Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucille
Ivermectin can potentiate the benzodiazepines.
|
Ah, so those 2 mg tablets I got prescribed might be more than enough. Actually I have been tapping into that very old stock I have, cutting the 5mg tablets in half, so it is more like 2.5mg I took a while back. Been several days (I think) since I have taken any at all. These are sort of a last resort for me when I feel my seams coming apart on me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucille
I am happy to hear that and I hope her feeling of well being continues. I hope that the annoying yellow flies go away soon so that y'all can enjoy the outdoors before it gets too hot later in the summer.
I am sure that all of us will send special thoughts and prayers on the day of Connie's next chemo, and hope that all goes well.
|
Thank you.
Actually I believe Connie is supposed to be avoiding direct sunlight while doing the chemo treatments anyway. But I would like to bundle her up and drive down to the state park on St. George Island and sit in the open air pavilions they have there right on the Gulf of Mexico. Maybe even early in the morning or late in the evening when the sun would be low and perhaps we could even walk on the beach for a bit. Depends on how she feels, I suppose.
I am thankful they have the treatments 3 weeks apart, so that she can recover somewhat between if she does get some notable side effects after each treatment. They are doing blood work each week in between to see how things are going.
I seriously hope she doesn't have REALLY bad effects from the chemo. She has talked about the possibility that if she ever did get cancer that she was going to refuse all treatments. So when the surgeon/oncologist told me about chemo for her after the surgery, I told her that was going to be a real hard sell for her. But it actually surprised me when Connie agreed to it without kicking up a fuss. Maybe her going through surgery first changed her perspective on things.
Frankly, I am deathly afraid that if the chemo side effects are too much for her, and she sees me falling apart, she might decide to take her own life. So I sure as hell can't let her see me crumple up and collapse from this. That is one of them main reasons I mentioned above that I CANNOT tell her I have to go to the doctor's to be checked out for heart issues. She would not allow herself to be the cause of me having a heart attack. I have to make her understand that the reason she needs to fight this is because I NEED her to be here with me. I don't believe there is any greater truth than that. Which means I have to be strong enough to be there to support her, but not putting on an act of being so strong that she feels I can get along just fine without her.
On a different note, I think I have been using sleep as a sort of escape from all this. Waking up has been very difficult, except when Connie calls my name needing help. But lately even sleep is slipping away as an escape because lately I have been having dreams of meeting people I haven't seen for years, decades even, and having to go through the pain of telling them what Connie is going through. That is difficult for me to do, even in a dream.