Women are evil. Don't mess with them

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks,
interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a
woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal
door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the
circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a
chair.
Kill Her!

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The
agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife
and
go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went
into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with
tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go
home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,
to
kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were
heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on
the
walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and
there
stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death
with
the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them

Good one, Man. I'm still laughing!

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her Immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, runningher forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

hahahah thats awsome...nasty but awsome..lol