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Often when my wife brings up something in her world that is bothering her, my immediate response is to try to solve the problem. That's not usually what she's looking for, and I feel bad that I didn't respond with what she needed, which is exactly the things you point out, Lucille.
I tend interpret this as a fundamental difference in world view between women and men (caring for someone vs defending them, or something like that), or the culture-driven "feminine" and "masculine" approaches at any rate. Whether that's accurate, or the most productive way to look at it, I don't know.
I've gotten somewhat better at responding with something like "is there anything I can do to help?" and then use her response to that to try to figure out if I should suggest something that involves testosterone and bad judgement or rather just give her a sympathetic smile and a hug and make her a cappuccino.
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