It's the Real Thing

Originally Posted by sirenofthestorm

LOL are you looking for a sugar momma?

My g/f does much of the work with the animals since I work more hours at a reg job than she does.

I think the 'real thing' choices are important, whatever way you share your days, and what needs to be done; the main thing is that you have someone that will be there, when you need them..

we have been married for three years dated for 6, i meeet her on the internet. i lived in cali and she lived in il, it took me about a year to move out (luckly my corporate office was here). we have a buetiful 3 year old girl. at times relationships can be hard but that is what makes the good times so much better, i would not have it anyother way.

First three and last five is what I'm wanting. I have a long-term girlfriend right now and I love her. We've been dating over six months now.

I haven't read through all the posts yet, getting late, or should i say early LOL and i have to work but i wanted to put in my two cents worth before i headed to dreamland LOL.

A real relationhip to me is summed up into one word: communication. Without it, most relationships whether lovers or friends, family or work related, will fall. And communication doesnt' just mean being able to talk it also means being able to listen, really listen.

My engagement fell apart because we stopped talking. There needs to be a dialog. Being able to share your passions, hopes, dreams, desires, needs, wants, fears, abitions, goals. And because these things change as we get older we need to be able to tell eachother. It was hard to pick just one thing from that list in the poll. Almost all of them are important; being accpeted for who i am, coming home to someone, being able to create a family.

Someone mentioned how much work a relationship is and work is the correct word. I've always known that relationships took work but what i didnt' know, what i've learned is that talking can be hard. And for someone like me, nicknamed by my family as "motormouth" i didnt' think that it would be hard to talk but it is.

I don't even really know what to say here...THINKING about "relationships" is enough to scare anyone off. The commitment you make, which may or may not pay off 5-10 yrs down the road when the person cheats on you, lies, becomes abusive etc., is never a guarantee...even if you have it in writing. Maybe I'm cynical, or just jaded...but I don't care for the term "love". It's overused, completely without honor, sincerity, or substance these days. I don't trust that word taken in today's context. People say they '"love" their cell phone in the same context as they say "love you hunnie" when you're walking out the door & as soon as it closes they're on the PC with someone else or on the phone setting up a rendezvous. I don't have the attention span or tolerance for fakery...so I guess that's why I''m getting seperated

Originally Posted by Python Lara

The commitment you make, which may or may not pay off 5-10 yrs down the road when the person cheats on you, lies, becomes abusive etc., is never a guarantee...even if you have it in writing.

The thing is, in life there is only one guarantee.......death. Other than that everything else is just chance. I've pretty much given up hope of finding my *soulmate*. I still believe i will have the opportunity to meet a man of similar interests, goals etc. who will want to make a go of it with me, but to find that ONE person just for me, i'm not so sure. I mean, of all the pple in the world, of all the places he could be, how can i expect or hope that he'll be in MY area. What are the chances of that actually happening? I'm almost at a point of no longer believing that person exists.

I'm not actively looking for a mate/partner. I'm going on with my life, making myself happy but i'll always keep my eyes open and be aware of opportunities to meet guys. My views have changed a bit in that i no longer feel incomplete because i'm single. Now its more about becoming all i can be and if a man comes into my life then thats fine but its not a requirement. I'll join some clubs, take some classes but not because i want to meet men, although i'm sure it'll help....i'm doing it because its what i want to do. Again leaving things up to chance.

Let me tell a little story about soulmates and how unexpected life is.

First off, I do not believe there is ONE person for each person. Life is too chancy, there is more than one or things wouldn't happen the way they do.

20 years ago I got a job and became friends with my foreman. I fell in love with him (thought we were getting married) and ended up going a different way and leaving him behind. Shortly before my leaving he introduced me to his sister. 3 days after meeting her I was living with her and her family. We just "clicked".

18, almost 19, years later she and I are still the best of friends. days, weeks, sometimes months go by that we don't see each other or speak. (She lives 5 houses down from me.) The longest we have gone without communicating was 1 year. She is always there for me and I for her. We understand each other well enough that even when we DON'T quite get each other it's still OK. We bleed for each other, tear each other apart, laugh together, and love each other. If she was a guy we would have an AWESOME thing going......but she says the same thing about me

I still love her brother and always will. If he ever needs me I am there for him even though I haven't so much as seen him in 3 years. He will always be one of my best friends, even if I never see him again. SHE will always be a part of me no matter what. Where ever I go, whomever I'm with, whatever I feel, she's there. Emotional chick stuff? Maybe, but it works for me.

Are we soulmates? I think so. Did I choose this? No, but I am very happy to have this in my life. She is a part of me and I am never alone. It is the PERSON that makes the difference. Will we live together happily ever after, probably not. We have grown to like our differences which are vast and would cause tremendous conflict if we were too close for too long.

Our relationship is not romantic, although at one point in our lives it probably could have been. The physical is best left to lust and hormones, the friendship endures based entirely on the emotional bond.

IMO, you shouldn't have expectations about finding that special someone. You never know who it will be. Let life happen and when you "feel" someone may be special to you give them a chance. My best friend has hurt me more than anyone else in the world. She's lied to me, hidden things from me, turned her back on me....but I have done the same to her and we forgave each other our humanity and got past it.

Let yourself love. When it's right it will stay with you. Don't give up, don't give in.

OMG Kiote, how very true. I do believe we have soulmates but that it doesn't restrict us to just that one person. In my experience sometimes being with your soulmate isn't possible, the timing is just off.

To love is a gift, one that should be shared as much as possible, for this world really needs it.

As for my soulmate. I have known him for years and we always felt a strong connection but just recently he called me his soulmate and i do believe he is mine. From the first moment i met him, heard his voice, i felt like i'd known him all my life. The thing is we can't share a long life together, he's dying of cancer. It breaks my heart to just type that but i am now at peace with it. I believe in past lives and in future ones.....and in this one, we found eachother yet again. The lesson i have learned is not to take even one minute for granted for perhaps it is your last. I will treasure every minute i have with this man and as much as i know a part of me will die with him, i can go on with my life knowing that i loved and was loved.

And if love again stops at my door then i will be very lucky, but i wont be as sad now if it doesn't.

I was sitting here thinking about it and i wanted to add this. I don't think a soulmate necessarily means a sexual partner or lover. I have never been physically intimate with my soulmate, thats not what makes us so close. Theres an intamcy that goes much deeper than that. I wanted to see what the definition of soulmate was but its not listed in the dictionary.......weird. Soul is defined as the "immortal part of man or human being" so i wonder if our soulmate is simply another soul we share each life with (but that would only work if you believe in reincarnation LOL).

Oh well...in any case, i'm glad i found my soulmate

Red