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As I stated, I don't know how to sex them, so there's no way I can tell the sex of it. I don't want to give myself an excuse here, but if everytime I buy a snake, I really don't feel that I have to drive 45 minutes or 1 hour 30 minutes to have him/her sex again.
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Actually you are giving yourself an excuse. You shouldn't have to drive that far just to confirm you got what you were supposed to. You should however learn to sex snakes if you are going to be breeding them, or otherwise offering them for sale regularly.
People do make mistakes, they incorrectly read the probe depth, they accidentally get a sexed pair mixed up, these things happen. The more you deal with snakes the greater your chances of running into this problem. The best way to protect yourself is to learn to sex them.
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Also, since you bring it up, genetic and sex are things that will not change by time, not like health condition. What happen if it's a supposed to be het that turned out normal? Would the seller just refunds the original price and pays for the shipping fee involved? If it would not, why would it be different with sex?
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The difference is you have no way at all to determine the genetics of a het without breeding it, and that means you have to raise it for at least a couple of years. The sex can be determined at birth, or in the case of a buyer, as soon as you remove it from the snake bag if you so desire.
The point is who bears the responsibility? In the case of a het that turns out not to be, the seller bears full responsibility, because you have no means at all to determine the genetics. In the case of wrong sex, the seller bears the responsibility of supplying the correct sex, but at some point the buyer also bears the responsibility of determining if it is indeed the correct sex in a timely manner.
Part of this responsibility is realizing that the seller does not owe you for the food you gave the snake before you realized it wasn't the right sex.
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I agreed that there's thing that you can learn. However, from what I learn, sexing snake, including poping and probing, should be better done by the professional.
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What makes Prehistoric Pets or Reptile Haven, or your local friend professionals and more qualified to probe a snake than you? I think you're selling yourself a bit short here. There's no magic tricks, or secret techniques involved in probing. You can learn to be skilled at it just as anyone can.
You should of course be shown the correct technique by someone who is themselves skilled in it, but there's no reason to limit the practice to the "professionals".
Years ago I used to load up all my hatchlings every year and take them to a good friend of mine's house. We'd order pizza and he's sex my snakes. I'd usually give him a pair of something he wanted for his trouble.
I did this because I was afraid to sex snakes myself, I feared injuring them.
I came to realize that this was a skill that I needed to know, so I bought a set of probes and that fall I took all my hatchlings over to his house and had him teach me. Any I was unsure of, he double checked for me. By the time we were finished, I had learned the feel of it, and was capable of sexing everything for myself from that point on.