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An Awful Adoption Experience

How's your pup hunt going, Stephanie?

I'm still planning to purchase a puppy next year, but did just finish up an amazing interaction with a rescue a state over. They even waived the home inspection because the application was good. We're picking up our new kitty, Chester, this weekend in Idaho.

Don't lose heart. There are still a few good ones out there!
 
Still a slow process.. I have an application with a rescue in NY an waiting to hear from them.. so once again playing the waiting game. They did acknowledge my application and contacted me about my current dog so hoping for the best!

Glad to hear things are going well on your end! You'll have to show us your new kitty when u get him :)
The rescue I was dealing with deleted the comment thread, they were getting too many negative comments
 
So thinking about what was going on with the rescue, i went on their fb page and they uploaded a video of the dog i wanted to adopt playing with another dog.

Adopt the dog someone else and rub it in while your at it!
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=504193192958463

"congratulations to 2step for graduation their class and thanks to Connor for helping"
Yea and thanks for ripping my heart out in the process -_-
 
Don't let them get to you. Some people really get off on being mean to others and if you show them it bothers you, they win. Connor clearly wasn't meant to be yours. There must be an amazing, better dog out there for you. Seriously.

Good luck!
 
I don't know. I'm losing faith in the whole thing. I got denied yet by another rescue.

Which just means that when you find the right dog, it will be even sweeter. There must be a dog that needs you more than these have & when the time is right for the both of you, IT WILL HAPPEN. I know it's frustrating & heart breaking right now, but what would be even worse would be to get the go ahead from a rescue only to find out that the dog truly meant for you is still waiting for you to find him/her after you've already adopted another. I believe that everything happens for a reason & I truly believe that your perfect dog will find you when it's meant to happen. Hugs to you. Enjoy the holidays & I have no doubts that you'll find your perfect match soon. :yesnod:
 
Which just means that when you find the right dog, it will be even sweeter. There must be a dog that needs you more than these have & when the time is right for the both of you, IT WILL HAPPEN. I know it's frustrating & heart breaking right now, but what would be even worse would be to get the go ahead from a rescue only to find out that the dog truly meant for you is still waiting for you to find him/her after you've already adopted another. I believe that everything happens for a reason & I truly believe that your perfect dog will find you when it's meant to happen. Hugs to you. Enjoy the holidays & I have no doubts that you'll find your perfect match soon. :yesnod:

Thank you, I am still looking!
 
Just to note, someone a few pages back was talking about renting... I can't speak for ALL rescues everywhere, but I know the ones I work with DO ask if you rent and ask for written permission from the landlord because they've had people be like 'WHELP WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT WE COULDN'T HAVE A DOG' and it's a pain on everyone and stressful for the dog to go back and forth. But renting alone doesn't stop someone from adopting- the only time I've seen that happen is for either potential 'BSL' dogs like Dobs, Pits, or GSD's where the shelter/rescue doesn't want a dog friendly landlord to suddenly be very undogfriendly or dogs with a ton of energy like labs, JRT's and hounds to apartments.
But there are exceptions to every rule- I've seen pits adopted out to renters because they made sure beforehand that the landlord was cool with the pit, and I've seen JRTs go to apartments because either owners were a) heavily active or b) in a few cases, the JRT was laid back and not CRACKDOG.
So yes. It is a valid question to ask and to make sure that it's not an impulse decision. Because you may have spent months preparing for it, but for every super prepared person, there's someone who decides, WELL I WANT A DOG TODAY without thinking if the dog matches their lifestyle or homelife. And sometimes it works out... but sometimes the dog ends up on craigslist or a shelter as another chain in an endless cycle of 'impluse buys' And it's frustrating.
And also, people do lie and people can be nasty. You think that rescues have ridiculous standards? Wonder WHY they have those ridiculous standards. I guarantee most of those questions or checks will have a reason behind it that's a sad and/or frustrating tale.
And again- for every prepared person who knows what their doing when they talk to a rescue (or shelter) there are plenty of morons behind them. It gets old. It gets annoying. And I'm not trying to excuse the bad ones- there are bad apples everywhere, but I know the ones I've worked with that do look at the applications hard and maybe ask 'weird' questions are doing it because honestly, they don't want to see these dogs again- they want them to find a forever family.

Oh and fence- the shelter I volunteer with requires a fence for larger dogs (and pictures of it during application stage), but it's a stray facility and most of our dogs are very street savvy, and again- we don't want to see them again. A fence doesn't guarantee that a dog will stay in the yard and never get loose, but it definitely helps. They will allow wiggle room depending on the people- but it just depends. They do longgggg interviews in conjunction to the questions.
 
Just to note, someone a few pages back was talking about renting... I can't speak for ALL rescues everywhere, but I know the ones I work with DO ask if you rent and ask for written permission from the landlord because they've had people be like 'WHELP WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT WE COULDN'T HAVE A DOG' and it's a pain on everyone and stressful for the dog to go back and forth. But renting alone doesn't stop someone from adopting- the only time I've seen that happen is for either potential 'BSL' dogs like Dobs, Pits, or GSD's where the shelter/rescue doesn't want a dog friendly landlord to suddenly be very undogfriendly or dogs with a ton of energy like labs, JRT's and hounds to apartments.
But there are exceptions to every rule- I've seen pits adopted out to renters because they made sure beforehand that the landlord was cool with the pit, and I've seen JRTs go to apartments because either owners were a) heavily active or b) in a few cases, the JRT was laid back and not CRACKDOG.
So yes. It is a valid question to ask and to make sure that it's not an impulse decision. Because you may have spent months preparing for it, but for every super prepared person, there's someone who decides, WELL I WANT A DOG TODAY without thinking if the dog matches their lifestyle or homelife. And sometimes it works out... but sometimes the dog ends up on craigslist or a shelter as another chain in an endless cycle of 'impluse buys' And it's frustrating.
And also, people do lie and people can be nasty. You think that rescues have ridiculous standards? Wonder WHY they have those ridiculous standards. I guarantee most of those questions or checks will have a reason behind it that's a sad and/or frustrating tale.
And again- for every prepared person who knows what their doing when they talk to a rescue (or shelter) there are plenty of morons behind them. It gets old. It gets annoying. And I'm not trying to excuse the bad ones- there are bad apples everywhere, but I know the ones I've worked with that do look at the applications hard and maybe ask 'weird' questions are doing it because honestly, they don't want to see these dogs again- they want them to find a forever family.

Oh and fence- the shelter I volunteer with requires a fence for larger dogs (and pictures of it during application stage), but it's a stray facility and most of our dogs are very street savvy, and again- we don't want to see them again. A fence doesn't guarantee that a dog will stay in the yard and never get loose, but it definitely helps. They will allow wiggle room depending on the people- but it just depends. They do longgggg interviews in conjunction to the questions.

But that still doesn't explain why legitimate pet owners are being turned away from adopting. It doesn't explain why that one good person out of all the morons isn't suitable to adopt. The system is put into place to weed out those morons from the good potential adopters. So why are those people getting turned away?
I'm finding in my road of hell trying to adopt that volunteers are abusing this system to be unecessarily picky. Tell me, how does answering pages worth of questionare give you the peace of mind or the red flag of the person applying, why can't volunteers take more time to talk to people and get to know them to see for themselves if this person is "legit" or not. I have yet to go through a longggg interview you speak of.
 
If you read what I wrote, I said that I can't speak for every single shelter or rescue everywhere. I know the ones I've worked with have long interviews in conjunction to questions, clearly it's not the case everywhere- but just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it never happens. Have you contacted every rescue ever? Have you called or tried to contacting someone and see what the process is like before proceeding to see if they do interviews?
I can't, and I'm not going to speak, for the rescues you've worked with because I honestly don't know them and have never heard of them- I live across the country and it's not a breed I follow so I can't answer why they specifically are so hard.
Maybe they have to weed through a lot of morons and you fell through the crack- they are just as human as you are, and mistakes happen. But if THEY mess up by giving an animal to the wrong person, that dog could end up dead or worse. I'm sure that's the motivating reason, or one of them. And again- I'm not trying to excuse them. I think some of them do go overboard in trying to assure a good home and people do fall through the cracks. I know the people who I work with in rescue have heard so many horror stories that it's hard to not to become jaded and think the worst of people. I do hope it ends up well for you and that you find your dream pooch.
And this will sound trite, but keep your eyes open. I've seen people come with their hearts set on a specific age, breed, gender, eye color, whatever and SO SURE that's what they want and then suddenly they see 'the one' and it's totally not what they had been expecting or wanting. It's good to have an idea, but don't limit yourself- there are lots of wonderful animals out there who need homes.
 
If you read what I wrote, I said that I can't speak for every single shelter or rescue everywhere. I know the ones I've worked with have long interviews in conjunction to questions, clearly it's not the case everywhere- but just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it never happens. Have you contacted every rescue ever? Have you called or tried to contacting someone and see what the process is like before proceeding to see if they do interviews?
I can't, and I'm not going to speak, for the rescues you've worked with because I honestly don't know them and have never heard of them- I live across the country and it's not a breed I follow so I can't answer why they specifically are so hard.
Maybe they have to weed through a lot of morons and you fell through the crack- they are just as human as you are, and mistakes happen. But if THEY mess up by giving an animal to the wrong person, that dog could end up dead or worse. I'm sure that's the motivating reason, or one of them. And again- I'm not trying to excuse them. I think some of them do go overboard in trying to assure a good home and people do fall through the cracks. I know the people who I work with in rescue have heard so many horror stories that it's hard to not to become jaded and think the worst of people. I do hope it ends up well for you and that you find your dream pooch.
And this will sound trite, but keep your eyes open. I've seen people come with their hearts set on a specific age, breed, gender, eye color, whatever and SO SURE that's what they want and then suddenly they see 'the one' and it's totally not what they had been expecting or wanting. It's good to have an idea, but don't limit yourself- there are lots of wonderful animals out there who need homes.

And how long is it, exactly, that people should keep trying when they have run into what appears to be an overabundance of these types of situations? Being turned down from an adoption, especially for asinine reasons, is heart breaking and a person can only take so much crap scenarios like it before they throw their hands up and move on to another method.

No, perfection will never exists when human error is a chance, but it does not really excuse perfectly good individuals "falling through the cracks" when it comes to trying to adopt a dog. I should never have been turned down in adopting a dog. Period. I do not care how arrogant or self-serving that sounds. There is nothing I do or have done that would warrant not being able to get the animal I want from the rescue I choose to attempt to work with. I should not have to move on to the next one when the dog I want resides with another. I should not have to change what I want and what I have my heart set on because some stupid minute, idiotic reason has disqualified me.

I said before that some questions make sense. Some, however, do not. What cracks me up the most is a lot these rescues that will throw a fit about what your dog eats are feeding theirs off of donations and I guarantee that most of those donations are the 40lb 20.00 Pedigree Dog Food Bag. And I get that, I do, because they work with what they get, but that does not mean you get to sit there and turn someone down because they are not going to go to higher quality beyond that. If that was the case, then they should be feeding the same.

But these questions are just guidelines and I could lie on every single answer if I wanted to. I could say I own my house, have no affiliation with the military and have no intention of moving within the next ten years. I could tell them I will give the dog rainbows and butterflies and stars. I could say anything I wanted.

That's great that you have volunteered for places that take the time to actually get to know their potential adopters, but many places are not like that. I have dealt with easily over 30 rescues in the past six years for various reasons and a dozen or so shelters. Most of them are overwhelmed, overburdened, do not have enough space, do not have enough foster homes and have unrealistic expectations for their adopters that cause the dogs to remain in kennels and in foster homes (the shelters are not really this picky as euthanasia is an ever present reality and the desperation is more evident). Hell, I went to a kennel rescue to look at dogs with a friend once and was really irritated by the way their volunteers hovered over us to do anything. Just standing there, staring at us while we interacted with the dogs.

Yeah, they have heard horror stories, but what about the horror stories of rescues and shelters? The abuse and the neglect you will hear about at times? About the people who fail the dogs in one way or another in their misguided quest to save them and protect them? Are those to be ignored because of all the success stories? Are those to be forgotten because their are less of those stories and more of abuse from "regular" individuals? No, not really.

Fact of the matter is, I have become greatly disillusioned by how the majority (and yeah, I will go ahead and use "majority" because stories like mine and others in this thread are becoming very common) of so called rescues and humane societies run their adoption processes. I have become disillusioned with how hard it is to get the dog I am looking for and want. I am sorry that I am not willing to adopt just any dog with a sad story, I have breed preferences, for very specific reasons. If this makes me a less than ideal owner, than so be it.

Yes, I have had mutts, yes I currently own a mutt, but this dog found me and no humane society or rescue would help me with her. No humane society or rescue would take her because she had heartworms, even with me offering to pay for half of the treatment. Rescues and humane societies take in HW positive dogs all the time, why was this dog any different? You want to know why? Because the rescues would not accept my story at face value and believed I was the owner of this dog (by FL's laws I was, because I had to be to surrender her to a no-kill shelter) and was just dumping my problem on them. They are the ones who are jaded, not me. Lucky for Ginger, I actually care enough about her to put up with the inconvenience that is her heartworms. Lucky for her, I did not just throw her in a kill shelter when every humane society I contacted from Southern Florida to Louisiana told me "No", we cannot take in that completely trained, house broken, submissive, sweet little dog with heartworms.

If I attempt to adopt again from a rescue, it'll be a long time from now and it will be after I have gone to every no-kill shelter within my distance radius since the dogs in rescue and humane societies are not looking at a cold, lonely death as a real possibility. My next dog will actually come from a certified breeder, however. This is frowned upon, but again, disillusionment. The type of dog I want is hard to come across younger than six months in rescues or shelters. And while I adore my rescues, I have endured a great deal of stress and heartache in the past few years from adopting dogs that are permanently scarred from their ordeals and I need a break from it.

I thank you for your contributions to dogs that need homes, but the system is largely broken and it needs to be fixed. Adopting a dog should not be as complicated as adopting a human.
 
If you read what I wrote, I said that I can't speak for every single shelter or rescue everywhere. I know the ones I've worked with have long interviews in conjunction to questions, clearly it's not the case everywhere- but just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it never happens. Have you contacted every rescue ever? Have you called or tried to contacting someone and see what the process is like before proceeding to see if they do interviews?
I can't, and I'm not going to speak, for the rescues you've worked with because I honestly don't know them and have never heard of them- I live across the country and it's not a breed I follow so I can't answer why they specifically are so hard.
Maybe they have to weed through a lot of morons and you fell through the crack- they are just as human as you are, and mistakes happen. But if THEY mess up by giving an animal to the wrong person, that dog could end up dead or worse. I'm sure that's the motivating reason, or one of them. And again- I'm not trying to excuse them. I think some of them do go overboard in trying to assure a good home and people do fall through the cracks. I know the people who I work with in rescue have heard so many horror stories that it's hard to not to become jaded and think the worst of people. I do hope it ends up well for you and that you find your dream pooch.
And this will sound trite, but keep your eyes open. I've seen people come with their hearts set on a specific age, breed, gender, eye color, whatever and SO SURE that's what they want and then suddenly they see 'the one' and it's totally not what they had been expecting or wanting. It's good to have an idea, but don't limit yourself- there are lots of wonderful animals out there who need homes.


I read what you said, and I am not targeting all rescues but I feel that farrrr to many rescues, even said "good rep" rescues are abusing the system to much to just pass it off as "humans are not perfect."
As much as I am losing faith in rescue, I still have it in my mind that I want to have a rescue dog. I would have no problem bringing home one from a kill shelter, but none have shown up locally. I have no moral issues with buying from a breeder, I just dont want a puppy right now.
 
And how long is it, exactly, that people should keep trying when they have run into what appears to be an overabundance of these types of situations? Being turned down from an adoption, especially for asinine reasons, is heart breaking and a person can only take so much crap scenarios like it before they throw their hands up and move on to another method.

No, perfection will never exists when human error is a chance, but it does not really excuse perfectly good individuals "falling through the cracks" when it comes to trying to adopt a dog. I should never have been turned down in adopting a dog. Period. I do not care how arrogant or self-serving that sounds. There is nothing I do or have done that would warrant not being able to get the animal I want from the rescue I choose to attempt to work with. I should not have to move on to the next one when the dog I want resides with another. I should not have to change what I want and what I have my heart set on because some stupid minute, idiotic reason has disqualified me.

I said before that some questions make sense. Some, however, do not. What cracks me up the most is a lot these rescues that will throw a fit about what your dog eats are feeding theirs off of donations and I guarantee that most of those donations are the 40lb 20.00 Pedigree Dog Food Bag. And I get that, I do, because they work with what they get, but that does not mean you get to sit there and turn someone down because they are not going to go to higher quality beyond that. If that was the case, then they should be feeding the same.

But these questions are just guidelines and I could lie on every single answer if I wanted to. I could say I own my house, have no affiliation with the military and have no intention of moving within the next ten years. I could tell them I will give the dog rainbows and butterflies and stars. I could say anything I wanted.

That's great that you have volunteered for places that take the time to actually get to know their potential adopters, but many places are not like that. I have dealt with easily over 30 rescues in the past six years for various reasons and a dozen or so shelters. Most of them are overwhelmed, overburdened, do not have enough space, do not have enough foster homes and have unrealistic expectations for their adopters that cause the dogs to remain in kennels and in foster homes (the shelters are not really this picky as euthanasia is an ever present reality and the desperation is more evident). Hell, I went to a kennel rescue to look at dogs with a friend once and was really irritated by the way their volunteers hovered over us to do anything. Just standing there, staring at us while we interacted with the dogs.

Yeah, they have heard horror stories, but what about the horror stories of rescues and shelters? The abuse and the neglect you will hear about at times? About the people who fail the dogs in one way or another in their misguided quest to save them and protect them? Are those to be ignored because of all the success stories? Are those to be forgotten because their are less of those stories and more of abuse from "regular" individuals? No, not really.

Fact of the matter is, I have become greatly disillusioned by how the majority (and yeah, I will go ahead and use "majority" because stories like mine and others in this thread are becoming very common) of so called rescues and humane societies run their adoption processes. I have become disillusioned with how hard it is to get the dog I am looking for and want. I am sorry that I am not willing to adopt just any dog with a sad story, I have breed preferences, for very specific reasons. If this makes me a less than ideal owner, than so be it.

Yes, I have had mutts, yes I currently own a mutt, but this dog found me and no humane society or rescue would help me with her. No humane society or rescue would take her because she had heartworms, even with me offering to pay for half of the treatment. Rescues and humane societies take in HW positive dogs all the time, why was this dog any different? You want to know why? Because the rescues would not accept my story at face value and believed I was the owner of this dog (by FL's laws I was, because I had to be to surrender her to a no-kill shelter) and was just dumping my problem on them. They are the ones who are jaded, not me. Lucky for Ginger, I actually care enough about her to put up with the inconvenience that is her heartworms. Lucky for her, I did not just throw her in a kill shelter when every humane society I contacted from Southern Florida to Louisiana told me "No", we cannot take in that completely trained, house broken, submissive, sweet little dog with heartworms.

If I attempt to adopt again from a rescue, it'll be a long time from now and it will be after I have gone to every no-kill shelter within my distance radius since the dogs in rescue and humane societies are not looking at a cold, lonely death as a real possibility. My next dog will actually come from a certified breeder, however. This is frowned upon, but again, disillusionment. The type of dog I want is hard to come across younger than six months in rescues or shelters. And while I adore my rescues, I have endured a great deal of stress and heartache in the past few years from adopting dogs that are permanently scarred from their ordeals and I need a break from it.

I thank you for your contributions to dogs that need homes, but the system is largely broken and it needs to be fixed. Adopting a dog should not be as complicated as adopting a human.

^^This 100%
I am picky. 4 months of searching for dogs, I have grown attached to only a few dogs that I couldnt have and it was heart breaking. So i will not adopt the very first border collie I see on petfinder.
Adopting should not be ridiculous. Over a dog. I understand why the standards are there, but not only is the system largely corrupted and broken, but its only getting worse and nothing is being done to fix it.
I often read some adoption applications to my mother to show her how unbelievable it is (though she knows as well as I do how ridiculous it is simply from adopting our dog from a kill shelter).

Know why I was declined just recently?
My large corner property back, front & side yard isnt big enough for a border collie. That Border collies can dig, bark at people & dogs and that the breed isnt good for dog parks because I mention I take my current dog there. They also said that my old dog couldnt handle the energy needs of a young border collie (I wasnt adopting a dog for him, I was adopting for me), despite all that they did acknowledge that I had a border collie, but I still wasnt fit for any of their dogs.
I specifically put in the application that I am experienced and aware of the problems bcs are known for and I know how to address them, and that am more then willing to enroll in an obedience class, but no. I wasnt good enough.
 
Know why I was declined just recently?
My large corner property back, front & side yard isnt big enough for a border collie. That Border collies can dig, bark at people & dogs and that the breed isnt good for dog parks because I mention I take my current dog there. They also said that my old dog couldnt handle the energy needs of a young border collie (I wasnt adopting a dog for him, I was adopting for me), despite all that they did acknowledge that I had a border collie, but I still wasnt fit for any of their dogs.
I specifically put in the application that I am experienced and aware of the problems bcs are known for and I know how to address them, and that am more then willing to enroll in an obedience class, but no. I wasnt good enough.

Wow, how horribly abused my parents' 13 year old Border Collie is.

Going to dog parks and not living on an acre or more.

Probably the most well-trained dog I've ever met.

Ridiculous.

You know, I once owned a husky who did not dig, talk, jump fences, get really rambunctious or do anything other huskies are so often known to do. A breed description is just that, a description, it is not what the dog is guaranteed to be.

Also, if you have an older dog, and it does not feel like playing, it will let the other dogs know.

Ask my 12 year-old Shih-tzu what she does when my Shepherd or mutt bothers her and she is not in the mood.
 
Wow, how horribly abused my parents' 13 year old Border Collie is.

Going to dog parks and not living on an acre or more.

Probably the most well-trained dog I've ever met.

Ridiculous.

You know, I once owned a husky who did not dig, talk, jump fences, get really rambunctious or do anything other huskies are so often known to do. A breed description is just that, a description, it is not what the dog is guaranteed to be.

Also, if you have an older dog, and it does not feel like playing, it will let the other dogs know.

Ask my 12 year-old Shih-tzu what she does when my Shepherd or mutt bothers her and she is not in the mood.

OMG thats horrible
how dare you not provide the breed with 10 times the amount of space you really need and UGH taking him to a dog park?? lol.. XD XD

but no seriously, not all breeds conform to their standards, and even if they do it doesnt mean they cant be conditioned to behave to your own standards. Not to give credit to the NC rescue who screwed with me, but they believed this and have been very successful with getting dogs of all breeds to behave properly in any environment.

My dog interacts with younger dogs on a regular basis, especially with a hyper active one year australian shepherd (which was also mentioned to the rescue) and when my dog has had enough, he puts him in his place. It may sound crazy but that dog has come to respect my dog.
 
Well as a final update to everyone, I have been denied by yet another rescue for adopting, this time because they didnt have anyone in my area to do a home inspection. So clearly getting another dog is just not in the cards. Im done trying, and my heart goes out to rescue dogs all over but clearly volunteers dont want them to go to good homes. Thank you to everyone who did support me.
 
Stephanie, that is awful!!!! But there are lots of dogs that don't come from rescues. One of these days, you'll be out somewhere, and maybe you will find the dog meant for you. :)

I'm glad you posted your experience- it may steer someone else away from the heartache of similar types of rescues, which clearly end up bad for the adopter and in your case, bad for the dog, because you sound like a wonderful owner.
 
Thank you Lucille!! I'm really hoping the right dog comes to me some how.
When that dog does finally come home, its going to have the best home it ever had in it's life
 
Guys, take a look at Best Friends. The adoption fees and sometimes flight are ELIMINATED during some times of the year, and for certain dogs! I really love what Best Friends is doing, and urge people to at LEAST check them out.
 
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