Long post incoming!
It sounds like you are talking to either a large scale breeder or a company that buys wholesale and resells. A lot of those companies will use a stock photo of an animal and not bother with individual pics.
As far as sexing, it depends on the type of snake you are looking for. Some cannot be sexed when young as doing so will damage their fragile tail areas, but generally that is information you should be able to get before you buy.
If you want to be able to pick out your baby, I would suggest working with a hobby breeder, this is generally someone that has a small collection (under 100 animals) and will be happy to provide individual pics, feeding records and detailed information about the parents. Another way to pick out the animal is to go to a show as you suggested although again, you will run across resellers there who won't always have much info about the actual animal as they have so many or just buy to resale.
You can find hobby breeders in classifieds like here or through a local reptile club. You can browse discussion forums here or elsewhere to see who works with the specific species you are interested it, it never hurts to send some people a PM and see if they are breeding or what they might have available.
While buying from a small-scale or hobby breeder might mean you pay a little more, you usually can get much more information, advice and after care service from them than you would get from a big reseller or big breeder. Not always the case of course, but generally speaking this is what I have found.
It's always a good idea to search the BOI (Board of Inquiry -
http://www.faunaclassifieds.com/foru...splay.php?f=13)
for the person or company you are thinking of buying from. If you don't see anything, you can post an Inquiry or ask the person for referrals.
Good luck! I hope you are able to find what you are looking for!
