What happened to the HAYDEN Banner???

An expansion on my last post:

Intents doesn't always equal result. You (as in anyone in general) only need to take a brief glimps at the herp world to see how cuttthroat and imamture it CAN be. Now take the noblest of intentions and you better expect the same things to happen as it does in other areas of any part of life.

Heck, you see more controversy in noble endeavors even more then the mundane.

In the future, as traggic things happen regularly, I would look as the following as a good guideline:

1. Ask the person what help they need.
2. Keep privacy a concern and respect the victims wishes fully.
3. Keep it low key and direct. Why have part of my money go to the victim becasue some of it is redirected to an auction item. Just put some information out (donations, flowers, etc info) and have ONE! Point of Contact.

Though its too late to straighten this garbage out, maybe in the future it will bring more relief then stress to someone else.

Originally Posted by romad119

An expansion on my last post:

Intents doesn't always equal result. You (as in anyone in general) only need to take a brief glimps at the herp world to see how cuttthroat and imamture it CAN be. Now take the noblest of intentions and you better expect the same things to happen as it does in other areas of any part of life.

Heck, you see more controversy in noble endeavors even more then the mundane.

In the future, as traggic things happen regularly, I would look as the following as a good guideline:

1. Ask the person what help they need.
2. Keep privacy a concern and respect the victims wishes fully.
3. Keep it low key and direct. Why have part of my money go to the victim becasue some of it is redirected to an auction item. Just put some information out (donations, flowers, etc info) and have ONE! Point of Contact.

Though its too late to straighten this garbage out, maybe in the future it will bring more relief then stress to someone else.

Sometimes things don't work the way that you would hope. The original intent was to have the fundraising focused in one spot. Not everyone was there, and they couldn't have known because we were keeping things quiet until we got an OK. A few different people went out of their way to begin separate funds - not knowing, at first, about the original idea. I don't fault these people at all. What they did came from the heart, and the results shouldn't be much different from 3 funds to 1 fund. Everyone's intentions were pure in the beginning - it's only after many assumptions were made, and the poisoning began, that this has become warped out of control.

Would it have been better to have one single focus spot? Yes. However - nothing was hurt by the fact that there was more then one focus. It wouldn't have been possible to tell EVERYONE who frequents the forum what the plans were while keeping it quiet at the same time. If you take out the personal squabbles, then what the community has done on a whole is amazing.

As for the auctions, and them not being appropriate. I ask why not? To give you my personal perspective - in the same week that this tragedy befell Kelli my A/C broke, as well as my car. I hardly have enough money for the next week or two to feed my husband, the animals, and myself, and pay mandatory bills. I would only be able to spare $5.00, which doesn't match the hole that I felt in my heart. So, instead, I am donating my time and my talent and I'm creating a painting for the auction. This painting can and will have a much larger effect then my $5.00 would have had. Auctions can and do produce a much greater fund raising effect. It's not nice to think about, but the nature of people dictates that the wallet will open wider if the person feels they are getting something in return.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I grew into a man, I put my childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection in the mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I only know in part; then shall I know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love; but the greatest of these is love.


1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Originally Posted by Golden Gate Geckos

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I grew into a man, I put my childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection in the mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I only know in part; then shall I know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love; but the greatest of these is love.


1 Corinthians 13:4-13

That could, and should, be the greatest end ever to a thread.

Yes, the auctions do help but they also create the storm that they did. Maybe auctions could have sent the proceeds to the victim anonymously. I just wouold put an announcemnt out about the situation and / or ask for donations. Normnal auction proceedings could have sent the procedds to the family. Anything to help out without people trying to have the spotlight shine on them. Maybe in the future.

Originally Posted by romad119

Yes, the auctions do help but they also create the storm that they did. Maybe auctions could have sent the proceeds to the victim anonymously. I just wouold put an announcemnt out about the situation and / or ask for donations. Normnal auction proceedings could have sent the procedds to the family. Anything to help out without people trying to have the spotlight shine on them. Maybe in the future.

Good post but
I would also like to add that the auction itself created no such storm. Nobody that posted an Auction or bid on one that I am aware of did anything of the sort. The bitterness that you see has nothing to do with the actual donators and bidders. Some of the donators and bidders have done more privately so 100 percent of the bid could go where it belongs. You are unaware of a lot.

the good things usually are those that go unaware. Its the negative and bad that people eat up.