Feeling helpless...

I’m about to rip the walls surrounding me down I'm so pissed off. I might be a little extra emotional today because I didn’t sleep a wink last night. You would think I would be running low on fumes right now but that clearly isn’t the case because I’m struggling not to blow my top right now. I’ll explain & hopefully someone will be able to read the mess I’m about to write down to get it off my chest
My now wife, but at the time girlfriend wasn’t supposed to be able to have children. I don’t know the medical terms but she had some kind of cancer thing & after getting it fixed was told it basically wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t ready for a child but when she found out she was pregnant her mind was set since she probably wouldn’t get another chance. After being helicopter transported to different hospitals when her water broke over 3 months early she was stuck in the hospital until giving birth. I was there everyday after work with her until my son was finally born premature which was expected. As if the kid didn’t have enough setbacks already we named him Chris Durante III.
The men in my family are broad & heavy. Thankfully I’m at least 6 foot tall to spread my 320 pounds around a little. My wife (who is 6 foot) has a family full of tall guys, even her father who is the runt of his brothers stands 6’5. That being the case, I’m not to shocked my son is now bigger then most kids his age & gets mistaken a lot for being older then he is.
He is bigger & stronger then a lot of the kids in his school & even though I know he wouldn’t ever be a bully because he’s to busy trying to be everyone’s best friend, I made it clear I would not allow it to happen either. I plan to teach & raise him right. The last thing I want for him to do is get kicked out of school like I did 3 times or even worst eventually go to jail where his grandpop is & spent much of his life. I’m scared I might of did to good of a job though.
I seen he didn’t like school much a while back & found out it was because there was a kid that was giving him trouble. The kid did dumb things that kids do like trying to wipe a boogie on my son but also took it farther by kicking him every day repeatedly under the table & punching on the locked stall door when my kid was using the bathroom in attempts to show off in front of 2 other boys. I asked my son why the kid messed with him & was told me because he wouldn’t hit the kids back or tell. I asked him why not & he said the kids didn’t hurt him much so he didn’t want to hurt them & was scared to tell the teacher because he thought he would get in trouble.
I let my wife who is more level headed then me notify the teacher & principle. They finally agreed to move my sons seat away from the kid, which lasted only a month before the teacher put them together again. The kid must have been told by his parent to leave my son alone because he doesn’t bother him as much now but this morning I saw something that got under my skin. One of the kids that hang out with the bully seems to be picking up the habit. While all the kids are waiting in line to go in the building chatting I see this kid walk all the way back to the end of the line, step up in my son’s face & tell him he was a weirdo. I was in shock & watch my son look over to me & shrug his shoulders but I had no idea where it came from either since they weren’t even close to each other prior to the incident & this kid isn’t even in his class. Before I could even say anything, the kids mom say “oh Brandon don’t say that, come back to the front”. I don’t think she realized I heard his comment & only even bothered saying anything was because I was close by.
My kid gets along with everyone except this pack of 3 boys that clearly treat others besides him like crap. The teachers, principle, & parents don’t seem to care about the problem or think it’s a big enough issue to deal with it. I decided it is though & when I pick him up from school at 3:00 we are going to a talk on the way home. I’m going to make it perfectly clear he isn’t being a bully if he protects himself when pushed or hit that I expect him to defend himself. I’m also going to let him if his teacher or anyone else has a problem with him defending himself since they aren’t doing it to call me personally. I have a feeling I will be getting a call in the near future & a few little brats are going learn a hard life lesson at a really early age.
I know it may not be the responsible thing to do & 2 wrongs don’t make a right but at this point I think it seems to be the quickest solution. I refuse to let this kid feel threaten any longer so he is either going to have to let them know how it feels so they leave him alone or I’m going to have to bully there parents so they understand oh it feels & teach there damn kids how to act.

I feel for you Chris. I was always a head taller and 20 pounds heavier than kids my age. So I always got picked on by older bigger kids. Finally my dad got pissed and said, Do what ya gotta do. I b*tch slapped a 12th grader in the face with football cleats. 1973 football cleats! Damn shoe stuck to his face. I remember my dad coming in and looking at the kids dad. Said, Guess that little prick wont be messing with my son much any more. Told the principal he told me to defend myself and he did and whats the problem? lol. Of course this is not 1973 any more. Seems like schools don't want to do any thing until theres blood then every one gets in trouble and not just the trouble maker.

You have done what you can do for now,if it does come to blows I hope he knows to take the biggest one first
If you are still in a preventive mode,by pass the little fish's and go straight to the ISD of your area and explain your situation in (docile terms)of an emanate situation that was dismissed by the presiding teacher(s) at the school house level.

While things are soaking teach your kid some basic punch defense and three strike combo's,
rear naked chokes should be reserved for off campus combat

Originally Posted by Durante

I know it may not be the responsible thing to do & 2 wrongs don’t make a right but at this point I think it seems to be the quickest solution. I refuse to let this kid feel threaten any longer so he is either going to have to let them know how it feels so they leave him alone or I’m going to have to bully there parents so they understand oh it feels & teach there damn kids how to act.

It's kind of a shame that our society buys into the "violence doesn't solve anything" mentality. If/when the system fails to protect him, some times prudent application of force is the only viable option. I was always somewhere between stocky and fat, when I was growing up. I looked like too much of a fair fight to kids my own age, but the older kids liked to try to have a go at me. I tried to do what I was told: laugh it off and not make waves. That didn't help. It was amazing how much of a difference it made when I started pushing back.

I think bullies are really cowards who are only interested in those who are easy targets, the ones who will gladly play the victim role. Once I chose to show them that I wouldn't play along, the status quo changed pretty quickly. Personally, I think it'd be irresponsible of a parent to not encourage their bullied child to stop being a willing victim; and that there'd be nothing "wrong" not only encouraging him to stand up for himself, but teaching him how to do so. The simple truth is that most people really don't know how to fight, so a little bit of skill can go a long way.

Originally Posted by Metachrosis

You have done what you can do for now,if it does come to blows I hope he knows to take the biggest one first
If you are still in a preventive mode,by pass the little fish's and go straight to the ISD of your area and explain your situation in (docile terms)of an emanate situation that was dismissed by the presiding teacher(s) at the school house level.

While things are soaking teach your kid some basic punch defense and three strike combo's,
rear naked chokes should be reserved for off campus combat

Like most kids with problems growing up I was frustrated & angry & was sent to the alternative high school (except during football season) so we only had to be there 3 hours a day & then we were supposed to do co-op. Since I didn't have work until later in the after noon, all my friends were still in class, & i was fighting with anyone anyway, a family friend said I might as well do it right & signed my up for boxing. I would go there a few hours every day before work & play around a bit when at home to, actually got pretty good. I even stopped fighting outside. It was fun while it lasted but the gym shut down after 2 years. I had about enough of it around that time anyway though because the guys my weight I spared were older & a lot more seasoned if you will. I'm not in the shape I was then but feel comfortable holding my own any where.
I play with him now & show him things. It's funny because he is pretty good with his punches & has a little snap but he just isn't old or coordinated enough yet to get the foot work down & use his hips. I just dont want him thinking fighting is the way to solve everything. It took me way to long to see it just cause more problems.

This is good for a laugh. I look like a little boy & was actually in half decent shape. I cant remember when I seen that much empty skin on my body. It looks like I could of even actually grew my hair in here if I wanted. I'm only 31 now, I shouldn't feel this old already. What the happened. LOL

Just a friendly heads up on realisticly forecasting the kids direction regardless
of chosen directives and influences.

He's gonna be just like you(male) with a little mom(female) sprinkled in
Done raised 2 and now seeing similarities in a 10yr old grandson

Originally Posted by Metachrosis

Just a friendly heads up on realisticly forecasting the kids direction regardless
of chosen directives and influences.

He's gonna be just like you(male) with a little mom(female) sprinkled in
Done raised 2 and now seeing similarities in a 10yr old grandson

Then I'm in deep deep trouble

I survived a good bit of that too . . . . . .