FML FML FML

The comment was not for every step father. But this guy sounds like a loser to start with. You said he can't even take care of his own son. Why would he take care of your daughter if he refuses to take care of his own. You could find a guy to take care of her, but it is not the one you are with.

The polite advice is: if this guy takes no responsibility for children or bills, leave him. Find someone that will accept your daughter and that is more mature. If he takes the snakes,.maybe the next guy will contribute more and you can buy your own snakes.

What you're talking about is pretty rampant, from what I see around me all the time. Heck, I'm a guy and I feel the draw...

I'm painting in broad strokes here, but I think some of it comes from how we raise girls and boys differently and how they're trained to percieve their roles in the husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. There is still some remnants left of guys doing what they want while the gals stay at home barefoot and pregnant. The girls grow up early, and the guys never do.

The question I'd be asking is- why have we even split up the bills in the first place? Maybe that's too broad a stroke too, but the family team is just that, a team. It's YOU (plural) against the world and there's no room for MINE or YOURS. If my mate couldn't understand that then we'd have to sit down and do some talking to see if this thing is going anywhere at all.

I don't know if any of that made sense... but I understand your frustration. I'm glad you have somewhere to vent a little.

Originally Posted by smb2585

He just thinks that because he pays the water bill and power bill and buys groceries maybe every other week he pitches in but because he has more personal bills than i do we r equal.. reason he has more is because my dad pays alot of my stuff because he knows i couldnt survive if i had to pay everything on my own... i just dont get it... and then get mad at me for being mad that i had to get up at 6am to get myself and the kid up and leave and get to work while he slept in and played black ops all day and then went out on the new jetski but didnt make the bed, didnt take the trash out and ask ME what is for dinner... ahahahaha... but im the crazy psycho one thats just "jealous" that i cant buy nice things like jet skis and motorcycles... or snakes for that matter... yea cuz im paying the rest of the bills and being mom... omfg... i should have known he was a loser when he doesnt even see or participate in his OWN sons life.. because he hates the mother... i really seem to attract the losers...

So did you make him dinner or did you make him earn it?

Originally Posted by Dennis Hultman

So did you make him dinner or did you make him earn it?

He made his own dinner and i didnt eat... same as last nights situation as well and he slept on the couch.

We originally didn't split the bills in the first place because i made more than him when he first moved in and i was understanding of that situation. he also in the beginning did play an active role in his sons life and we even took the kid out with us one day to go race go-karts... and he had dinner with him before he went back out of state... but since then i wonder if it was all a front to get me to just think he was this good guy... as time has progressed we used to fight all the time about his son because i couldn't understand why he wouldnt do anything with the kid when the moved back to VA... but it inevitably became "none of my business"... he said he would chip in more for bills but the way he said it made it seem like it was more of a pain in the ass than a contribution... everyone (including his family) has told me that he has always been selfish/secretive about his life and doesnt let people in and doesnt want people in his business.. or to know anything about him no matter what the circumstances... i think everyday the past week it has all become more and more clear to me what needs to be done... especially after yesterdays events.

I'd dump him... if you are having these kinds of doubts about him and and etc. then he is not the man for you. How old are you BTW?

26 -- i have alot of learning to do... and it seems like every day he really does prove himself to be worse and worse.

I think your main problem is,

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AWESOME JETSKIS AND MOTORCYCLES ARE.

:P

LOL i have no problem with motorcycles and jetskis... i enjoy riding both... i just have a problem when it overrides priorities in life lol