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For example, if the bank already refunds their customer who filed a chargeback, they're not going to take that money away from the customer and be an Indian giver
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That isn't necessarily the case. If the injured party proves his case, they do return the money; and take the loss themselves, if necessary - I've been in that situation. (well, it was different; but the bank had already paid the other party based on the "proof" provided...and when I provided the rest of the email stream, I got my money back. They didn't take it back from him, though they should have, IMO; but all I really cared about was not getting charged for a free replacement I'd been promised nearly a year earlier.)
I don't doubt that the amount of money can be a factor in their willingness to take a loss - my situation was much less money ($300).
PayPal does have its downfalls, and their protections suck for non-eBay transactions; but it seems a good part of your complaint is with the customer's credit card bank.