Mitch Whyte (WHYTEARK)

Oh I got it sorry.

Are any gay people here offended by the phrase “feminine gay boys”?


https://youtu.be/zq7Eki5EZ8o

Originally Posted by Insomniac101

Since these threads are permanent, I hope that those who do a search, will at least give Mitch a chance.

Kathy

Obviously, I posted before Sean posted screenshots of his conversation with Mitch.

As others have said, Mitch's derogatory response was way out of proportion to Sean's disappointment in the gecko being sold.

No matter how angry I may be, I can't even imagine coming back at someone in that manner. Perhaps this thread was warranted; just not for the original complaint.

Kathy

He apologized for the one or two sentences he said, which I don't believe were truly of homophobic intent. I'm sure after all this he is even more sorry. Lets all try to be at least a little understanding. I mean seriously with the intensive goodness of the people here, we should turn the BOI into a dating website, and all the saints on here can start having babies, and all the evil will be bred out of the world.

Originally Posted by CMB Reptiles

Are any gay people here offended by the phrase “feminine gay boys”?

I am incredibly gay myself and I don't know why they would be, it's not like I insulted them? Just... used a descriptor.

Originally Posted by CMB Reptiles

He apologized for the one or two sentences he said, which I don't believe were truly of homophobic intent. I'm sure after all this he is even more sorry. Lets all try to be at least a little understanding. I mean seriously with the intensive goodness of the people here, we should turn the BOI into a dating website, and all the saints on here can start having babies, and all the evil will be bred out of the world.

Are you kidding me?!

I can't believe I'm hearing this. No, I will not be "understanding" to someone who immediately goes to extremely derogatory slurs like that because someone annoyed him. I mean, I understood him well, he's a man who thinks using those words as an insult is okay. Which it is not.

So, no, I won't be cutting him any slack.

Mitch made a pretty poor choice in the lobbing of insults. There is no doubt in my mind that this was plainly reactionary towards a poor review in response to a deal which never really even materialized that he felt was insulting to him. With the wording selected, it was an even more emotional response that has gone off the rails. However, that is not necessarily homophobic in its genesis. A large portion of an insult can come from asserting the recipient is something that the recipient is not. People insult males by calling them females or feminine regardless of whether or not they are. People insult females by calling them males or masculine regardless of whether or not they are. Females and males will insult other females and males by directing homosexual labels in their directions. Sometimes this is homophobic in its genesis. Sometimes this is not. Either is often perceived as being in poor taste, yes.

A lot of these insults are not based on a hatred or fear of the group characterized by the label, but instead is about jarring the mind of the recipient by tossing an ill-fitting label when it comes to the application to that individual. It is an insult of identity not necessarily because the label is "lesser" than that person's identity, but because the label is other than that person's identity. From what I have seen here, it could easily fall into the latter type of situation.

Your sex or your sexual orientation does not make you greater or lesser. Nor does an ill-fitting label. An ill-fitting label, however, may cause an emotional disjointing between external assignment and internal identity...in susceptible individuals. Some people are more resistant to this than others (and in different situations; a heated situation tends to lower resistance).

As a tangent to this, being part of a category of people does not mean one is a pan-categorical representative. One can definitely express what personally upsets oneself, but it does not provide global insight into what offends everyone (if everyone in a category can even find a particular insult attempt offensive in the first place). To assume that kind of role is to assume the subservience or unity of agreement of all other voices in the category. That is an arrogant position. If you feel it, it does not mean all others do. If you do not feel it, it does not mean all others do not. It is important to avoid falling into this trap in thinking because it is a very human notion to believe that others experience things the way one does as an individual.

As for the creation of this thread and the original motivation, I am not (on a personal level) seeing a "bad guy" basis for it. Breaking agreements are higher hurdles than expressing interest or intent and being beaten out. Fortune favors the bold. Act decisively or risk losing out. No one has to wait on your commitment and the earnestness of an intention in your mind is not an observation another party can know to be true even if you put that into words because enough people falsely offer such words frequently enough such that experienced sellers have long ago learned the adage that talk is cheap.

You should indeed be able to ask questions. Such is reasonable. I like to ask questions, too. When I ask questions without a commitment to purchase (and acceptance by the seller), I know that I am putting my acquisition opportunity at risk because someone may be acting while I am asking. That is not the seller's burden. That is the buyer's burden.

Chris, one more of your YouTube links or other insertions of intentional off-topic flotsam and I promise you a vacation from the site. You should know better by now.

Well shoot I did not agree with this bad guy post..but the last Email was rather uncalled for, such a shame the battle was already won.

I find it funny that breeders/sellers get a pass to talk to their customers in any manner they like. Try that in any other profession and see how it works out for you. I wouldn’t matter if you apologized or not. You would be fired on the spot. I work in maintenance and if I said something like that to an owner/renter I’d be looking for a new job. My wife is a Nurse and if she ever spoke to a patient like that she would be removed and the board would investigate her with the possibility of suspending her nursing license.

So you won’t get a pass from me

Originally Posted by nickolasanastasiou

One can definitely express what personally upsets oneself, but it does not provide global insight into what offends everyone (if everyone in a category can even find a particular insult attempt offensive in the first place). To assume that kind of role is to assume the subservience or unity of agreement of all other voices in the category. That is an arrogant position.

I'm not disagreeing with what you say here.
However, (for example) this site provides infractions for certain words that it deems unsuitable or offensive, and not for others, so it is clearly making a judgment about the offense-worthiness of some words over others. I recently received an extra large infraction for a word that I thought was ordinary and not very offensive, so clearly global insight is unnecessary for objection/action.