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Board of Inquiry® This forum is provided exclusively for the discussion of specific persons or businesses in the herp industry. |
12-01-2015, 12:44 PM
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#11
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Ms. Craig are going to read what I write and take it the wrong way. Please. Take it for the factual meaning it is. I am saying this to save a friend ship and make your problem go away. Some times you have to suck it up and take one for the team.
You understand where you screwed up right? Conflict resolution never begins with one person telling the other person to calm down. In fact, 90% of time, it makes mediation impossible with out a 3rd party. By telling her to calm down and explain herself, you just tossed her under what she thought was a bus. She concluded that anything she says or does is 100% invalid in your eyes. That is what SHE thinks.
This is why she can not explain to you what happen. You already concluded, in her eyes, that she does not have a point with you.
So there is two ways forward.
A.) You admit to her that you completely screwed the pooch on this one. You over reacted, you became irrational, and because of other stuff in your life, you placed her in a bad spot. Say you are sorry. THEN ask her for help. ASK her how you can fix this problem. Ask HER to help you. If she is in a rational state of mind and if you, in her mind, have not completely tossed her under the bus this might work.
B.) You need to get another personal to tell both of you that you acted like juveniles high schoolers. You need that person to tell both of you that friendship is not measured in moments of panic, but in the wiliness to seek comfort in each other after panic has resided. Whom ever you decide to get to do that, they need to be respected by both sides and willing to help.
I don't care about the he said she said. The cursing, backstabbing, and threats. I just want you two to start talking TO each other and not AT each other.
Even if you, Ms. Craig, feel that you did not do nothing wrong, the only way to move forward from this point with out resorting to name calling and hate, is to admit you screwed up.
If you don't want a friend at this point or want the mind numbing drama that will follow. Ship her the snakes, keep the snakes, or sell the snakes. It does not really matter, it will all led to bad blood.
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12-01-2015, 12:45 PM
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#12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElexisOrtiz
She doesn't have cages for them. I'm not going to send them when she doesn't have enclosures for them or the money to buy them. I cannot live with sending them where they won't have cages, or if they get lost or held up and they die. I've never shipped before so I do not want to risk it.
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Elexis,
It's not for you to decide, those are her snakes, not yours. Short of you being paid for their care, if that's what was agreed upon in the beginning, she needs to pay you. Then whether she has cages or not, the snakes are hers to do with as she pleases.
Again, whether we like it, or not, they belong to her, she can do what ever she likes with them, it's not for you to decide what you want, they're not yours.
Just my opinion....
Lynn Peterson
Big Time Reptiles
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12-01-2015, 12:56 PM
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#13
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wow !!! total basket case..
if i were you, make sure you have the message that mentiones anything about that 7th snake she told you to keep.
then, make sure you keep a solid reccord of the feeders and expenses for taking care of the snakes starting the momment you told her it wasn't free anymore, in fact keep it on this post as a regular update, she sure can see it here..
from there !!! best of luck dealing with her... maybe she will relax and come to her senses..
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12-01-2015, 01:26 PM
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#14
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If you do not want to ship because of the weather, and I understand that, at least take the high road and do not charge her for what you said you were going to do for free.
Avoid the drama, don't embrace it.
It may be that she will come to her senses and apologize for her meltdown, but that will never happen if you escalate the situation. Just avoid her until she talks to you in a civil manner. Don't go after her to talk, she does not appear to be ready for that, and it will only escalate the situation to force communication if she is not ready.
If it doesn't calm down for the two of you, just ship the 6 back when weather permits.
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12-01-2015, 01:28 PM
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#15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yeloowtang
wow !!! total basket case..
if i were you, make sure you have the message that mentiones anything about that 7th snake she told you to keep.
then, make sure you keep a solid reccord of the feeders and expenses for taking care of the snakes starting the momment you told her it wasn't free anymore, in fact keep it on this post as a regular update, she sure can see it here..
from there !!! best of luck dealing with her... maybe she will relax and come to her senses..
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I have everything. It'll take digging to get it, but I have it all. And I have an app I log all info in. Sheds, feeds, poops, etc. And that's how I figured out I already put 110.25 into her snakes just in feeders and that's the prices I choose to charge people for feeders, which are pretty reasonable. And by her last message it looks like she relinquished ownership then blocked me again.
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12-01-2015, 01:31 PM
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#16
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Is this not her saying to keep them? And everyone that had been following this since it first happened has said she basically abandoned them.
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12-01-2015, 01:35 PM
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#17
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You are so childish omg!!!! FOR EVERYONE'S INFO MY SNAKES ARE AT HER HOUSE BECAUSE I HAD NO OPTION BUT TO SELL THEM AND SEND THEM TO HER... CLEARLY I SHOULD HAVE SOLD THEM. THEY ARE STILL THERE BECAUSE MY LIVING SITUATION IS NOT GOOD OUR HOUSE IT UP FOR SALE AND MY HUSBAND WORKS IN ANOTHER STATE!!! Elexis OFFERED to care for them knowing I had hardly any money any snakes that's been aquired since has been rescues, or gifts from someone else not bought with my own money. When I had to send all my reptiles to her all my caging was stolen 1000$ worth. Not to mention she got a free hypo red tail for doing it for me despite me not having a single bit of money to help her!!!! When I did have money I asked if they needed anything she wouldn't even tell me!!!! I ordered stuff for them on 2 different occasions because she told me they needed something!!! If I could provide it I did and now she's doing this because I told her to go screw herself after choosing a group over friend ship..... oh hey wanna hear something funny the huge boa she has that she is breeding that she doesn't know it's genetics came to her with mites..... I helped her by buying her a bottle of reptile relief because she didn't have any money to get anything... yet I'm the bad person...... YOU OFFERED TO DO THIS FOR ME AND ARE NOW THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM SERIOUSLY ELEXIS GROW UP!!! THE ONLY REASON THEY AREN'T ON THEIR WAY TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW IS BECAUSE IT'S TO COLD!!!! GET OVER YOURSELF!!!
Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
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12-01-2015, 01:36 PM
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#18
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Alexis please edit your screen shots completely.
I suggest you wait until she calms down and tries to contact you, which she will.
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12-01-2015, 01:39 PM
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#19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missred
You are so childish omg!!!! FOR EVERYONE'S INFO MY SNAKES ARE AT HER HOUSE BECAUSE I HAD NO OPTION BUT TO SELL THEM AND SEND THEM TO HER... CLEARLY I SHOULD HAVE SOLD THEM. THEY ARE STILL THERE BECAUSE MY LIVING SITUATION IS NOT GOOD OUR HOUSE IT UP FOR SALE AND MY HUSBAND WORKS IN ANOTHER STATE!!! Elexis OFFERED to care for them knowing I had hardly any money any snakes that's been aquired since has been rescues, or gifts from someone else not bought with my own money. When I had to send all my reptiles to her all my caging was stolen 1000$ worth. Not to mention she got a free hypo red tail for doing it for me despite me not having a single bit of money to help her!!!! When I did have money I asked if they needed anything she wouldn't even tell me!!!! I ordered stuff for them on 2 different occasions because she told me they needed something!!! If I could provide it I did and now she's doing this because I told her to go screw herself after choosing a group over friend ship..... oh hey wanna hear something funny the huge boa she has that she is breeding that she doesn't know it's genetics came to her with mites..... I helped her by buying her a bottle of reptile relief because she didn't have any money to get anything... yet I'm the bad person...... YOU OFFERED TO DO THIS FOR ME AND ARE NOW THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM SERIOUSLY ELEXIS GROW UP!!! THE ONLY REASON THEY AREN'T ON THEIR WAY TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW IS BECAUSE IT'S TO COLD!!!! GET OVER YOURSELF!!!
Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
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I did not see your post while I was posting.
I suggest you and Elexis decide what to do about the snakes, they are live critters and this drama should not affect their care.
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12-01-2015, 01:39 PM
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#20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElexisOrtiz
She doesn't have cages for them. I'm not going to send them when she doesn't have enclosures for them or the money to buy them. I cannot live with sending them where they won't have cages, or if they get lost or held up and they die. I've never shipped before so I do not want to risk it.
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You can "live" with sending them to their rightful owner whom takes better care of them than anything else? The owner who sent u otherwise healthy snakes considering the abuse they were put through by the previous person I had them with that was suppose to be my roommate? Wow ok..... I did what I could for them in my screwed up situation and you want to judge? You are a petty child really you are.... if this Boi thread doesn't ruin me then you will have ruined yourself by looking like a petty child......
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElexisOrtiz
Apparently this is a boi issue, didn't know, posted in another section asking for advice.
So I have been watching 6 snakes for a "friend", the 7th she gave me and I made her confirm several times just in case something like this happened.
Well the other day she blew up in the group I have on facebook, and it appears it was just a rant and had nothing to do with my group but took it out on my group members and banned several people for saying the post was unnecessary and extremely vulgar and it was.
All that is relevant and you will see it in the screen shots I post after this. But while I was trying to figure out what happened thinking someone angered her in my group and after finding nothing started adding people back and lifting unjust bans she calls me a back stabber and a bad friend. Then threatens to ruin my life if I keep her snakes, which I never said I would. So I post the screen shots on fb to protect myself from anything she may say, and several people told me that by her actions the snakes are mine but that's not what I want.
She has been buying and taking in new reptiles while I'm still caring for her collection instead of buying the caging she needs for these animals. It was a slap in the face each time but let it go, she was my friend.
But after all hell breaks loose and she threatens me, etc I still tried to be civil and talk things out, but told her she will be paying for the care of the snakes from now on (is that right of me to do?) I was doing a favor for a friend, now it's even more of a burden caring for someone's snakes that had snapped on me, threatened me, and considers me a bad friend and no longer a friend.
Let the screen shots speak for them selves, notice how I say several times I DO NOT want to keep her snakes yet in the last message she unblocked me for she says I'm keeping them and then basically relinquished ownership? Of them.
I cannot ship them back until spring, it is far too cold where I live now, and where she lives. I won't risk the snakes lives.
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