POTTY TRAINING!!!!!

Ok, there are plenty of books and videos to help little kids get the idea of potty training. What about survival books for the parents??? My daughter is 2 1/2 and has no interest whatsoever in the potty. She is fully aware of when she wants to go and then runs and hides in a corner to do it. She even goes so far as to tell me she's going to do it. When I try to put her on the potty, she cries and screams bloody murder. I have tried all forms of bribery, stickers, candy, books, singing, you name it. She just won't do it. The only time she will use the potty when it's bedtime because she is delaying going to bed. How did you get by? This is killing me. I can't take her crying and making me feel horrible. How can I make it a positive thing for her? I know when she's ready she will do it, I just don't see when she's going to do it.
I just want to scream.

Stop screaming and forget about it. Make it a non-issue. She'll do it when she wants to do it.

My kids were all around three when they did.

I know I'm not supposed to make an issue of it. It's just that she knows when she's going and just runs and hides. I guess I just wish she would get the idea of it. Thanks Jim, I guess I just needed to hear it. I keep getting from family that she should be potty training now and that I should enforce it. I have never done this before. I know how to take care of kittens and pups, not toddlers. This is both a new experience for her and I. I just want to do right by her and me. Wish my family would let me just do it my way and let her do her thing until she's ready. I am so glad I'm not going through this again. She's my one and only and I just want her to be happy and healthy. Now I just have to work on my insecuritites as a first time parent. Does it ever get any easier?

Originally Posted by techgirl

Does it ever get any easier?

Never!!!! LOL.

Seriously, just because people in your family want you to do it one way because their child did it then doesn't mean they are right. Different kids do it at different times.

I remember someone who told me that her daughter was trained at 15 months. Well that's nonsense. The mother was trained to put the kid on the toilet regularly and the kid voided/evacuated. Trained means they can communicate the need and can hold it for a reasonable amount of time if, for instance, you are in the car or a toilet is otherwise unavailable.

For many children it becomes a control issue. I'm no psychiatrist but it sounds like that with your little girl. It's something that she can hold over your head. Take away the issue and eventually she will get tired of being wet and having crap in her diaper. Also, take heart in the fact that very few children get to 18 and still wear diapers.

My oldest is a son. He was essentially trained at about 33 months but then along came his sister. His timing and her arrival could hardly have been a worse "coincidence". With all the upheaval and the loss of mom's attention he lost his interest for about three months. The he did it right around his third birthday and was dry after the first night too. In fact he said something to the effect of "OK, I want to wear underpants now, I'm ready". He literally never had an "accident". He's 20 now and in college, studying engineering and getting mostly A's. Waiting until three evidently didn't harm him intellectually.

Jessica,
It is all about control (hers) As Jim said just let it go. As for the well meaning family...
just remind them while you value the advice the ultimate decision is yours.
I have 5 children and every one of them was diffrent. They each became potty trained
in their own time.
As Jim also mentioned....none were over three when it was accomplished.
She will decide that the whole diaper thing is "old"
Buy several pairs of cute panties and make sure she sees them but do not allow her to have them. Tell her they are for when she is ready to potty. Then just drop the subject. Assure the "prize" is viewable but unreachable. Wait until she asks for them by going to the potty or asking you to take her.
When you buy them take her and allow her to pick them out and really get her excited
about it, it will assure she will "want to get the prize"
Then it is all about patience. Good Luck !

When I was potty training the twins, Amanda held out for 12 hours in training pants. She grabbed a diaper and peed in it LMAO. In fact, I had to hide the diapers while potty training, they both liked the idea of being big girls, but still wanted the diapers to pee in.

But the rest are correct, let your child be the one to tell you when they are ready, and my girls were 3 when they were potty trained.

Oh, the joys of potty training, LOL. My youngest son was 3 before he was potty trained, and I ended up letting him run around naked for awhile until he needed to pee (I knew he needed to when he asked me for a pull up), then basically held him on the potty until he finally peed. After he realized it wasn't so horrible, he went every time, pee and poop, and I can count on one hand the number of accidents Conor has had. I truly feel it is better not to force the issue too much, no matter what other family members might say about it (my older sister ALWAYS had something critical to say, "He's STILL wearing Pull Ups??").

Thank you so much everyone for your advice and sharing your experiences. She is terrified of the idea of wearing underwear right now. If we bring it up, she starts screaming no and carries on. Her and I had a little mom and daughter talk and she knows I will wait until she's ready and I won't push it. My sister keeps insisting that I put her in underwear now and then let her hang out in a dirty set so she learns to hate it and train quicker(To that I say eww and thought about how much therapy my kid would need after that). That's how she did her two boys. I'm just going to sit back and let my girl take her time. Thanks again for letting me vent and the good advice.

Originally Posted by techgirl

Thanks again for letting me vent and the good advice.

It's too bad they don't come with "owner's" manuals.

Seriously, there are a lot of ways to parent and one thing I learned from doing it for the last 20 years and through three children (the girls are 17 and soon to be 12) is that they'll generally do well despite our mistakes and shortcomings. Since you plan for her to be your one and only don't feel compelled to "push" her to grow up too fast. Those "baby days" are some of my fondest memories, and once they pass that stage they don't turn back.

Everyone here gave such good advice and I agree totally.
Kids have different stages of fears that they go through. My seven year old has all of a sudden fear of taking a shower with the door shut, I had one other go through this as well. I had to stand at the door way and wait until she was done with the one now it is just good enough that the door is open and I can hear her.
I have also had kids afraid of the potty training. These fears come and go, all part of the learning process, and she will go when she is ready. No one knows when that will be exactly and the best way to handle it is to not make a big deal out of it, that will only enhance her fears and lower trust factors.
I learned to process "others" advice but when it comes down to it just used my gut instinct and my kids instincts.

I agree with Jim, they grow up so quickly and especially now when growing up seems to happen earlier and earlier.

Just wait until the embarrassment stage.