot proposed to me after I graduated! What started to get even more psycho was when I would come home from being with my fiance now, and my x would be sitting at my kitchen table having coffee with my mom. I would lock myself in my room until he'd leave. This happened twice, and he didn't get the hint the first time. The second time I purposely talked about how cute my fiance was and how much I loved him, then my x never did that again. When he finally moved to NC 2 yrs later, even though we hadn't even spoken, he made it a point to write me a goodbye letter and stuck it in my mailbox. The guy was married to another girl, and I really couldn't stand him. He shot me in the leg with a pellet gun on purpose when I started dating my high school bf!
It just goes to show you that some people live in their own dilusional la-la land.

kate...lala land is right..the guy shot you!!!!
and art..no it doesnt sound harsh at all..just got what she deserved...but you know what..i dont know if i could call him like that..i dont want to hear his stupid voice again...you see...we were together for a year and half...and we got engaged..which is taken VERY seriously in my culture..middleeastern...and we had a huge party..130 ppl, and even one of our "priests" gave a speech for us..now..a week before the engagement, i was having, i guess you could say, cold feet,,so i sat him down and talked to him about it..and thats another story in itself so i wont go there..but basically, everything went okay and i felt like a million pounds were lifted off my shoulders..anyway..so a couple weeks after the engagement..i get a call from him telling me that he doesnt think this is gonna work out and we have different goals..and blah blah...okay..thats not the reason i refuse to forgive him...a few days after that he calls me and tells me that he thinks we were in lust not in love..im like no no..YOU were in lust..speak for yourself..its not my fault you dont know the difference..and he also tells me that he wanted me just for my body...ok...a year and half after being with someone and engaged..you dont just tell them that...and so a couple of "priests" how would i say this...scolded him, because he didnt have any good reason to just break off a serious engagement,,and in our culture..again i say..big deal...so a few WEEKS after he breaks up with me...he starts giving the excuse that he thinks i was cheating...ok...if you knew me at all...you would know that thats impossible...im a very religous person, and in the bible, its a sin to cheat..and he failed to mention the time where he and his sister and her friend decided to watch tv in his room on his bed,,mind you...they have 4 TVs in the house...all bigger than my living room,,and the tv in his room is smaller than my comp. screen..make any sense..no...and they fell asleep and his sister woke up and went to her bedroom and he "woke up" next to that girl..and they used to have a "thing" in the past and that girl still like him...logical thing to do? no...the reason he accused me of cheating was because a friend from work had called me a couple times to say goodbye after they had let me go from work, and he was the one that knew the real reason why and he wanted to tell me...ppppfffffffffttttttt...is all i have to say...everyone used to tell me...if a person is THAT jealous, he has to be hiding something..and i defended him to the end..and even after we got engaged he used to tell me things like.."i think it would be "easier" on us if we saw eachother maybe once or twice a month..so it wont be difficult on us physically or emotionally since our wedding was still 9 months away"...BS...he lived an hour and half away... so you see...if someone chooses to tell me that they only wanted me for my body, hurtful...but whats WORSE....if i get ACCUSED of cheating for absolutely no good reason.......UNFORGIVABLE...so i dont know how i could find it in me to call him and not bring up that subject...........

Rana: The first step in releasing something negative is to do exactly what you are doing: verbalize your feelings.
Another step is more difficult: time. Deep emotions both positive and negative become entrenched in our being and it just takes a while to let go.
I'm glad you are here and perhaps the Fauna community can sympathize, entertain, and in general help the time go by, that needs to go by. You are a very nice person and deserve much better than what happened to you.

thanks for your kind words lucille..and everybody...i guess im numbing myself to the situation..but i know ill never see men the same..might be wrong of me..but still..

Dear such and such,

I received your letter and did not want to simply let it go unaddressed. I have no interest, of any kind, in starting a dialogue with you. I have moved on and my future is bright. I am requesting that you do not contact me ever again and I would highly encourage you to move on.

Sincerely,

Rana

thats great griz....you know what..i was THINKING of righting him something very similar to that yesterday. just about how im doing great and theres no hard feelings and i dont really consider him anything in my life but a mere acquaintance, so i dont want to keep in touch..something along that line.........but i changed my mind and didnt write him.

GUESS WHAT!! i wrote him back...finally, after lonnng thought...this is what i said...
michael,


i received your letter and did not want to simply let it go unanswered...to be honest, im doing realllly well, and life is going great for me, im a reg. auxillary pioneer in the arabic congregation and i have my own business now,,and theres a lot thats keeping me busy,,and its great!!! i understand that you still are my spiritual brother, but thats all you are to me, no hard feelings..i have great family and friends and honestly the past is the past,and no offense, but youre in my past,, i dont think there is a need or want to start or rekindle any kind of friendship..i have moved on and love my life, and i suggest you do the same, you dont need to write me back because it ends here.. take care of yourself.

rana jamil

i was soo happy to get that off my chest..and i think i made my point perfectly clear

Well written Rana. I would ignore any future letters from him. Responding further will simply allow the dialogue between the two of you to remain open and from the sound of it, that is not what you want. If he keeps it up just use the block email filter.

Griz