Funny Day

OK, I am told that until people get to know me I seem intimidating with a no bs attitude. I'm just quiet until I get to know you. My dad was same way.

So Wed I had fire alarm testing being done. The 2 guys that were doing it said that they had to be at a hospital at a certain time and if would be OK if another guy could come on Thursday to do sprinkler test. I said sure.

Guy shows up and is new guy. Only been there 5 months. I know almost all of them down at the shop as I usually go down there 1 or 2 times a year to have used fire extinguishers refilled.

I said my backs been hurting so let's use elevator. As we wait for it our records clerk Colleen walks by and smiles. Colleen is a very pretty blond who looks late 30's and not late 50's which she is.

Once she get's out of ear shot this guy says, man I wouldn't mind spending some time with her! This guy is probably late 30's or early 40's. Old enough to know you shouldn't say something like that to someone you just met.

I look at him real serious like and go, THAT'S MY WIFE!

This guys face completely drained and he starts backing up and stammering.

I go, Nah, Just messing with you. He get's in elevator and leans against wall. I started laughing then he did to. I said be careful what you say to strangers at customers. He said, Oh yeah I learned my lesson.

After he was finished I walked him out and told him to stay away from married women. He just grinned and turned red, lol.

Joe, that's funny. That's exactly the sort of thing I like to do with people who don't know me. Not everybody appreciates my deadpan delivery.

Here's one of my favorites. Go to the perfume counter of any department store. The more pretentious, the better. Approach the counter, tell the lady you're looking for your wife's favorite perfume. She'll ask you what it's called. Tell her you're looking for it, as you look around the displays.
Then, the delivery- "Here it is! Tester! She loves this stuff!"
Some will realize it's a joke, but the younger sales ladies will usually think you're serious.

lol, that does sound funny. A long time ago my wife asked me to pick up simple, single color cheap woman's tank tops for our vacation up on Put in Bay island. I just started looking and sales woman comes up to me. I tell her what I'm looking for and she says do you know what size? I said I wasn't sure. She says do you know how much she weighs? I said last week at doctors she weighed 482 pounds. She was happy she lost 10 pounds. You should have seen that girls face, lol. I said no, she's about 140, lol. She giggled the whole rest of the time she helped me.