Herper's nite out....

I understand completely, Red!!! I hate dating. I hate the whole "getting to know you period." I hate the risk. This is why I tend to be a serial monogomist; I tend to find someone with possibilities and give it a go. BUT, maybe this is why I keep ending up with frogs instead of princes.

.

LOL!! Do you really need me to explain??

.

Originally posted by Sybella
LOL!! Do you really need me to explain??

Someone might find it interesting. So go ahead take a shot and explain..

I understand completely what she is saying. Been that way most of my life. However, one lady did tell me "life is too short to angle for just one fish at a time" which also makes sense. Then when you do find that one person who may very well be compatible, go for it. If you just end up with a compatible frog, well, its better than a toad with warts (or hairy ogre) thats not compatible.

Others mileage may vary...

Kevin

I guess thats true, going for something at the time instead of waiting or putting it off while hoping for another chance. But are you saying dating multiple people at the same time or just going out on dates when your not really with someone?

My last BF and i were best friends first, we could talk about anything and really enjoyed spending time together, that is until we started dating. I knew right off the bat, it wasn't going to work but i stayed with him for a year. Four years with the one before that (that was the one i was engaged to). I've also done the dating bounce thing too, going from first date to first date with it never resulting in anything more.

After all of that, i'm now rather picky. That will ruin me eventually, and i'll remain single for my life but i can't help it. Theres just some characteristics i want in a mate and i'm no longer willing to settle for what ever frog comes along. I want my prince. It would also be nice for him to make the first move, show interest in me although if i see someone i'm attracted to i will come up to bat lol.

Once i am dating someone it seems only right to stay monogomis to them especially if things are working out great. Its getting to that point, finding the person i click with thats hard.

Red

I am referring to talking with and possibly dating multiple people until you have met someone you are sure has potential for a LTR. Then you should go for that individual exclusively in my opinion. Personally, I just do not have the time or desire to date multiple ladies. One good woman would take all my energy anyway as I try to please in all areas.

I certainly know what you mean by being picky Red. I have even been proposed to by three different ladies in the past few years, but knew they were not what I was seeking. Sometimes, however, we can be too picky and lose something good. We may not realize it at the time and I guess thats for the best. Is not the grass always greener on the other side of the fence (and I am not talking Cannabis here)?

Kevin

I agree, playing the field works to help in finding that right person. And i also agree that dating one person can take up all of ones time in that your trying to do everything to make things work. Seems i'm lacking the energy to do even that these days, work is kiling me LOL

Lately i haven't had the opportunity to be picky. Theres a few guys i've known for a while who are interested, but not in long term marriage/kids type of stuff, just the every now and then when i need you type. Talk about annoying!!!

Now i would have been married with kids if my fiance hadn't thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. His choice resulted in a 4 year relationship ending. Again his choice so when he returned on his knees, i wasn't jumping for joy. I've learned that i can't rely 100% on anyone but myself and i think i'm scared to date. I don't want to be left with a mortgage and kids to look after when he feels the need to venture out.

I know not all people are like that and i'm not saying i'm judging every man now because of him, i'm just not in a financial position to be able to take a chance on being left high and dry.

And your right, seeing as i've been picky and not willing to let everyone in i've lost out on a few really good men. Unfortunetly i did realize it sooner than later.

I want a LTR, i want a husband and children but i hate the fact that i will have to do the dating thing, bouncing from man to man in order to find Mr. Right. At least i'm older, more mature, understand exactly it is i'm looking for. That should make it easier right?

Red

Red,

You certainly have a good head on your shoulders and articulate yourself very well. I think you will find that man that will please you sooner than later!

Kevin