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Just For Laughs The SOLE purpose of this forum is to put a smile on the face of a person reading the messages. Anything of a SERIOUS nature will either be deleted or moved out of here.

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Old 01-31-2005, 08:00 PM   #1
bendee31
The Most Dangerous Snake in the World

The Most Dangerous Snake in the World - Dicktetaria Trouserius
(Trouser Snake)




LOCATION : Throughout the world.

DESCRIPTION : one eyed, with mushroom shaped head (other types come
with extra layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang less with
a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2 -3 feet).
Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and sub-
species.

SYMPTOMS : This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by
excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.

BEWARE : It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen.

HABITAT : Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in
the most unusual places.

ANTIDOTE : Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once
the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure
complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED

TOURNIQUET : Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the
body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND : This would be completely unnecessary and
ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND : This method is the most popular with the victim,
but so far has not reported to have led to any success.

SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM:
Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile,
with the thumb in the front.
Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid
and start spitting.
The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker
and the last time the snake attacked.
Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.

CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is
not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a
wonderful pet.
 
Old 01-31-2005, 11:35 PM   #2
Karen Hulvey
That is too funny!
 
Old 02-02-2005, 03:15 AM   #3
Bringerofdoom
OMG that was soo funny
 

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