My personal ad I posted, have a laugh :p

Okay.. so desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just thought you guys would get a kick out of my personal ad. I know, I'm a bore, lol
Have fun!

"I am recently out of a 6 year relationship. I'm not looking for a "hook up", I do not do that.
I'm looking for a male companion, to eventually be in a relationship, to spend weekends and my downtime with, go to the movies, all that junk I haven't done in 6 years, and who would eventually like to settle down.
I have a son who is just turned 3, but you would not be introduced to him for at least a year or more, I don't want him to be put through the pain I am.
I am a school bus driver during the day (so I have more god given patients than most people have in a group as a whole). If you do not like kids, please do not waist my time.
I have a lot of pets, so if you are "not an animal person", again, please do not waist my time. If you have a fear of reptiles and you aren't willing to work on that, specifically the legless kind... well, don't waist YOUR time!
If you smoke anything other than cigarettes, sorry, not interested.
I'm not a big partier, and no, I don't enjoy "swinging". I do drink on occasion though.
I like to cuddle once I get to know you, so if you're going to "grow out of that in 6 years", move on. I enjoy someone who likes to show affection. I do enjoy someone who takes care of themselves. You don't have to be built by any means, but please, if you can eat your weight in chips in one sitting and rarely bathe.. Sorry. A JOB would be nice too, but these are hard times, just please don't be a bum.
If you have ever even thought about or considered cheating, do not waist my time. And yes, talking to someone on the computer and telling them they are hot IS cheating.
If you think in time you could choose your friends over me, please, do not waist my time.
If you are looking for your average, run of the mill girl with long hair who wears name brand cloths and has lots of friends, click on my dear, that's not me. I'd be lucky to say if I have 1 real friend, and I don't hang out with them 24/7.
I have short hair and I like it, it's NOT buzzed, I have bangs, it's just not to my shoulders. I LOOK like a girl, I have boobs, a butt, and I dress like one. I'm pretty short, not more than 5' tall. Deep blue eyes, skinny, but I'm no anorexic, I'm about 130 lbs. I have my bridge and my nose pierced, and one tattoo, my son's name, on my wrist. I dress how I feel like, couldn't give you an exact idea of a type. Pretty strange sence of humor, not twisted or crazy, just don't think "pointless" movies and all that go along with them are amuzing.
I do not particularly enjoy most rap songs, I'm more of a rock, industrial, country girl.
I will admit, I am a little insecure at the moment and will take some time to really trust someone, but if you think you migt be interested, e-mail me and we'll go from there."