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Connie hasn't been feeling too well yesterday and into today, so far. Possibly side effects of the shot she got on Thursday. Yesterday she needed me to run to Walgreen's to get some meds for her. I told her I was heading out there, while she ran to the bathroom. Then I get a text from her asking me where I was. I told her "on the garage apron in the Jeep." She texts "Are you leaving?" I am embarrassed to say I lost my cool and went back to the house and yelled at her "WHAT DO YOU WANT?? Stop playing 20 questions with me!" She said she didn't realize I was leaving right away, and I was thinking, well, what else would I be doing sitting in the Jeep in front of the garage?
So I felt rotten all day long after that.
She was in bed nearly all day long, not really feeling very well. Last night she said she felt like her skin was on fire, but she didn't have any sort of temperature. I know she is looking to me for help, but what the heck do I know about what she is going through? I can make suggestions, but are they reasonable and valid suggestions? Or will they just make things worse? Would it be worse to offer nothing at all as a suggestion, maybe making her think I just don't care?
Of course, I feel like now I am watching her dying. What do I do when I feel like the nightmare begins when I wake up in the morning? Yeah, Valium time...
Yeah, maybe this is just a reaction to the drugs and it will pass. But, again, how the heck do I know? Maybe on days like this I just need to take enough valiums to put myself to sleep for the entire day too. Dreams are definitely a much nicer place to be now.
Connie asked me an odd question several days ago. She asked "Are you sorry that you survived your heart attack?" I thought for a moment, and then replied, "As long as you are still around, I need to be around to take care of you. After that, I really don't care what happens to me."
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